King Talk

The Torpe Road Conclusion

2012-02-03T06:42:00.000-08:00

And here we are again, to end all that needs to be ended. It was fun while it lasted, despite my unpredictability to keep the story moving because of my failure to keep the gears on my brain working. I mean, sure, I could have just write all of it in 2-3 months, but it just wouldn’t be the same. Mawawala ang wit, ang humor and most especially, the passion (naks!) to tell the most wonderful story ever done since The Notebook by Nicholas Parks. Or maybe Hachiko: A Dog’s Story (kahit di ko pa napanuod yung either versions sa DVD.) Again, before we begin, I would like to extend my gratitude to all those who read, natawa and nakarelate sa mga sinulat ko. You made this Torpe guy happy. Mas matutuwa pa ko kung na-recommend nyo pa ito sa mga kakilala nyo. At kung sinabi na “ayoko, ang haba naman” you have my permission to maul him/her.

Now that is out of the way what I find interesting is I promised myself na isusulat ko lang yung mga experiences ko sa mga niligawan ko, at hindi sa mga girlfriend ko. Pero I felt like it just wouldn’t be right if I didn’t tell my story on them. And besides, I only had 2 girlfriends (I’m a late bloomer, really), so this will be short. I decided not to tell all since some are pretty intimate.Sa amin-amin na lang yung ibang detalye.

It was 2008. So there I was, being dumped again for the 8^th time by Singapore at work. I was so frustrated at the world that I just want to piss at it. No girl is giving a damn on me so I felt like I just want to concentrate on work, be with my friends and laugh at everything and just let a potential girl come to me. Ayoko na maghirap pa. Kung me magparamdam man o wala, okey lang sa akin, I’m having fun without a girlfriend. It seemed the most logical thing to do during that time.

Until I met this girl at our office. She will be named Cubao. Cubao is of average height, almost at 5’6, has long shiny black hair, a distinguishing mole at her upper lip and a morena. One attention-grabbing thing here is she works as a security guard in our office. Now before you all raise your eyebrows and say something demeaning like “pumatol ka sa guard?, Lola na ba yan???” or “bumaba na standards mo p’re” hear me out. For one, she is not your ordinary security guard. She was statuesque. In short, seksi nya. In fact, what attracted me

when I first saw her at the front of the glass door separating our production floor from the lobby is her hubog. She had curves on the right places.

She was new to the agency pero di ko sya napansin until mga few days ago. I remember when really I saw her I did a double take. Parang, “wow, guard ito???” What’s really amazing about me and men in particular is sasabihin mo na ayaw mo na umibig ulet, pero once na me nakita ka na natipuhan mo, gagaling agad ang puso mong nasaktan. Which is what happened to me. I would go in out of the doors more often and talk to her. I remember when she asked me what my name is I gave a fake one. I gave Armando, if I’m not mistaken.

Then one time after work it was still in the afternoon and I was already at home since malapit lang ako sa office I have decided out of the blue to get her number. I mustered enough courage and reviewed the tips given to me by my friends and when I stepped out of the elevator I saw her with a fellow male guard. She was playing with a rubber ball since mga ganung oras wala nang tao sa production floor at petix mode na lang. I asked for her number and she obliged. I texted her in the evening and dun na nagsimula lahat.

Sa mga sumusunod na araw me routine na ko: after work, tambay muna sa office para makipag-kwentuhan kay Cubao. Then after her shift nagte-text-an kami. I learned a lot about her dahil sa pag-tatambay ko. She finished College from Davao but one thing lead to another that’s why she took the job of a security guard, likes Hamonado and treats her hair with hot oil. What I also found out that surprised me is that we have a 7-year age gap. But honestly, it wasn’t a factor. Heck, di nga pansin sa itsura nya. We clicked and I felt na me tsansa ako sa kanya. I guess we have that feeling.

A month or two after that first meeting, I asked her the magic question during one time na hinatid ko sya pauwi. Kung tayo na ba. She said yes and I can’t remember what happened after but I feel like a million bucks. I was the happiest guy on the world during that time.

After 23 years of being single, I’m a boyfriend to someone.

News spread fast on the office. Some of my officemates gave me a “mental fist bump”, congratulating me on the effort that I did. She is a looker, after all. There is also the usual teasing, like “uuyyy, si [my name] binata na”, “makakapasok na si [my name] ng kahit ano sa loob ng production floor” and “pag-swipe ng scanner nya me kasama pang kiss”. But I didn’t mind. Kasama talaga yun pag me nalamang balita na me jowa ka.

Speaking of kiss, with Cubao it was the first time I had an “intimate” kiss. Torpe as I am, I was not a “dude with no kiss experience”. I had my first kiss with a gradeschool classmate. Then after that I had some run-ins with some “bars” but it wasn’t passionate. There was no emotion involved. With Cubao I got that. I remember during Highchool a classmate of mine said to me that kissing a girl is no different from kissing your own skin. He even demonstrated by kissing his hand. I guess he has his opinion (and besides, gwapo rin sya so I’m sure nakarami na yun ng babae) , but for me, iba pa rin eh.

We were able to go out and watch movies and shop around on malls, despite her tight schedule. I was even able to meet her older brother one time. What I like about her is regardless of the age gap, or the “November-December” affair, she can be easily amused. Natatawa sya agad sa mga jokes ko. And her maturity helps when we have arguments; we can never be mad with each other for more than a day. I guess you could say I found the girl I’ve been looking for, unconventional as it may seem.

But alas. Things started to get complicated for me to handle and kapal man ng mukha ko, I just don’t know what to do that time, I LET GO… As I’ve written on a blog post years ago “…accepted a terrible fate and moved on.” While I cannot expound much on what happened, let’s just say that I was placed in a situation where I had to make a choice and my decision made me break up with her. She got hurt and I was depressed during the next few days. I wasn’t able to move on properly so I still “became friends” with her in the strictest sense. Kinakamusta ko sya sa work, tine-text ko pa at kumain pa kame sa labas. I know it sounds pathetic, but I thought that I’d let her first find someone then stop pestering her.

This occurred for a couple of months but then something happened in a way where I saw how she can get angry that I decided not to talk or pansinin na sya. Maybe it’s just karma for what I did to her before or a method from the Heavens to stop me from dwelling on the past, but I had to toughen up and just throw my lovelife in disregard. I remember na pinatugtog ko yung kantang “The Last Time” by Eric Benet habang naghuhugas ako ng pinggan sa bahay. This time, I had enough. My only consolation is I was able to experience being a boyfriend and at least di ako mamatay na single since birth. Hey, some people are a lot Torpier than me.

And well, you know what happened after that if you’ve been following my “Road” series. Our team had a new agent, fresh from training. She will be named Fairview.

Fairview is of average height, almost at 5’4. She has long flowing black hair up to her upper arm, has a petite frame and a very distinguishing face. I only saw her when she was taking calls when I was just about to go my respective station. I thought that she’s an agent from another team who took up our space because there are no more available stations. I was introduced to her and several of my teammates by my Team Manager. When I saw her she looked cute and wanted to get to know her better. I was given that chance when my Team Manager made me sat next to her because she needed someone to help her with the concerns of the callers. What was really amusing about that time is I “broke the ice” with some corny jokes.

Me: May joke ako sa mayonnaise…

Fairview: Ano?

Me: Wag na, baka i-spread mo eh… Ito na lang, me joke ako sa dahon…

Fairview : Ano yun ?

Me: Wag na, green eh…

Really clichéd as it is, it helped me introduce myself to her despite the forced laugh from her. I learned from our talks between taking calls that this is her second job, likes 90’s Tagalog romance movies (Jolina-Marvin, Rico Yan-Claudine, John Lloyd-Bea etc.) and rates Sinigang na Baboy as her favorite food. Nagustuhan ko na sya nun since she’s very down-to-earth and very girly, something I look for in a girlfriend. The only problem is she has a boyfriend that is still working on her previous company. Pero sinabi nya na medyo nagkakalabuan na sila because of the “things men do”. I just thought that I should just be there for her when she really needs it, most especially those times. What’s really outstanding about my time with Fairview is that di ako humingi masyado ng payo sa mga kaibigan ko. Every joke, comfort and any manly thing I did to her, sariling kayod ko lang. You could say that my “teachers” (Bone Guy, Air Man 2 and Smooth Guy, see Part 7) taught me well.

I just waited patiently for the time when they would break up so I would seize the opportunity. That time did come and I presented myself in a different manner to her. We ate at some nearby restaurants after shift and I would accompany her to her ride home. It was that moment where my brain asked a question that has been bothering me ever since I found out that she’s single: “Pare, di ka ba mukhang rebound lang nyan?”

That’s when I asked some advice to my “teachers” and a few officemates and all of them gave me the same conclusion: “Wag mo na isipin yun masyado”, “Sa tingin mo papatulan nya lang yung unang nanligaw sa kanya after sya nakipag-break dun sa jowa nya???” “Di importante yun, pake nila???” I heeded their advice and I even asked her out to watch a movie and she said yes. It was that time at the mall that I got to know her better. I even presented to her my passion for collectibles in a toy store. She even learned my time with Cubao. What was really touching and showed that she also had interest in me is she bought me a toy that I’ve been looking at for some time during our date at the mall. I’ve been meaning to buy it but it’s a little expensive. That was very memorable and sweet.

A few days have gone by and eventually I became a little demanding and on the last few minutes of the shift I said to Fairview that our time together would be useless pag hindi pa naging tayo. She checked the clock on her telephone where she is taking calls and marked it as our official time as a couple. I was very, very proud of myself.

I saw in Fairview a very sweet woman, who makes little gestures that makes you feel loved. She also loves my jokes and my constant commentary sa lahat ng bagay na nakikita ko. While we do have our differences on music and movie choices, it was never an issue. And while we do have our ups and downs, they are not enough to bring our relationship to an end. We’ve been to places, celebrated birthdays, gone on countless dates, ate at a dozen restaurants, saw a lot of different kinds of movies, laughed together, met the potential in-laws, met each other’s friends, shared stories and so on and so forth.

I’d like to think that the UPs are what makes it worth it in a relationship, while the DOWNs are the ones that make us think if it really is worth it. So is she worth the journey that I’ve been through? Is she the diamond in the rough na matagal ko nang hinahanap? Is Fairview my “End of the Torpe Road?”

Ay pare, p*t*ng*na, oo…

In the strictest sense ,for now,

THE END.

The Torpe Road Part 8

2012-01-17T08:27:00.000-08:00

At times we have a motto that best reflects what happened in a part (or “slice”) of our life. It can either be something that changed how you handle situations or your train of thought. It can also be something that many people follow, like those found in many self-help books. Each and every one of us has mottoes, but I know this particular one you people have experienced. It goes:

“Those who don’t know history are doomed to repeat it.”

That simple but deep saying is what this post is all about. Sure, I could cite some examples supporting this saying, like the succeeding People Power movements that occurred in the Philippines, or the U.S. invasion of Vietnam and Iraq, and that question in an exam that you heard or saw before, pero di mo binigyan ng pansin na feeling mo di mo na siya makikita muli. But in a nutshell it’s all about me not learning from my past experiences with women. It seems I never really learn.

It was the second half of 2006, and I am working in a call center. I have met a lot of friends in my batch ranging from unusually-looking transvestites, working students and people who work for a couple of months and then “jump” to another call center company (we call those “call center hoppers”). We were already in the stage of taking calls and seeing if we are ready to be transferred to a team or if we still need training. Luckily, all of us pass and one really lucky thing here is a small part of our batch would be made into a whole new team, led by a newly promoted Team Manager. Nasama ako dun sa team so di na ako mahihirapan sa pagkikilala sa kanila. The others were placed on other existing teams and I believe that our closeness with each other made them feel alienated so they resigned a few months after. It was sad, but it didn’t matter to me. I was all set to be a “yuppie” or “young professional”. My team consists of my close buddies on training (as I have talked about on my previous post), as well as this unique girl, which we will Singapore.

Singapore is petite, but not small. She has long black hair up to her forearms and has a faint moustache (like with Qatar, see Part 3). She has this cute smile and uncanny innocence that would make you want to talk to her (more on that later). Besides that she is from the same training class I’m in, me pumorma na rin sa kanya sa class namin before pero di sya sineryoso. She is the best friend ng niligawan ko before, si Bacolod (see previous post). She is also from Bacolod and also took the course of being a teacher.

Okay, okay, okay. Alam ko na kung anong sasabihin nyo sa akin. “Di ka pa ba natuto sa nangyari sa iyo dati nung Highschool?” or “Best friend nanaman ng niligawan mo before ang popormahan mo?” But hear me out. Let me tell you the rest of my story before you roll your eyes and stop reading this. Sipain ko kayo eh, malayo na nabasa nyo. Sayang naman yun.

Anyway, even before I was making my moves on Bacolod I already met Singapore then. She’s not really outspoken and talks softly. I guess probinsyanas are really shy (well, some of them anyway). She’s with us whenever I was able to walk Bacolod to their boarding house or when I gave her gifts. When I noticed that Bacolod doesn’t give a damn about me, my senses quickly set on Singapore. She’s the girly type, which I prefer. And she does have this purity that would make you sit up and notice. But I hesitated, because I’ve been on this situation before back in Highschool. I don’t want to be that guy na magmumukhang chickboy. I thought to myself, “Easy lang p’re, wag kang magmadali. Makipag-kaibigan ka muna sa kanya bago mo isipin na ligawan sya.” That time I really wanted to make sure that she will be the one that will say “YES” when I would ask her the question. So I got close to her first, which was pretty easy.

It was not difficult because even before we were promoted to a team we were already paired up when taking calls. I remember our trainer did that because I talked fast, while she talked slow. Our improvement on taking calls depended on one of our talking styles rubbing off on each other. We talked, but it was nothing special, because our conversation goes like this:

Me: Singapore, okay ka pa ba dyan?

Singapore: Okay lang.

Me: Baka pagod ka na ha.

Singapore: Hinde.

Me: Sure ka ha?

Singapore: Oo.

Me: Sabihin mo lang ha, ako na bahala sa yo.

Singapore: Sige.

Yeah, I know, right? Sure, she’s not the most talkative person in the world, but it wouldn’t hurt to at least say something more than 2-3 syllables. I guess she’s the really, really, really shy type. Or I just have to get to know her more so she would open up. Feeling ko nasa loob yung kulo nya.

Luckily, I have my close friends (Air Man 2, Bone Guy and Smooth Guy. Again, read previous post) to teach me how. Besides the fact that they’re a little older than me (read: more experiences) and are certified Casanovas in their own right, they are willing to lend their advices on how to woo Singapore. One of their advices on me was that I need to cut down sa paglalandi sa mga babae sa office floor para di ako magmukhang manyak sa kanya. Before in Highschool and College I was a little uneducatedsa babae. Pero ngayon nung nagta-trabaho na ko, I quickly got exposed to all kinds of women. Before it was just FHM magazines, now well, it’s not constant visits to nightclubs or Beerhouses (although I did experience that) but it seems it was easier to talk to women now. I don’t know, maybe it’s because the women I’ve encountered there are outgoing and mature. I became used to talking to women that the ones that I became close with hinaharot ko, like niyayakap ko sila or kinukurot ko sa gilid. Some of them nagustuhan ko, at marami rin sila, mga 7. Tinuloy-tuloy ko lang yung paglalandi sa kanila at baka ma-develop. May isa na feeling ko may gusto rin sa akin pero di ako intersado masyado sa kanya. She’s too boyish and she’s not my type. There’s also this other girl na yung tipong “sana hinintay na nya ko, imbes na natyatyaga ka dyan sa boyfriend mo (cue the Parokya Ni Edgar song “Halaga”).” She was a little chubby and we really connected well. At times we would text and nagbibiruan kami. Pero hanggang dun lang yun. But if ever she would break up with her boyfriend, popormahan ko yun. Pero hindi eh. Oh well.

Then there was this one time that a working female College student from a different team became close to our male group that during times that she is all alone on a shift, where none of her teammates are there, she would sit near us or beside me. Man, she’s got really big knockers at pwede mong silipan sya. She doesn’t mind the stares because she’s like “one-of-the-boys”. She also often wears short skirt that one time I was talking to her and as a way of comforting her, I touched her thigh. After that incident I was so proud of myself I told them what I did. They just shrugged it and said “para yun lang eh…” but for me it was something. I felt like that was one of those times that I became a Casanova. Okay, maybe a Casanova-in-Training.

But, upon my friend’s request, I had to quit the maharot type. Para magka-brownie points ako kay Singapore. Para kay Singapore, babait ako.

And being the easily-influenced guy that I am, while we were having another memorable drinking session, Bone Guy suggested to me that I write Singapore a letter. Writing a letter, he says, can help you say the things that you can’t say when you are in front of the person. And being the probinsyana type of girl, it can also help you look more passionate and serious in courting the girl. I calculated the risk and why not, it’s worth a shot.

I wrote first on a yellow pad to draft the “love letter” and also to avoid erasures. I can’t remember everything that I wrote, but it’s mostly me remembering the times that we were seatmates during the times we were taking calls; me smiling when her conservative persona is shattered when she gets angry with the caller and when she greets the caller with an accent. Of course I included the part when Ii asked her if we can be a couple. Talagang tinuon ko ng oras din yung pagsusulat. I gave her the letter during our shift and waited for a response from her. I waited the whole night but I got nothing. At the end of our shift I approached her on the locker area and said:

Me: Singapore, nabasa mo ba yung sulat ko?

Singapore: Oo.

Me: Uhm, well, anong masasabi mo dun? Totoo yung sinabi ko dun sa letter.

Singapore: Di pwede (my name), may boyfriend na ko…

Me: Ah, ganun, ok.

BAM!!! Rejection again. It would hurt a lot if I wasn’t expecting it. I mean, she didn’t react much to the letter (or that she doesn’t have the ability to, given her short responses to everything. I’m kidding.) And just the “gut feeling” of it. You know how it feels. I remember after our shift ended in the morning and I was already about to sleep, her answer kept on replaying on my head. It almost made me cry and parang nasasaktan ako na parang me tumutusok sa tagiliran ko. It took me a while to sleep that day. I guess it really hurt a lot because I invested on so much time on her, and the fact na di pa ko nagkaka-girlfriend. I admit, I was a little pressured on making her my girl, but I guess it’s not yet my time.

My friends quickly heard the news, and as usual they made fun of me but advised that I still talk to her so the fact that we being friends would never fade away. Plus, I didn’t believe that she has a boyfriend. I thought that Singapore didn’t know me well so she said no that day. In a way my mantra that time was “When a girl says “NO” it means “NO” or “try harder, stupid.”

Days go by and I learned on our team-meeting in Batangas that she DOES have a boyfriend; I saw her going to a corner alone and talking to someone over her celfone a couple of times. My teammates told me that her boyfriend was a seaman. And you know that saying na “Seaman-seaMANLOLOKO” or “Ang seaman me syota sa iba’t-ibang port”? That happened to her. Well, it’s either that or they broke up because of the hardship of a long-distance relationship. So my quest to get Singapore continues.

I remember on her birthday that I gave her a bouquet of flowers. Before nung shift pumunta ako sa isang flower shop kiosk on a nearby mall and bought one. I had it made to order for her taste. I can’t remember what type of flower it is, but its theme is pink, since she’s the girly type. I hid it under my seat when I was taking calls and I gave it to her at the end of her shift. At first ayaw nyang tanggapin, nahihiya lang siguro, but my teammates and my Team Manager persisted on her accepting my gift. Eventually she did and I walked her home that day. She thanked me and I was proud of myself that day.

But that joy quickly faded, since she was not really opening up to me and didn’t show interest after all those months. I was like, “Ano bang problema mo at ayaw mo pa sa akin??” I became so annoyed on her that I kept on saying to myself (and after a few weeks, to others) that she has the charm of a mailbox; di mo sya mapapansin. Heck, I even said that a mailbox has more charm than her. I know it was wrong for me to do that, but I guess every man has his limit; I’ve reached mine. I gave up on Singapore and just saw her as a teammate and nothing else. My biggest mistake was I wasn’t courteous to her anymore. On our company year-end party she asked me if I could watch over her handbag since she wants to take a picture of a band. I said yes but I was rolling my eyes. She noticed it and decided to carry it instead. Just plain wrong, I know.

Well, based on what I’ve seen on her Facebook profile, she resigned and is happily working in that country and is in a relationship with a fellow officemate. The officemate is a little too sure of himself (read: mahangin), so it was a surprise for me on how he got Singapore. I guess some men know how to pursue a woman.

What did I learn? A lot, actually. I learned how to be patient and being respectful with a woman. I learned how to be patient on courting, that a great deal of time can be spent. But mostly the cruel reality that there is someone out there that is not for you even if you really tried your hardest. There will come that time, and you just have to accept it.

What I find that is really funny is that my time with Singapore was a combination of all the girls I’ve tried to court. Her faint moustache (Qatar), best friends with the girl I’ve courted before (Valuenzuela) and yung paghahatid sa kanya (Bulacan). Looking at the rather-ominous signs, could it mean that Singapore is the last of the girls that rejected me and the next would say yes? Hmmm… maybe.

(TO BE CONCLUDED)

The Torpe Road Recap

2012-01-14T06:54:00.000-08:00

It’s almost the end of the “Road” for me and I admit I enjoyed the fame, however small it may be. I am a little disappointed that I wasn’t able to finish this on time. I was planning on finishing the whole memoirs by the end of the year (2011) but y’know, I gots lazy. Plus it can be difficult to write a 4-page story loaded with wit, humor and past events with my brain 110% focused and being easily distracted (damn you internet!!!).

I would like to thank the people who have read all of blog posts (you know who you are) and apologize for the 3-4 months of waiting for the next post.

While I am still waiting for a call from any local or foreign publisher to collect all my “The Torpe Road” entries into one book (bakit hindi? Itsh mah dream, you know? Besides seeing the Eiffel Tower and banging Bangs Garcia, of course)

I thought that before giving out one of my last “Road” post it would be fitting to give a recap on all the past accounts that I had. It’s like a “catch-up” before giving out the finale. Tsaka baka me mga nagbabasa na di pa nabasa yung ibang post ko, o kaya

tinatamad na hanapin yung previous entries (I know some people) so here they are, conveniently in one post plus quote(s) from the said post to make you be interested in reading it plus a link, of course.

P.S. Up to now I really thought the idea of replacing the girl’s name with the name of the place that they currently live are pretty clever. Thanks, Men’s Health magazine contributor.

New Zealand

“…we [had a] prom [on our] graduating year. While chatting with my friends New Zealand suddenly appeared. Man, I swore when I saw her beautiful music was playing. The appropriate song would be “She” by Elvis Costello.”

Valuenzuela

“[She] gave me a small letter folded and stapled...I opened the letter and it read… I have fallen in love with you”

Qatar

“I want to meet [her]…and she agreed. When I walked there a woman stood up and smiled. It’s a good thing she recognized [me] since she looked a little different while wearing her Nurse uniform. She looks beautiful. I mean, I’m a sucker for women in uniform…”

Las Pinas

“[I was talking to her over the] phone that night [and asked] bakit di na lang maging tayo… bakit di natin subukan?”

Bulacan

“I always sense that she perceives me as a very smart and mature guy, and hope that in the process of being with her when we are traveling together would make her forget that [other] guy and be with me instead”

Paranaque

“I also noticed that while I was talking to her [on our date] she kept on checking her celfone and texting someone.”

Bacolod

“I gave [the gifts] to her the next day and she thanked for the gesture but parang naramdaman ko na di sya interesado sa ginawa ko.”

So there they are. See, you’re not alone in this, Mr. Emo-guy-na-wala-pang-girlfriend-since-birth. I’ve been there. And, looking at my previous entries, some of them have grammatical errors and typos. Again, I apologize. I’ll fix them soon, but at least nandun pa rin yung idea.

The Torpe Road Part 7

2011-12-11T06:50:00.001-08:00

Pride is a good and a bad thing. For example, your school winning in a varsity game reaps self-respect and makes your parents proud of the thousands of pesos/dollars/baht that they have spent, giving you quality education and athletic students, plus the simple joy of still being with your long-time B.I. friends during highschool or even elementary. On the other hand if your school loses we would sometimes get into a riot and destroy public property and you'd humiliate the image of your school. That’s pride for you. It’s almost as potent as love. Go figure.

Like it or not, men have REALLY huge egos. That’s why we validate our existence with that Ferrari, iPad 2 and that Wolverine Statue purchase. We may regret it in the future, but at least we have something to make payabang sa mga barkada natin. The same also goes with bagging that chick of a girl-next-door, probisyana or a tattooed type. We have a lot to be proud of getting that girl based on pa-porma alone, but there is also the possibility for it to be broken in a million pieces if the said chick ay binasted ka sa mga dahilan na nakakasakit sa inyong pagkakalalake.This is what this girl did to me, which we will call Bacolod.

It was the year 2006. I’ve just graduated from College and want to look for work. Looking for job with a 5-digit salary, I’ve tried to apply at a Call Center. I know na medyo malayo sya sa pinag-aralan ko, pero one thing led to another. Besides, I don’t want to be that one guy na 8 buwan na naghahanap ng trabaho na related sa work nya at wala pa ring mahanap, or yung nakahanap nga ng ganung trabaho pero nasa isang environment na paulit-ulit ang tinutugtog na pambatang kanta at walang water dispenser sa pinagta-trabahuhan nila. Believe me, I know some people. Anyway, I’ve applied in 3 Call Centers but all of them gave me the boot. Either I gave bad answers on the interviews or I failed on the typing or written tests. I just persisted and in Call Center No. 4 I was able to get the job. It was a very rewarding experience.

So there I was, a call center agent. There are a lot of benefits and disadvantages of being one, as I later learned. For example, if you are a fresh graduate, being in a call center makes you marketable while trying to bag that “dream job” because some companies wanted employees with some work experience, and working in a call center does accomplish that. There’s also a lot of money that can be earned, the main reason that a lot of people work here. Just by talking to people over the phone, you can earn almost 40% more than regular bank employees. And sometimes companies give out incentives like gift certificates, additional money, gadgets and movie tickets to urge people to work harder. And because of that, often the work can be really stressful. Mapipilitan kang maki-usap sa Americans who are slow, abuse you verbally, make threats and, on rare occasions, make sexual remarks. There’s also the graveyard shift, where you work in the wee hours in the evening. Picture this: it’s 2am, half of the populace are sleeping and dreaming while you are in an office talking to an American instructing him/her how to open the computer/ explain how interest works/ dispute a suspicious transaction on the bill. And then after work you are forced to sleep na may araw na sumisinag sa bintana ng kwarto mo.Minsan mabi-bwiset ka pa dahil may nag-iingay sa kabilang bahay or me inaayos na kalsada. And of course there’s the theme of monotony. After 2-3 months masasanay ka agad, so it gets boring immediately. But, all work is like that. It’s just that a call center job has a quick learning curve.

I was already training to achieve an American accent or at least sound like a professional American English talker and learning the system that we would use on our computers to assist them when I met Bacolod.

Bacolod is of average height, morenang-morena and has long hair almost reaching to her lower part of her back. She has these mesmerizing eyes that I think that’s how I fell in love with her. Originally we were divided into 2 groups to be trained and she was in the other group. It was in the product knowledge classes, where we would become familiar with the workarounds of the caller’s problems, that I met her as well as a group of 3 friends that are downright maangas at matitinik sa tsiks, something that I lacked and benefited from their advice (which I will tell more later). We were like a dance crew: no one guy is recognized without the whole. There is Smooth Guy: he acts like the leader of our crew and he’s so smooth, kaya nyang pasagutin si Mother Teresa. Next is Bone Guy: he comes from Baguio and has a fetish for fashioning snake bones into accessories. He’s also a chickboy but he’s not that smooth. Me ka-sablayan din. Lastly, there’s Air Man 2: man, I don’t know why I always befriend the mayabang type. Medyo mayabang sya pero nasa lugar naman. He always wanted to include himself on conversations so we also call him Bidaman (laging bumibida) , a nod to that Anime series and toyline. We really bonded, thanks to alcohol and our common topic, which are girls. Heck, any guy group’s topic is girls.

I really had fond memories of the group. There was one time when we were in the morning shift and after work we’ve decided to drink in Bone Guy’s apartment. We talked a lot of things, but things got censored when the girlfriend/wife of Air Man 2 and Smooth Guy, respectively, went to the place to maybe bantayan kami at baka gumawa kami ng kababalaghan, if you know what I mean. It was still a fun time and in the end we stayed up all night and slept for only 1-2 hours then went to work again. Luckily there was training that day so we were able to doze off. Those were the days…

Anyway, when I saw Bacolod for the first time I immediately fell in love with her. She had that impeccable charm na meron ang mga probinsyana. Sabi nga sa Bamboo song na “Probinsyana”

“Mahirap amuhin/ ang Probinsyana/pag napa-ibig/ wala kang duda...“

I was able to man up because I’m tired of being the torpe guy. I approached and talked to her during breaks and when we were seatmates. My friends easily saw that I had plans to court her and they were both a help and a pain in the ass. It’s like Highschool again as we were teased by my fellow trainees. It became hard because nailang sya but I still received support from my other trainees, especially my friends. I was able to show off my artistic side and explain to her in a way how artists think. Sadly, I wasn’t able to learn much about her other than that she is with her best friend here in Manila, nag-aral maging teacher, lives in Bacolod and naghanap ng trabaho na malaki ang kita so nag-apply sa call center, and as I have learned later on, meron ding pumo-porma sa kanya sa klase namin. I’ll tell you more about it later.

I remember my close friends during training said to me na bumili ako ng cake at single-stemmed rose at ibigay ko sa kanya para pan-dagdag pogi points. Yeah, baduy kung baduy,pero kumagat ako at naisipan ko din naman na okey na idea yun. Besides, I am easily influenced by people who are close to me. They’d suggest something or bring an idea, and I’d do it or weigh the options. That’s one of my weaknesses, but there are limitations. Like infomercials.Di talaga ako maniniwala sa mga iyon. Anyway, I had to go to Glorietta and bought a Red Ribbon Cake and an expensive rose that also comes along with a mini-water container to avoid the flower from wilting. I gave it to her the next day and she thanked for the gesture but parang naramdaman ko na di sya interesado sa ginawa ko . I did get a beso so to my Torpe mind okay na rin. I was really open to any ideas that Smooth Guy and Air Man 2 proposed to stage a fight near her seat para makita nya ang mangyayari and si Air Man 2 ang mag-aawat and then Smooth Guy would apologize to me para magmukha akong maangas sa kanya. We were supposed to execute the plan any time after we (or they) have suggested it, so long as we are near her and our kwentuhan would be perfect for an argument na hindi mukhang peke. We were able to do it but me katangahan akong ginawa; hinamon ko sya na magsuntukan sa loob ng Training room. Smooth Guy almost laughed but we were able to convince the people inside the room that we got into a heated spat. Was all the things I did worth it? Well, despite the teasing and the kind of a juvenile attempt to woo her, yes. But did she give a damn about it? Based on my observation, no. Her full attention was on another co-trainee na pumo-porma sa kanya. Hey, I’m all for a friendly competition. Heck, this is my first time where I had one. It was rather unfortunate that I wasn’t really prepared for something like this. Why?

The person who is wooing her is also a her.

Mega Ouch. Huli ko nang napansin na pinopormahan si Bacolod. The lesbian is a little chubby, has boy-cut hair, almost the same height as me and wears glasses. The funniest and bitter thing here is Bacolod seems to really like her. I don’t know, I guess that me pinag-samahan na sila sa unang training class at magaling sya sa panliligaw, probably because she knows what a girl thinks and wants. Nonetheless, I took the challenge and tried my best to make her choose me instead of her.

But alas. I was no match. I finally gave up when I tried to talk to her and she doesn’t seem to be interested in what I’m saying and one time when I walked her home she kept on asking her best friend about the lesbian and naramdaman ko na parang wala lang ako dun. It made a huge crack to my ego. My friends kept on teasing me, saying stuff like “Mas gusto nya kasi na umuwi sa kanila na di buntis” or “Ampota natalo ka ng babae p’re!!!”. It can really bring you down, but you have to move on.

Y’know, even back in Highschool I am intrigued and hated lesbians. Like, how they were able to hook up with a beautiful girl, how they look inappropriate with their trying-hard-to-speak-in-a-husky-voice, boy-cut hair and wearing-loose-clothing-to-conceal-their-breasts. During college the thought of “ Bakit sila ang pinili kaysa sa aming lalake?” kept popping on my head so you can see why I despise them. And the way na manlambing sila, ugh. Get a room. It’s bad enough that boyfriends and girlfriends cuddle na magpalit na ng mukha, eh sa kaparehas pa ng kasarian? But my perception with them changed over time when I befriended some lesbians at the office, so I was able to ask questions and understood their story. Nalaman ko na mga tao rin naman sila, may mga sariling pag-iisip at kagustuhan. When you think about it, our society is not that open to same-sex relationships so mas mahirap din sa kanila yung makahanap ng pag-ibig. As a result I dropped the hate, wala rin naming mangyayari sa akin kung puro lang galit ang nasa loob ko. And I made a vow not to hate lesbians…so long as they don’t pick yung nililigawan ko rin. Fate seemed to be okay with my deal.

Bacolod seems to be doing fine now, based from what I’ve seen on her Facebook page. She “broke up” with the lesbian, went back to her home province and is working as a call center agent in another company. You could say that what she went through was just a “phase” like what girls go through with their stay at dorms during college . Like that Katy Perry song:

“ I kissed a girl/ and I like it”

And the lesbian? Well, from what I know, she traveled to the U.S. maybe to look for work, but bumalik na dito at nakita ko pa sya one time when I am already out from work. For one brief moment gusto ko syang sapakin, maybe to just vent out. But it was just an idea. Malay mo, ako pa yung mapahiya sa ginawa ko.

But don’t feel bad with me (well, I hope you are) as all my efforts are not lost with Bacolod. It seems that I repeated history in a way that I saw her best friend…and I took another leap of faith.

The Torpe Road Part 6

2011-11-03T01:32:00.001-07:00

It’s like an end of your favorite TV show or your favorite rock band disbanding (or usually the vocalist getting greedy and wanting to do a solo career). It’s bittersweet and you need to move forward and try out new stuff. Like juggling, for instance.

It’s almost the end of the “Road” for me. As much as it is therapeutic and me becoming a celebrity in the strictest sense with my close friends and (maybe) people from Iceland, South Africa and China, it can be rather traumatic to think back on what I did. Sure, there’s the philosophy of trial and error but remembering what you did before can be painful. Heck, Present Me would smack my Past Me’s head so hard and shout “ TANGINA!!! BAKIT YAN ANG GINAWA MO???!!!”. But I guess even playboys have his bad day.

Which is what this post is all about. This is one of my greatest follies. My greatest sablay. I’m not particularly proud of what I did, but it just happened. I think I’

m selling it too much and I’m afraid I might not deliver. But enough of the hype, let’s get this going…

It’ll only be a few more years before I would graduate from College. We were already thinking of what our Thesis subject will be but also able to enjoy the benefits of being a College

student, like going to concerts and being in charge of your time. Because there are times that you’d have a 2-3 hour interval from your next class and you could use that time to either go to the mall or bisitahin yung pinopormahan mo sa dorm nya. And it was at that free time that I met this classmate of mine in a different way. She will be named Paranaque.

Paranaque is a bit tall, almost at 5’6. She had long, black hair and almost looks Chinese because of her singkit eyes. Another distinguishing attribute of Paranaque is her buck front teeth. She’s barkada with Las Pinas ( see Part 3) and is the usual Art student. You know the type: the one who prefers Tori Amos over Taylor Swift kind. I’ve been classmates with Paranaque ever since I enrolled in our University pero I only saw her as a friend and fellow classmate. It never dawned on me that she can be a potential girlfriend, not until Rivermaya came to our campus one pre-Christmas day.

It was our Annual University Christmas Celebration , and another way of ending the School year.We were treated to one free choice of food in famous fast food restaurants and eateries, seeing the whole campus grounds lit up in Christmas lights and a free concert. During that time Rivermaya was the one that will play for us, where Rico Blanco was still the vocalist. They played well, and even joked around about piracy; “… wag kayong bibili ng piratang CD namin, hiramin nyo na lang yung orig sa kaibigan mo at ipa-burn nyo na lang…” We’ve learned later on that whileRivermaya is waiting for their “set” they stayed in our College building since malapit lang yun sa stage. Paranaque and her friends was in our building that time and nakapagpa-kuha sila ng picture sa mga miyembro ng banda. She uploaded it on then-famous social network Friendster and I commented on it and even made a joke in reference to their hit song during that time “Liwanag sa Dilim” and changed it to “Liwanag sa Panty”. It was corny but we were able to make a connection. You could pretty much guess that at that exact moment I was able to make my “moves” on her…

After that I was already talking and made my trademark corny jokes to her. I was even able to get her landline number and we talked for hours. We talked about Anime and some of my barkada’s ka-sablay-an sa panliligaw. I was never the one to talk about that, but I guess it came involuntarily because puro dead air na sa telepono at wala na rin akong masyadong makuwento. Even then, my previous telephone conversations sa mga dati kong niligawan only helped so little with Paranaque. Nonetheless, I was able to learn a lot about her. She is a tomboy type and has also watched hentai, much to my amusement. She also is best friends with my ka-barkada na lalake but there was no competition. She also broke up with her long-time boyfriend because of him cheating on her. You know how it goes; you’d feel sorry for her but a little happy because it gives you a big window of an opportunity for her to become your girlfriend. It looks easy but it requires the utmost care. Because any minute she might get back with him. It’s like becoming a singer where you have to take care of your voice or else you won’t be able to go abroad ( well, let’s be realistic here anyway… )

Speaking of those kinds of singers, I’d like to go off-topic and talk about my experience with my past neighbors. Overlooking my room is the other house’s staircase and a room which is in my humblest judgment mga dalawang babae na nag-a-apply na Cultural Artist, or “japayuki”. Why such a claim? Because everyday in the afternoon for what seems to be almost 2 months they’d practice their vocal abilities with a guidance of a gay vocal coach. They can be pretty loud, so siesta is out of the question. I remember in my ka-bad trip-an I’d remark about their inability to sing. One song that stands out in their practice sets is the Jennifer Lopez’s song "Waiting for Tonight”. There’s a line in the song where they’d sing it like this:

“ …I want to stay in this forever/ I think of the days when the sun used to set/ On my empty heart, all alone in my bed/ TOW-SING and turning/ Emotions were strong/ I knew I had to hold on/ [CHORUS] Waiting for Tonight/ OOOOHHHHH .…”

Wait, wait, wait, wha-aaatttt????

“ TOW-SING [tossing] and turning…”

At first I thought that it was a mistake, but they’d sing that part like that every time. I was laughing my ass off and even shouted to them “ HUY MALI-MALI YAN!!!”. I never knew if the girls there were sexy or pwedeng pag-nasahan because I never saw them. There was one time where the room overlooking mine was their “changing room” and I chanced that one of them finished taking a bath and was about to dress up. Tamang-tama at nakapatay yung ilaw sa kwarto ko so sinulit ko na yung pagkakataon. I was on my knees, trying my best peeping tom style when she noticed someone looking at her. No cases were filed but the next day,

there was a curtain placed in the room. Nuts. The worst luck ever was that my room is also overlooking their bathroom… but you can’t see it since it is parallel to my window. Believe me, you can’t see anything. I tried. Thrice.

Moving forward, I was really trying my best to be a potential boyfriend to her. As usual, we were being teased by my classmates and one Professor about us being an item. One time, during our outdoor sketches, one of my classmates has a SLR camera with him and my professor egged us on having a photo of us. We obliged much to my professor’s amusement. My friend gave me a print of it and I showed it to my parents. My dad had the most bizarre reaction when he saw the photo. He was sitting on the edge of the bed and when he saw it binitawan nya yung litrato at nalaglag sa sahig. I don’t know if he’s joking or not but it seemed cruel. Well, a lot of my friends too objected to the idea sa pagliligaw ko sa kanya because she’s not the pretty type. That may be true in some sense but I was kinda desperate. And, who knows, Paranaque could be worth the risk. Heck, I skipped a class just so that I could watch my favorite show, The Drew Carey Show that evening. Was it worth the risk? Not really, but I enjoyed the guilty pleasure…

It was a few weeks after that Friendster occurrence when I asked her out to a movie date to Robinsons Ermita. She hesitated at first but she said yes. I was so happy but a few days after she approached me and:

Paranaque: (my name), bakit mo ko niyayang manuod ng sine?

Me: Wala lang, gusto ko lang.

Paranaque: Kasi, parang feeling ko nililigawan mo ko...

( at that point I was speechless; I don’t know how to respond to that. )

Paranaque: (my name), kakagaling ko lang sa break-up, ayoko pa na tumanggap ng ligaw at gusto ko pa muna mag-focus sa pag-aaral…

Me: Ah ganun ba? Okey lang. Pero mag-date pa rin tayo . At least let me keep my word to you…

Paranaque: Sige…

Sonofabitch. Dalawang beses na akong binagsakan ng ganung linya. ( the first one was from New Zealand, see Part 1 ). Di ka rin talaga masasanay dun. I was shattered but I did continue our movie date. As an advice to my friends, we made a “dry run” to know where to take her to eat and how to commute to the Mall. Yan ang pagkakaibigan. Kahit di nila boto, tutulungan ka pa rin nila. We were supposed to meet in front of our College building at Saturday. When I went to our meeting place she was already there waiting for me. Late ako. Well, we took the FX and even I packed a note on my celfone some of the things I want to say to her to explain my side on bakit ko sya niligawan blah blah blah. Di ko sya nagamit at iniisip ko yung mga galaw ko. We ate at Sbarro, since I liked their food back then. After eating we talked a little about sa mga dapat gawin sa panliligaw. Pinagdiin nya na dapat wag akong ma-late. Ok lang na late ang babae, wag lang ang lalaki. I also noticed that while I was talking to her she kept on checking her celfone and texting someone. I never knew who it was but I guess it could be her best friend checking up on her or such. Nailang talaga ako dun, I kept thinking about the article I read from FHM before that on a first-time date when a girl is engrossed more on exchanging text messages than exchanging stories with you means that she’s texting her friends: “Dis date sux. I wana go home” or “Grabe ang boring kausap nito”. But still she was supportive and also recommended me to be firm sa panliligaw. Lakasan mo loob mo. We watched the movie Constantine.

It was a bad choice for a first-time movie date because it was a little creepy but the other choices were Tagalog movies. We did enjoy the movie and I escorted her to the FX terminal that would take her home. That evening I cried a little because I felt like the date was a big sablay, and that there would be no more chances of her being with me. But Thesis came so I was able to block out all of my emotions there.

A few weeks after that fiasco I later learned that her best friend na ka-barkada ko eh naging sila na. I was surprised about the news and at first I did not take it well. Bitter-bitter-an ako nun. I kept thinking “ tama ka nga pre, ampangit naman nya eh…” and “ loko pala sya eh, ayaw pa raw nya magka-BF tapos anong nangyari???” . I was not proud of that feeling but I had to move on. I had to accept that maybe she’s not that into me. We had some little friction pa before especially with our strong personalities. One of the good things about her relationship with my ka-barkada was she started to wear skirts and became more of a girl. We graduated and I found out that a few months after graduation, they broke up. We never knew why but I was able to find out when I was able to talk to her again over the telephone. That time I was looser and I don’t have to project an image to her. Turns out they broke up because of the usual thing men do to women. Alam nyo na yun. She also got back with her ex and they are still together after all these years. It was not something that I would approve of, I mean that’s what exes are, but what the hell. It’s her choice.

The biggest sablay that I was talking about before was when most of us have work and she texted me. Nakipag-kwentuhan sya sa akin and made a comment on my call center work. “Bakit di ka na lang mag-hanap ng trabaho na related sa pinag-aralan mo? Sayang din naman yun.”. I replied “ Ito muna yung nakuha ko eh. Darating naman tayo dyan…”. I was a little irritated about her text so I texted my best friend. Kinuwento ko yung sinabi nya sa akin at sinabi ko na epal sya. I sent it to my best friend and I was surprised that Paranaque forwarded the message to me.

I accidentally sent the message to her.

When I found out about my error I fell down on the floor and was cursing a lot. I just replied : "Well, you were not supposed to read that. ” and she never replied back. Her friends, mostly Las Pinas was texting me on how bad I am to tell her that. My barkada supported me in a manner of teaching me what to reply to her texts. Paranaque and I had a crack in our relationship and we never talked to each other.

It was only a few years that I was able to talk to her again when her mother passed away. She invited me to her wake but I had work that night so I wasn’t able to come. I was able to fix my mistake and all the bad blood was gone. She is still with her previous boyfriend, and is working at a graphic design company. We were able to meet again at a reunion and she looks happy with the choices that she made. I learned that you just have to be strong and remove all the bad energy that you may have sa panliligaw. That, and it’s best to use “codenames” sa pagte-text and to double-check who you are sending the message to.

art by Jerald Dorado, text by me

Picture Picture Picture

2011-09-19T05:00:00.000-07:00

While waiting for my brain to get set for the next "Road" post, here's some crazy-ass pictures to amuse yourself. God bless the internet for pictures like this. And porn. And "free"music.

- hot wheels made this out of an April Fools prank that collectors actually like. there really is nothing inside but they placed weights on the packaging to simulate that there is a clear-version jet.

- more blasphemous toys from an internet shop that bought us the Allah action figure.

-godzilla is a gentleman...

- how to "apple up" your cheap laptop...

- the real voltron...

- i'll never look at toothbrushes the same way again...

- cool figurine...

- cute...

- till next time!!!!

- "the king"

Click Click Click

2011-08-28T22:59:00.000-07:00

- got nothin' to do today, which is something I relish.

- wanted to buy some collectibles on my "Wish List" which I've posted on my Facebook page. Some of the items I want are:

- just took a cue from some fellow FB friends who also collect. I believe they post their most-sought -after items just so that other friends may have that said item and may want to sell it. Plus there's also a belief of mine that "if you wish/show it to others, it may come true..."

- I really appreciated a friend of mine who spread the word of my blog to his friends. I thought that it'd be right to also spread some of my peep's advocacy to you people who read this blog or just clicked at the upper-left portion of blogspot.com "Next Blog>>". Heck, I did twice or thrice.

- Very varied blog. Speaks in gay language sometimes and has a Vice Ganda sense of humor which I find very humorous. Sample dialogue: I always tell myself "How I wish I'm like them who knows how to play with words and entertain whoever gets to read it" (aside from asking, "San ba nakakabili ng creative juices, bibili ako ng 10 gallons ng mainom") =) Click here.

- Fellow officemate who has a special skill of "tracing" photographs and recoloring them to add some pizzazz (it's called vector design for boneheads) Click HERE

- my "smooth" friend's metal band. The vocalist screams a lot na medyo sabog (or it's just the closed place that they played. ) but I'm sure they would be able to tweak it once they would release an album. He even looks the part of a metal guitarist because of his long hair. Check their fan page HERE.

- If you like puns, offbeat humor and anything in between, check my colleague's blog HERE. Some of the post can be NSFW, BTW.

- my odd friend's art photos. If you want a commission or something done to your bedroom wall (he's into graffiti now ) contact him and thank me later. Oh, he's HERE.

- Lastly, my old friend's blog. Love his blog title ( i can write stuff other than source codes, y'know? ) and are mostly on his views of the day, technology talk and nostalgia. HERE he is.

- so that's it, pansit!!! Hopefully you guys would check it even for just a few minutes of your time. In closing, I want to be revered like this guy:

- or if not him, maybe him.

- "the king"

The Torpe Road Part 5

2011-08-27T05:32:00.000-07:00

Distractions can be a big pain in the ass. It can hinder your goals ( like someone inviting you to an inuman after work where you should be at home finishing some stuff from the office ) and make you falter in making an important decision ( like if you want that last piece of pizza slice, then when you already decided that you DO want it… it’s already taken by someone else. ) Such is my scenario with making another “Road” post. I mean, Facebook can be really engrossing. That, and other entertaining websites, household chores, taking care of my “collectibles” and work got most of my time. I apologize to all.

There. Now that is already behind us, let’s keep moving!!! “The Torpe Road Traveler” needs to finish the story. Incidentally, that’d be me, of course, for those not in the know. And to answer all possible questions from new readers ( kung meron man nga ) this is a journal of all the women I’ve caroused and the lessons I learned from my foibles. Or in short, mga ka-sablay-an ko sa panliligaw. Well, let’s move on.

I’m still in college, enjoying the carefree lifestyle of a Fine Arts student. Honestly, all of the art that we did, I don’t know if you would classify that as “studying”, because it seemed easy. But I did learn something from those countless hours of sitting on the cold tile floor, sketching a human model in front of us. It was also easy to spot an “inspiration” on my class because there’s a fellow student that seemed like a “crush ng bayan” that I also tried to woo…pero parang iba ang gusto nya. She will be named Bulacan.

Bulacan is small, almost 5’3 in height. She has short hair and wore braces. She has brown complexion and likes normal girl things more than my girl classmates, y’know, being “iba-ang-trip-ko-kaysa-sa-ibang-kurso-sa-college-dahil-art-student-ako”. She’s with a different group from Las Pinas but they stayed in the same dormitory so they got into the best of friends. But more on that later.

I mentioned that Bulacan was a “crush ng bayan” because madami ang nanligaw sa kanya. At isa ako dun sa pumila. I mean, she’s pretty and is very matured in thinking, which are what we as teenagers want, running solely on hormones. Looking back, we want a girl who understands our interests but does not really know it by heart. So that we can educate them to stroke our ego. Hehehe. Ngayon as a working-class male employee, we still want a very, very attractive girl and someone who can support us financially. Admit it, we all want to be slackers and just watch TV or dabble in hobbies. Like beer-brewing.

Anyway, I came last in line in trying to Bulacan. The first guy, whom I dub as “Art dude” tried his best by being with her and her group and also on drawing sessions. But him being skilled on everything art made him a bit weird for Bulacan to fall in love with. The second, “Air Man” is a friend of mine. He really became close with Bulacan and her group. I call him “Air Man” because he’s really full of it. Mayabang. I don’t know how I manage to tolerate him because his pagyayabang was so unkind and unfunny. He would insult the recent famous network games and would prefer to play a basketball game on PS2. He makes fun of music choices, people and even my favorite show at the time, Justice League cartoon as kid’s drawings. But we got along on some aspects like music and women.

I remember that he told me his “strategy” on Bulacan. They were all alone on one part of

our campus. They skipped a class and were talking and “Air Man” said “Bulacan, napapamahal ako sa yo. Di ito biro. Seryoso ako.” But in the end, she dumped him for the same lame reasons women dump men: studies and all that crap. And I believe that she prefers a guy from her hometown with lingering doubts. Third guy is my best friend in college, “Torpe 2”. He really messed up his “Game”. He was all clumsy, had our support but still got nothing. He even got a candid picture of her and planned to draw her a portrait and give it to her as a gift. Pero di na nya nagawa at grabe rin sya mag-procrastinate.

Which now brings to me. I was able to somehow make my “moves” on her because of a simple offer: since she spends her school days on a dormitory, she would go home to Bulacan on weekends or during the last day of school to meet her folks when she has the time. And she knew that I go home everyday via the LRT, or Light Railway Transit. So one day she approached me and:

Bulacan: ( my name ), di ba umuuwi ka from Monumento gamit ang LRT?

Me: Oo, bakit?

Bulacan: Sabay tayo mamaya, uuwi ako sa may amin

Me: Ah ok, sige.

In a way, she was the one who gave me the opportunity. It was a bit of luck. Now all I got to do is influence her mind to like me. But that didn’t work. But I did try. We would walk from our building to outside the University premises and take the jeepney to LRT, ride the LRT up to Monumento and accompany her on a makeshift FX terminal going to Bulacan. Our last class was in the early evening, so the LRT is packed because of people going home. Speaking of that blasted transportation, back then there were times that the LRT would have the air-conditioning on the fritz, so sobrang init sa loob. Para kang niluluto sa singaw ng mga kasama mo. So I used the power of observation to my advantage. When the LRT is approaching I would check the people inside first to see if they are fanning themselves, wiping their brow and anything that would say na naiinitan sila. It’s very useful. I sometimes wonder why people never use that in their everyday activities. Up to now I still do that, like checking the shadows and such for any sign of danger or anything that would be an advantage for me from other people.

Anyway, during that time I was with Bulacan I was able to talk to her. We talked about our subjects, what happened during the week, her so-called male “friend” from her hometown and the mind of men/women. The latter part was like a debate of sorts, but not like the almost-grueling kind with Las Pinas. In our “debate” I can always defend myself well. She always asks me about why men do this, why men do that, etc. I also ask her the same thing with her gender’s culture. I remember that she was saying that she was so confused about her feelings from her close friend and I replied with a burly voice:

Me: You women don’t know what you want. ( hand pointing to my chest ) We, we men know what we want…

I was really trying my best to keep my composure during that time because I felt that if I was smiling or acted like I was fooling around she would not believe what I was saying. I was able to hold it and somehow won the “debate”. Although there are times I would lose it when we would ride the LRT with the broken air-conditioning and I sweat a lot. I always sense that she perceives me as a very smart and mature, and hope that in the process of being with her when we are traveling together would make her forget that guy and be with me instead. Hey, stranger things have happened.

News traveled fast about our “pagsasama” and we got teased by our friends.“Air Man” kept on singing the then-famous song of singer/actress Nikki Gil’s “Sakayan ng Jeep” and changed it to “Sakayan ng FX” because that’s where we would part. In a way “Air Man n a way “Air Man” has already moved on with Bulacan and supports my pagpo-porma with Bulacan. Las Pinas (see last “Road” post ) also heard the news as well and she was the one who made me forget about her. It happened when we were talking on the phone at night.

Las Pinas: (my name), may gusto ka kay Bulacan noh?

Me: Bakit mo naman nasabi yun (at this point I was trying to be cool and try to lie out of it )

Las Pinas: Umamin ka na, alam ko na may gusto ka sa kanya…

Me: ( in my faintest voice ) Siguro…

Las Pinas: ‘Wag mo na ituloy, nakausap ko na sya nung wala kaming magawa sa dorm at nabanggit kita sa kanya na kung paano kung ikaw yung manligaw sa kanya, sabi nya parang kaibigan lang tingin nya sa ‘yo…

When I heard that from her I felt like nabagsakan ako ng mundo. Parang shet, basted nanaman ako. Wala na ba akong pag-asa?? Mga ganun But I also thought na baka niloloko lang ako ni Las Pinas dahil naseselos sya pero kapni-paniwala naman nun. Basta naniniwala naman ako sa kanya. It was that moment that I mentioned in my last “Road” post that I made a leap of faith and proposed that I and Las Pinas be together. After what I have heard I tried my best to still accompany her on our rides but Thesis came up so di na sya nakakauwi sa kanila masyado. So I traveled alone. It’s better that way. Yeah, I was “emo” before “emo” became famous.

Due to our “closeness” and as a way to make her less suspicious that I knew what she thought of me I accepted her invite to her birthday party in her hometown. Few actually went there because of how far the place is. A handful of my friends also came with me and we met up with her in a spot in North Luzon Expressway, or NLEX. She met us on her parent’s van and she was the one who drove it. I was impressed by her driving skills. The party? Not so much. I can’t

remember what we ate and entertainment was in the form of

watching Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. I wasn’t much of a fan of Potter. But I did like the twist at the end. We were about to go home since it’s almost 5pm when her friends from her place went the

re and set up speakers and musical instruments to play live music. One of her friends that I saw was her close guy friend. He looks okay, looked like an average guy. From what I’ve heard, his family owns a palayan and if I’m not mistaken, is the guy that she was talking about who only texted 5 times/ day. SUN cellular and Unlimited Texting wasn’t still invented. Cheap bastard. Nung araw na yun parang sarap nyang sapakin lang.

Graduation came and she pulled off the weirdest action ever that up to now I still think about it pero di ko pa rin maintindihan. She chose not to have a picture taken wearing a toga and to attend the Graduation practices. Dun talaga ako na-weird-duhan sa kanya. Was it traumatic for her? Is she one of those people who doesn’t give a crap about Graduation? Up to now I still think about that and wonder what she was thinking. Maybe she’s the kind who is closer with her Elementary / High school friends. Ah well.

Years gone by and judging from what I’ve seen from her Friendster and Facebook profiles, she is already married with that guy friend, has a child, working as an Animator and sidelines as a Photographer for wedding events. I believe she set up her own Photo studio with her husband on her hometown. She hardly ever shows up on reunions and small gatherings, so I still believe in my current theory. I wish her well, and thank that brief time when I was traveling, I was happy, and not alone. Yes, there would be times that you didn’t get the girl, but you’re happy with what she gave you even if it’s not what you wanted. She taught me that.

art by Jerald Dorado, text by me.

Write Now...

2011-07-27T02:12:00.000-07:00

-rainy days are here again, although not sure if this is relevant to what I'm posting here.

-Aw, heck. most of what I would write here doesn't have a central theme, except for my "Torpe Road" series.

- I know, I know, I should already be finishing it by now, but I need some inspiration. Sometimes I feel like when I write that kind of post I need 110% of brain working, because not only do I need to make it witty, I also need to remember some events that are 5 years old.

- the saddest part is when I would post the "Road" entry here that is almost 4 pages long I feel it is under appreciated. *cue song "All By Myself" *

- it's like my Thesis defense back in college. I worked hard on the book supporting my Thesis painting but the professors/judges nary flipped the book and instead ranted on my painting. Ah well. Ganyan talaga buhay.

- don't worry, I'll start again in the near future , given some time and lots of Smart-C. (love that drink!!)

-emo stuff and shameful advertising aside, there's a lot on TV that I love to watch, like even though I'm old enough, I still get a kick out of watching animated cartoons, like Johnny Test and the new Bob's Burgers.

- having watched an episode of Hell's Kitchen as well, I'm surprised that Gordon Rameses isn't s dead from his potty mouth and insulting contestants.

-someone had a kick at the unearthed web pictures so I thought of doing another set. Here goes:

- don't know if this is true, but it feels like what the country China would do.

- this is pretty funny. Just shows that super-powered beings are no match on the arm of the Law.

- you think you got a BIGGER collection??? wala ka dito.

- someone's selling this 1982 Voltes V for 50,000php. check it here.

-one word. TITTIES. check her deviantart page here. (due to NSFW environment, you need to have an account to view the steamy pictures.)

-"the king"

Off-Topic...

2011-07-10T16:19:00.000-07:00

- To the followers of this blog or to someone who knows my quirks, I'm guessing they really expect this hiatus from me.

- I know it's unforgiving, and I'm expecting to finish my "Torpe Road" entry by this year, but well... I gots lazy. (grammar error intended)

- Of course I always blame work, and there's Toycon fever, Facebook and fixing my ever-growing collectibles.

- I may need a muse to make my gears work overtime. Preferably of 36-38-34 vital stats. And oh, must also be a woman. Like this chick:

- Speaking of chick, I recently watched Transformers: Dark of the Moon and it was god-awful. The action dragged on, the robots were, as this guy has well-said: " the Transformers continue to serve more as plot devices than actual characters that you know and love."

- I wish I could find the director (Michael Bay) and kick him

in the nuts. I wish they would be able to fix it. Maybe cast Christopher Nolan (Batman Begins, The Dark Knight, Inception) as a director, hmmm?

- Fast Five, or Fast and the Furious: Rio Heist was one of the big surprises this year. The story was simple but the pacing of the story was not bogged down by unnecessary

action (I'm looking at you, Dark of the Moon) I especially liked the last 15-20 minutes of the movie. They have plans to make a sixth sequel by next year. And I hope they would include this car:

- Hahaha, 57 Chevy fo' Life!!!!

- Anyway, here are some images I stumbled on the net that are on the category of weird/downright funny/cool.

- this what that large multi-colored construction robot from the

second Transformers movie should look like.

- Buddha with a Gatling Gun? Jesus with a cross-shaped axe? These are playing pieces for a board game called Playing Gods: The Board Game of Divine Domination. Check out the official website:

- Lastly, check this out. If you know Muslim religion, you would get this pic.

- See you all, 'till next post, hopefully not will take a while....

- "the king"

Strayin' A Little Bit Off the Road...

2011-05-05T02:27:00.000-07:00

- Still lazy to write a new "Road" entry but want to say a bunch of stuffs.

- I was a little inspired by this site on this kind of set-up.

- So you could say this is like another "Pit Stop" but it's like I just took a quick leak.

- So, there are a bunch of collectibles that I want to buy, like these:

- Saw them on eBay and the net, but I'd prefer finding one in person on GreenHills or any upcoming Toy Convention held this May ( there are a few, actually)

- Sometimes I think of the collectors (me included) on buying a boxed or still-in-packaging toy and never opening it. They'd just display it on their case hoping that it'd fetch big bucks in the future. Parang bumili ka pa eh di mo naman pala bubuksan? Eh di sana di mo na lang binili at sayang lang din. Magmumukha ka lang na maliit na toy shop...

- Ouch. I feel like talking to myself din. Anyway, I got one of the most harshest criticism ever on this blog. She said that s

he finds my posts boring because puro English. I do

appreciate the honesty din, but it hurt my ego a little bit.

- She does have a point, but I will still continue to write in English because I can express more in this manner.

- And, I will still write here kahit konti lang nagbabasa... *sniff*

- Bakit ganun? Mga walang kwentang post ng ibang tao andaming nag-ko-comment? e.g. " OMG I just had shrimp terayaki for lunch!!!1!! Super LUOORVEEE ko xa!!!! XD" followed by at least 30-50 replies....

- Gimme a break.... Or, bigyan nyo ako ng break... Hey, I'm an attention whore. I just have this mentality na on the internet people will be able to hear what you're saying... It's just that there people who prefer not to reply. Hey, ganun din naman ginagawa ko eh...

- Today I also feel tired. Inaantok ako, kaso pag matutulog na ako nawawala bigla. Hopefully I'll make up all the lost sleep later.

- Anyway, here's a random pic of a hot chick I dug up on deviantart, she looks like a 50's chick with lotsa tattoos. here is the rest of the pictures.

- well, that's all, time to walk again...

The Torpe Road Part 4

2011-04-28T01:26:00.000-07:00

Welcome back to the “Road”!!! Granted, it took a while for me to write again, but we do have our conflicts. And besides, admit it or not, sometimes it’s a lot better to slack around than do something strenuous. We always hold off on things that we can do immediately. That’s the power of procrastination. It almost has the same influence as a grade school or High school kid discovering that he/she has no classes due to the weather. I miss the feeling

when just when I was about to get up from my bed to prepare to go to school my mother would tell me that classes got suspended from what she has heard on the radio. I would usually just turn around the side of my bed and sleep for an additional 1-2 hours. Life was pretty easy back then.

Now that I am working, those things are already a memory. You could still choose not to go to work if you know how to make an excuse or even make some fever-like mannerisms, but you could get sanctioned. That’s why there is Sabado Nights. At least you could still slack around a bit. Maybe hook up with a chick if you can. Ahhh, chicks. In high school we were given few options since our school was an exclusive all-boys before and when it became co-ed there were few women to ogle at. In college they were everywhere. It was like a carinderia. Madaming magpipilian. And so during that time I had a hand with a woman, who was all over me, but I refused. She will be named Las Pinas.

It was college. Luckily, I just spent the standard years there without taking summer classes or becoming an irregular student, or irreg for short. An irregular student is, by definition, a student that is taking few classes one seminar at a time. There are people like those because some are already working or kulang sa pera. It’s hard being an irreg because you feel left out with the younger classmates. Either way, on college there was a lot of freedom given.

I was playing my PS2, Counter-Strike, Battle Realms and DotA. I never really like DotA and Battle Realms since they take a while for the battles to heat up, but I had no choice since my barkada plays them. Wala akong choice kungdi laruin din yun at pag-tyagaan yung pag-le-level up. We were able to do those a lot since classes were pretty hassle-free. I took Fine Arts major in Painting at the time because I wanted to learn something new and explore my “artistic license”, so to speak. I mean, an ordinary school day is 5 hours of painting or drawing a human figure then 3-4 hours of either English, Mathematics or Theology class. Super-petix mode kami nun. Nahirapan lang kami nung last year na namin because we had to make and defend our Thesis. It was a solo work compared to a group effort so puyatan talaga. I would remember making a 12-ft. tall painting along with a 150-200 page book detailing the painting and my research. Man, it was tough.

Anyway, going back to my “endeavors”, in our University there were a lot of chicks nga, especially in Commerce course. There was even a place near the chapel and open field where we would sit on the stone benches and ogle at the fine women. I dubbed it the “Chick Road” and it clicked with my barkada. We would usually text “Uy, meet tayo sa Chick Road mamaya.” That was my biggest contribution to my group. Unfortunately, most of my barkada were also torpe. Puro sa tingin lang kami. Although I tried to court nursing student Qatar ( check Part 3 for more details ) I never summoned enough courage to approach or talk to someone outside our class. I should note that only a few of us were pretty shy withwomen. Some of mybarkada were matinik sa babae. But my closest friends? Wala, we were not Jersey Shore material.

But given the experiences that I had with the women in my High school and a way to start a new leaf because of a new set of people, friends and women, I’ve decided then to be more confident and befriend the opposite sex. I figure doing that will go a long way. Maybe someone will fall for me, or refer me to her friend. I was really ambitious, but it worked. I managed to talk to our female classmates and get close to some of them.

It was also during that time that I really became close to a female body. No, not a strip club, but I did went to one (but that’s another story) I became close in a way that I saw breasts, butts and curves thanks to FHM Magazine Philippines edition. Granted, I already saw nakedness in print form when I stumbled into my dad’s old Playboy Magazines but I was young. I wasn’t aware much of the female body and its workaround. I mean, I thought that kissing someone

in the lips is already sex. I fondly remember buying my first FHM: it was the June 2002 with the Sexbomb Girls on the cover. I bought that because there is the accompanying leaflet of the 100 sexiest women in the world. So besides the titillating pictures on the main magazine, there are also lots of pictures of different women on the leaflet. I remember skimming through the content and I masturbated to images of the still-new Jen Rosendahl. I mean, she had huge knockers. I originally plan on buying just the January (for the free calendar) and June (for the 100 sexiest supplement) of FHM, but I got hooked. I would always look for the new issue and buy it if the cover girl is attractive. Man, everybody fondly remembers the first time they bought an FHM.

Hot chicks aside, one of the classmates I got close to was Las Pinas. She was a few inches shorter than me, short hair, a little plump and has dark skin. She’s a little strange sometimes (more on that later) but nonetheless she was very nice to me and my barkada. She can be vocal at times. There was one time where we were waiting for our Professor to arrive at the studio that we did a little “debate”: to see who is better, the man or the woman. Of course, me and a couple of friends represented the man, she and a couple of friends represented the woman. I pointed out that women can be indecisive and moody. On the other hand they pointed out that men are so quiet and would prefer to be with his friends than his girlfriend. The “debate” almost got ugly but it was fun. I learned a lot on how women think. Most especially on how Las Pinas thinks. I mean, she’s really smart and can paint well.

There were times that I would separate myself from my group while we were sketching a live model and get to her set of friends and talk to her. That, and also borrow an eraser or a pencil from her. We talk a lot about stuff, like men being jerks, our family and TV shows. We would then laugh about everything and I felt content that I was talking to girls and I have removed my shyness. Las Pinas helped me with that. One of my professors noticed us and teased us as well as our class. It can be awkward at times pero nararamdaman ko na may feelings sya sa akin. I mean, we clicked together. I even called her my soul mate. I remember in a comic strip that this guy’s definition of a soul mate is someone who can finish the other’s sentences and knows what the other is thinking. Even though there are other ways to define a soul mate, I pondered on that comic strip and accepted that artist’s definition. She liked, for me, the fact I called her my soul mate. But, she’s not my type.

I know that beggars cannot be choosers, but I just accepted her as a friend. She can be weird at times. When I would text her sometimes she would reply “Hehehehehehe…” and parang lahat ng ginagawa mo may ibig sabihin sa kanya. I fear that if I would court her and we would go steady she would always bother me with nonsensical texts and kung anu-ano iisipan nya. At di sya sexy. I know it’s really unfair, pero I had a philosophy na “lagi ko na ngang nakikita sa bahay nanay at ate ko na mataba, pati ba naman girlfriend ko mataba??? ” which I still follow up to this day. It’s like if your vital stats are not those of a beauty queen, or at least close to it, wala, “Hi friend” na lang tawag ko sa yo. Yeah, I’m a beggar that chooses. Pake mo?

But even if I have no interest on her whatsoever, she helped me, and in turn I helped her too. There was this time that she had a feud with one of her best friends and she gave Las Pinas a crumpled letter. The letter read that she doesn’t want to be her friend anymore. Girls can be cruel. I comforted her and she was able to vent out her frustrations on me. There was also one time that I wanted to talk to her on the phone so I called her up and a family member

answered it and he called Las Pinas. I was shocked that she talked to me and it’s like she was panicking. Heck, it seems like she was hyperventilating. Parang madami syang gustong sabihin sa akin. I calmed her down and she was able to speak at a normal pace. Then at our annual University Christmas celebration she gave me a letter. Some parts of it read:

Ei… soulm8! Hello poh! Ok na poh me… di naman halata na di ako ok kc taba pa rinakoh… hehe. Thanks for being there…thank you poh talaga…Flash back lahat ng nangyari pus bigla mong nahulaan problema koh…kaya pala soulm8 kita lam mo lahat! Hehehe… Nga pala pasensia ka na kung medjo tinatago ko pa sayo pati pag-iyak ko kahit obvious… nahihiya lang me… tulad ngayon… nahihiya ako sayo…pasencia na ha…medyo magulo at ang daming iniisip ng utak koh. Minsan nga parang bigla na lang sasabog…hay…nahihiya lang ako kc baka isipin mo mahina ako, tanga…etc…pasencia na talaga. Gusto ko pang makipagkwentuhan sayo pero ikaw naman magkwento. Thanks for the time ha. Sana lagi kang andyan para kung gusto kong umiyak ulet…may magsesermon sakin. Hehehe…Enjoy ko pohmakipagkwentuhan sayo…Salamat poh talaga ng marami…ingatz lage…ditto lang poh me if you need me… God Bless

It was nice to be cherished by an opposite sex. I mean, I rarely get that, save my mother, of course. The same cannot be said for this one girl that I wanted to court (which I will give a name on the next “Road”) where I learned from Las Pinas that she has no interest on me. I mean, she just looked at me as a “friend” lang. I heard this from her over the phone that night. I was on our living room and everybody on our house retired on their beds. I was so aggravated at the world that I made a leap of faith:

Me: Las Pinas, bakit di na lang maging tayo?

Las Pinas: Ha?? Anong pinagsasabi mo?

Me: Wala, bakit di natin subukan?

Las Pinas: Ano ba yang pinagsasabi mo, (my name), gulo lang utak mo, itulog mo na lang yan.

You know, I thought during that time that she would say yes. Magulo lang talaga utak ko nun, di ko lang lubos na matanggap na magiging single ako forever. I guess she thought it would be a bad idea ( which it really is) to put together a relationship based on a spur-of-the-moment. After a few days I shrugged off of what happened that night and became distracted with DotA and making paintings (or what we would call “plates”).

But count it to old faith as it was the Holy Week that time and me and my family went out to a one-of-a-kind Visita Iglesia where we went to different Churches on the outskirts of the Philippines. We were going home then when she texted me. At first it was just small talk until she replied:

Las Pinas: ( my name ), naalaala mo pa ba yung tinanong mo sa akin dati?

Me: Oo, bakit?

Las Pinas: Oh, try nga natin.

Me: Ha???

I chuckled out loud at what she texted me. It seems that she’s aggravated at the world. Throughout that time I had no interest in accepting her offer because I just wanted to finish my Thesis next semester and I’m preparing my body for all the workload I’ll go through. So women can wait. I’m looking ahead for work life since I would have some more free time and more money to buy things I wanted (which got me into a full-fledged spree collecting toys). Anyway, I declined her offer and we graduated not as a couple, but as a fellow classmate.

Years have gone by and we went on our separate ways. I worked at a call center (I would like to note that I still got in touch with my passion for the Arts by joining an Independent Comic group, which is my first Love, and blogging ) and she pursued her passion for the arts by becoming an Art teacher at her High School. She had a handful with the students because she is teaching First Year to Fourth Year sections. Siguro kulang sa pera yung Alumni nya to get more teachers. I remember that I saw her again at a small reunion in a famous mall and she had eye bags as black as a mole. But all

her hard work paid off as she passed her board exam and got her license to teach recently. Good for her, at least she gets a little bit more on her paycheck. From what I’ve seen on her FaceBook profile she is in a relationship with her childhood friend and occasionally meeting with her college barkada. Up to now we were still teased and I still feel up to now she has feelings for me. Kapal ng mukha ko, oo, pero we men have that intuition.

So what have I learned here? It seems that there are people who chose to be single by choice. Even if there are some that fall for them, that person will still sift through the choices given to him/her and wait or pick someone they would much prefer. That person feels that life will give him/her something better if you just wait a little bit more. And if you just wait, you’ll get your just rewards. So wag mo na pakialaman mga ganun, di mo naman problema/buhay yun eh.

The Torpe Road (Pit Stop)

2011-04-07T02:23:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I've posted something here, but I am a writer, and I do have my moods (palusot!!)

Well, actually, I have internet problem (in short, walang load) and I do have a hard time writing what with my call-center lifestyle of "kain-tulog-idlip-nuod-ng-konting-TV-pikit-ng-konti-ang-mga-mata-pahinga" ek-ek... So my rest days are wasted on FB and writing more of my past. And oh, manual labor.

So here is a "pit stop" to sate your appetite while waiting for the next "Road" (soon, I promise) heck, I might even do more of this since I could post my playlists when I was young, post some excerpts from my "journal" that I'm writing on for 4 years or anything in between...

Anyway, here some music I am listening to get myself in the mood for being the "Lonely Torpe Traveler"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-WUpL1RORs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWNRUVMboq4

here is also something that I really love to listen back in highschool.. .it was a treat to download this on my laptop recently.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkS-QKaI-0w

here is also something that I associated this song when New

Zealand broke my heart... I remember that I cried to this once...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz-NhGanOAE

And the ultimate anthem for the Torpe:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Une3L86kKk8

As a parting shot, here are some images I've edited using PhotoShop (model is Jahziel Manabat, Premiere Condoms Model Contestant) Like her on FaceBook, http://www.facebook.com/pageofjahzielmanabat:

The Torpe Road (Part 3)

2011-03-21T03:32:00.002-07:00

Welcome back to the third part of the “Road”. First off, I’d like to thank all the people who read and enjoyed the last two posts regarding about my past heartbreaks and letdowns. I’ve had a lot I should’ve changed this instead to “The Loser Road.” But when you think about it, almost all of us had a fair share of failures where it changed you entirely or it made you stronger. I mean, because of it, you made a smash-hit song ( like the case with Jimmy Bondoc or Ogie Alcasid ) or painted masterpieces ( like with Vincent Van Gogh ) or made an influential comic ( like with Gerry Alanguilan ). But enough with the history. But hey, you got to thank me forgiving a little bit of trivia. Who knows when the answers to the questions in a game show you’ve joined are those that I’ve mentioned? But moving forward, this is about a girl that got away; the girl that probably will be mine but I got stupid. My first (and probably last) textmate, to whom we will call Qatar.

It was the year 2000. I was a third year high school student who loves Anime and drawing comics. The comedy part of GMA-7’s Bubble Gang “Ang Dating Doon” was pretty famous that they have a theme song and a catchphrase (remember “ALIEN?” “ALIEN.”) I also remember that there still wasn’t channel Animax yet so most of the Anime shows I watched are on AXN and GMA-7. AXN even has an annual Anime 12-hour Marathon that I always keep a close watch on. Today they make Marathons every other week or so (like the case with Star World on America’s Next Top Model or ETC on GLEE.). On my reasonable allowance I was also able to buy some stuff. One of the stuff I buy on a monthly basis back then was an Anime magazine named Questor: The Ultimate Anime Magazine. It was based on an old magazine back in the 70’s that the editorial team has revived. They have sections on everything Anime. Looking back, the magazine was okay. If you have internet access you could’ve gotten all the info that they’ve featured there. The comic was also crappy. The articles were full of those irritating emoticons. But it was that magazine that I met Qatar.

It was Volume 2 Number 7, which had a cover of Toguro smashing Eugene on the ground of Ghost Fighter fame that I skimmed through the letters section and saw a parting shot of the managing editor of the Letters section saying “ Nice to know you found new friends [a nickname]. By the way, others have followed your lead. [two email addresses] would like to hear from you guys via email. =^_^=” As soon as I read that part, I got myself thinking, “Hmmm… bakit hindi? Wala naman mawawala sa ‘kin… try ko na rin. “ I was rather new to the internet, but I knew the dangers of it. I knew the spam emails and the people who wanted to befriend you but have different motives. Being aware of those I decided to just go with it and picked one email from the two that seemed “safe” and appealing. I typed my name, age and something regarding about her request on the magazine and sent it to Qatar. A few days later she shot back a reply. I was thrilled. The messages continued for some time with emails containing things about our interests and where we study, etc. I also quickly knew that she is a year older than me but that was never a hindrance. There’s even an email where she showed her talent on making poems.

Fast forward a few years and New Zealand and Valenzuela City came. I was at first do not have plans on making the moves on Qatar since exchanging emails can be rather slow. I sent her a message asking for her celfone number. Sure enough, she sent her number and I saved it on my phone. The “getting-to-know” part got a lot easy because replying was quicker. You don’t have to refresh the page on your computer to know that you got new mail. I was also thrilled with one of her texts before that I had new hope on college:

Me: Ay, Qatar, saan ka ba nag-aaral?

Qatar: Sa [a famous University], Nursing kinukuha ko…

Me: Ay ganun ba? Dun din ako mag-aaral eh. Hahahaha…

Qatar: Talaga? Buti naman kung ganun…

When I read that text message I was pretty lucky to know her as she is also studying at the same University and meeting her for a quick chat or a pseudo-date would be easier. Yeah, I was one of those people who want to be several steps ahead of a certain position. So then I made a “ bet” on her. In other words, “binangko” ko sya. I said, “ pwede si [Qatar]. Kahit di ko pa nakikita sya sa personal close na rin kami. Pwede ko syang ligawan.” It was also during that time that I was with Valenzuela City. I was having feelings for her, and at the same time I was falling for Qatar. I know it sounds childish and foul, but I was really new to this courting thing, and besides, di ko pa naman sila jowa so okey lang din mamili kahit paano. But faith can be playful at times as deciding who to “court” got simple as to what happened to Valenzuela City (check Part 2 for more details.) Honestly, I was ready to court Valenzuela City and (perhaps) leave Qatar altogether if she didn’t do that stupid stunt. Anyway, I graduated from High School and at one time I almost thought I would finally meet up with Qatar at an Anime Convention (one of the first in the country, I might add) that she backed out. She said she was busy with something so we can’t meet. I was disappointed but I still enjoyed the sights that day.

It was right through that instance that I asked what she looked like. It’s a very funny story, read on:

Me: Qatar, tanong ko lang, sinong kamukha mo?

Qatar: Uhhmm.. sabi ng mga kaibigan ko na kamukha ko raw yung batang version ni Claire Dela Fuente. Eh ikaw ?

Me : Well, sabi nila kamukha ko si Mike Shinoda ng Linkin Park…

I know that it’s pretty far-fetched, but if you look hard enough, I do look like the famous singer of the Nu-Rock band. Back then, we both have same nature with styling our hair, minus the goatee and I was 50-70 pounds lighter. It was a pretty hard gamble, but it paid off in a way. So wag nang kumontra, sapakin ko kayo eh..Thanks also to our constant texting (one time I was even texting her while I was eating lunch at home) that we developed a term of endearment for each other. That was also my first, so it was pretty memorable. She called me Keiichi, since I have told her that I love the Anime Ah! My Goddess and that was the name of the lead male character in the series. I was thinking of something to call her, I just looked up a Japanese word and called her Kunoichi. She then replied:

Qatar: Ano yung Kunoichi?

Me: Japanese word yun for female ninja. (FYI, Shinobi is the word for a male ninja).

Qatar: Yun na lang tawagan mo sa akin, since katunog nya Keiichi. Hehe.

Me: Sige ba. Hehe…

I also had an opportunity on talking to her on the phone when she gave me her landline

number. I called her at night and since we had a wireless phone, I often talked to her at places in our house that is quiet. I finally heard her voice and she sounded sweet. One funny instance that I did was while I was talking to her, I felt the urge to pee. Sensing that I don’t want to lose the “feel” of the conversation, I talked to her even while I was peeing on our toilet. I made sure that my trail of urine would not hit the toilet water so she would not get turned off and suspect that I was relieving myself. Not sure if she did notice it, but she didn’t brought it up during the entire conversation so it was fine, although I’m sure the echo in the background because of the bathroom tiles could be a dead giveaway.

Anyway, luck finally caught up with me as I was able to meet up with her. I was going to be interviewed at the University as it is one of the requirements for enrolling there. I asked if she would like to meet up, “EB” or “eyeball” as she has said and she agreed. I also asked for my sister’s companionship on my trip to the University since I’m still rather new at commuting. Can’t really remember what the questions are, and I didn’t care much since I was really looking forward to meeting with Qatar. She asked me to text her when I’m already finished and she gave out a description of what she’s wearing so I could notice her immediately. We were supposed to meet at a car park near the building that I got interviewed and said she was wearing a red shirt.

I noticed her right away. She was of average height, pretty slim, straight hair of shoulder length (but she tied it in a ponytail fashion on that day) and has a dark complexion. I approached her and we “dated” on a nearby mall. I say “dated” because my sister also accompanied us there. I know it’s a big no-no for “EBs” but she wasn’t much of a nuisance, plus I wasn’t ready on those kinds of dates where I was “ridin’ solo” so I appreciated her being there. Qatar was very nice to me and she was the one who usually brings up a subject for us to talk about. We watched “ICE AGE” and I could’ve made those “moviehouse moves”, like the “mag-iinat-na-kunwari-inaantok-tapos-biglang-akbay-sa-kanya” or “tipong-nalalamigan-ka-ba?-sabay-hawak-sa-hita-nya-with-matching-himas-pa-para-kunwari-pinapainitan-sya”. Yeah, style ng mga bulok, but I never did those since I’m Torpe and I’m with my sister. Too bad we didn’t take a Neoprint picture during that time to preserve the meories.

We were able to meet up again between the texting and one phone call on my first week as a college student, or freshman as often called, during those orientations-slash-festivals to make us freshman comfortable and be aware of the sights and attractions of the University. I remember that I want to meet Qatar again and she agreed. I almost backed out since I was sweating like crazy and I don’t want her to see me in that condition. Still, I took the opportunity and we met at a place in the University that I was not yet familiar with so I asked someone for directions. When I walked there a woman stood up and smiled. It’s a good thing she recognized with my uniform since she looked a little different while wearing her Nurse uniform. She looks beautiful. I mean, I’m a sucker for women in uniform so I was dazed when I saw her again. We talked about college life and her duty on the hospital. I gave her a keychain as a little gift that I bought 2 months ago. Can’t remember what it is, but I think it’s a Spongebob Squarepants mini-figure since she loves the show. She liked it and said that it goes well with her apron on her uniform. Flattery can get you anywhere since I was touched by what she said. A fellow classmate also saw us during that time and I thought to myself I have bragging rights now that someone saw me with a girl. It’s like a fresh new start for building my “cred” at school. Yeah, that's how I measured it back then.

We met up again a few weeks ago and I was with my barkada, and she was with her barkada as well. We met at a nearby Jollibee store and talked about stuff, like how their mammoth books costs and their medical equipment. One really, really funny incident that happened during that time was with my best friend. I wasn’t really yet aware of those “kikindat-sa-yo-sabay-sesenyas-na-aalis- na-para-smooth-exit-para-di-nakakahiya-sa-kinakausap-mo” moments, so I was surprised when he texted me saying he has to leave and we have to make an excuse or alibi for him to leave the place. Instead I said:

Me: Pare, ikaw itong nag-text ah..

My Friend: Ah, eh, oo nga… sige aalis na ko. Me pupuntahan pa ko. Sige!!!

It was really funny. I was so naïve back then. I remember my friend saying to me after a few days: “Putang-ina, ang tanga-tanga mo. Bobo!!!!” Even a few years has passed we were still bringing that incident up and I can’t help but laugh about it.

We were able to meet up a couple of times during the first few weeks of college, like the time I accompanied her to buy a ping-pong paddle for her P.E., when she was preparing for her duty so I had to wait at the lobby in her dorm and when she had a hard time making a request to update her name plate since she has two Middle initials.I mentioned all of our meet-ups because that’s all the time I had with her. Qatar became immersed in her studies and I was also adjusting to college life as well. Whenever I would text her she wouldn’t reply or she would say “busy ako sa studies eh. Sorry…” I just shrugged her off and I became busy with girl-watching and playing network games like Counter-Strike with my barkada. It was 3 years later that I met her again unexpectedly at our annual University year-end festival. She was the one who first noticed me and it took a second or two for me to recognize her since it was really out of the blue. We talked a little and she introduced me to her boyfriend at that time. (cue audience track AAAAAWWWWWW…)

Qatar became one of the few girls that I courted that I’ve added to

my Friendster and Facebook profile so I was able to know her status even if I still don’t see her personally. From what I’ve seen on her pictures, (yeah, I’m a stalker, Pake mo???) she graduated a few years ago and has worked as a nurse at the operating room (not sure if that is one of the higher positions in being a nurse, but that is pretty impressive, to say the least.) in a famous hospital. She broke up with her boyfriend that I met before and is currently engaged (cue again : AWWWWWW) with her present boyfriend and she is working in Qatar. Hopefully the recent escalations that are happening in the Middle-Eastern countries won’t affect that place. Honestly, I wish her well on her future and it was nice that I’ve met her, even for a short period of time.

So kids, the moral of the story? Be persistent. Eyes on the prize, and all that stuff. If she’s worth something, fight for it.

The Torpe Road (Part 2)

2011-03-07T19:34:00.001-08:00

Here we are again with my second part of my memoirs. After I posted that first part I really felt nostalgic, not just from New Zealand, but from High School life in particular. Granted it’s not really fuzzy at times (what with the bullying and such) but those are the times where you really “find” yourself. I like remembering it again after all these years.

There are also some questions that were raised after I posted the first part. One, will these women file a case of libel on me? Maybe. But I wouldn’t be scared with those or other kinds of threats from the women I’ve written these memoirs on or their respective boyfriends (I’ve had one a few years ago. How did it go? Let’s just say she’s not my friend in Facebook anymore.) I mean, it’s not like I’m talking about our dirty deeds, bedroom moves and performances. This is the Torpe Road. I would be really surprised if there would be news of some of these women spreading news like “Maliit titi ni (my name)” or “Mabilis syang labasan!!!”. Dude, mas maniniwala pa ako if the news is “Mabaho hininga nyan” or “Me balakubak siya!!!”. Second, yes, I want this to be published in hard copy if given the chance. I’d like to earn some cash besides from my main job. And lastly, I want to be famous because of this. So famous that I can be a guest judge in ABS-CBN’s Showtime. I can see it now:

Me: HEELLLLOOOOOWWWWW MADDDLAAAANNNNGGG PIIIPPOOOLLLL!!!!!

Audience: SAMPOL!!!! SAMPOL!!! SAMPOL!!! SAMPOL!!!!

Me: Eto, joke na lang. Anong baril ang mas malakas pa sa kanyon ???

Audience : ANO !!!!????

Me : Eh di GUN-dam!!! Hahahahaa !!!

Audience : COMMENT NA LANG !!! COMMENT NA LANG!!!!

(followed by judge Vice Ganda’s insults)

I’m getting way over my head there. Let’s just move on to the continuation of the story. So there it was, New Zealand said no to my request. It was sad, sure. But it was also during that time that I met her best friend, to which we shall call Valenzuela City.

Valenzuela City is not someone I will make a double-look at. She’s a few inches shorter than New Zealand, has short, black hair and somewhat thick eyebrows. She has front buck teeth and a little singkit. Granted these descriptions will turn off any guy. But during that time I don’t have plans to court her. One thing led to another, though. Keep reading…

When I tried to court New Zealand I was already introduced to Valenzuela City by her. Throughout the time I have no interest in her and she’s one of the “friends-na-dapat-kaibiganin-para-pumogi-ako-kay-New-Zealand” schtick. She’s with us during breaks and I always saw her at the back of our school because that’s where most of the School Services are. What’s amazing is how some of these Services have evolved. Back then any mode

of transportation can be a School Service: L300, FX, Jeepney or even Tricycle (in public schools) and there isn’t much steel railings to stop a kid from sticking his/her arm out on the road. Nowadays the School Service can be illustrated as a Yellow FX or L300 with the words “SCHOOL SERVICE” painted on the side with some black, vertical lines as well. There would also be the occasional name of the associated school painted as well. And then the windows will be really wrapped in steel railings. Makes the kids look like inmates. Don’t know if there are other School Services that don’t follow this now; I have yet to check it.

Anyway, it was at that place that I managed to talk to her really good. During that day we entertained a large group of “Less Unfortunate People” or in layman’s term, “Iskwaters” at our school. They divided them for each of our section to make them happy and give small prizes. It was our school’s way of being charitable. Our section made used of my “rapping abilities” again to entertain them. In truth (again) I was singing to a song of Linkin Park and I was really out of breath. So I saw her standing near the gates of our school, near a spot that sells bootleg toys and items (I’m guilty of looking and buying a few) since that’s where Elementary School is. I saw her and:

Me: Uy, Valenzuela City, musta??

Valenzuela City: Eto, okay lang. Kapagod din kanina.

Me: Oo nga eh. Pinakanta nanaman ako.

Valenzuela City: Talaga? Haha…

Me: Eh ikaw? Anong ginawa nyo?

Valenzuela City: Ayun, nag-game kami na parang Pera O Bayong. Ako yung me hawak-hawak ng isang letra. Muntik na akong malaglag dahil sumusugod sila sa akin.

Me: Hahaha, buti di ka napa-ano…

Then the conversation just went on for a couple of minutes and I learned that she likes to watch Anime. I said to myself, “Ayus. Me kausap din ako tungkol dun.” Usually our conversation goes on for a while until my School Service is ready to leave because the Elementary Kids are already out from school.

The next day goes on and I chatted with her again. This goes on for a while that to remedy my often-sudden departure and cutting our conversation short, I opted to not ride our Service and commute instead. For me, it was very sweet of me to do that because I really wanted to talk to her. Even though I feel that she is left out in her Section and our batch. You see, our batch teases her at her back “Kalawang” because of her bad breath. You know teenagers. We can be so cruel. Why, one female classmate was suspected of having dark armpits. But honestly, I never notice it when I talked to Valenzuela City. I really enjoyed her company.

It was those times with her where I saw compassion and acceptance where I didn’t get much (or none at all) when I courted New Zealand. Take, for instance, our Senior Prom. After I danced with New Zealand, I danced with Valenzuela City. I placed both of my hands on her hips and I remember singing along to a South Border song. She also sung along with me. Looking back, it felt stupid. But hey, it’s High School. We were even texting each other, complementing on how good we looked even before the dance floor was laid for us. She was also the one who appreciated my “demonic rapping” at our School Function. We even texted a lot and this is where I polished my texting habit. I would not leave a lot of vowels out and I always include [… ] to my texts.

There was even this part where she gave me one of her Graduation pictures. Back then, your School “cred” was measured by how many Graduation pics you can get from the opposite sex and how many you also gave. Sadly, I only got at least 3 out of a possible 30+ female students. One of the people who didn’t gave me her pic is who else? New Zealand!!! I tried to convince her to give me a pic but she really hesitated. Her alibi is “Madami akong bibigyan sa pamilya ko”. I hated her for that. So Valenzuela City was really kind to me.

On the short period that I was with her I actually developed feelings for her. But being the Torpe that I am, I didn’t know how to express them without me bumming out. And besides, I don’t know what will happen to us if ever we will be together, being that we might be going to different Universities. So I just buried that feeling under me and just talked about stuff and Anime.

It was near the end of the School year that she gave me a small letter folded and stapled. It was cut from a purple folder. I was surprised about it and I asked:

Me: Ano ito?

Valenzuela City: Basta. Wag mo munang buksan hanggang nakauwi ka na.

I obliged, of course. On the way home as I rode a public jeepney I opened the letter and it read:

U must not be expecting me to write you a letter. I was doing this to express what I want to say. First, I wanna say all my thanks to you, for being there, for listening to me, for taking time, for the understanding, for the care and for everything…in short for being my friend.

I wanted to tell you that I still wanna spend my life hanging around with you. Kung pwede nga lang I could spend the last moment with you habang I am still here. There are so much I wanted to say, so much I wanted to share, that’s why I hate it whenever you would leave me. I still wanna say stay with me ‘coz I still wanna be with you for the last time. I still not yet ready to leave you. I’m just telling you what I feel.

Anyway, I wish you all the happiness in life even kahit wala na ako or di na tayo nagkikita. Ganito lang me ngayon, this is the way how I say goodbye to you.

P’ano ba yan… Graduation na? I will surely miss you. Before I shall let you go, one thing I wanted to tell you is that I LOVE YOU as a friend as we were now.

I havta tell you something important. I have fallen in love with you but I think there’s no sense for me to tell you how I loved you… you might not appreciate ‘coz it’s goodbye now. I waited for you, I’m sorry it’s too late! I mean if ever you have feelings for me too long naman. I’m not quite sure. I can’t figure you out sometimes...

It’s up to you what it’s gonna be but for me, I’ll stay as if I have said nothing… OK?

Godspeed,

Valenzuela City

I remember that feeling that day. When I read the second-to-the-last paragraph I stopped and held my head upwards and closed my eyes. I thought, “Shet. Ang tanga-tanga ko.” That evening I called her on their landline using our wireless phone. I was at our front yard, and I said to her:

Me: Valenzuela City, nabasa ko na yung sulat mo…

Valenzuela City: Hm.

Me: I-try natin…

Valenzuela City: Try yung ano?

Me: Sabi mo ako na bahala. Try natin ito. Tayong dalawa…

I can’t remember much about what transpired on that phone call but I vividly remember that I asked her out to for a date at Ever Gotesco Mall in Caloocan. I plan on maybe go window-shopping since she likes Barbie dolls; eat at a restaurant and a movie. I don’t know what I plan to get out of that “date”, but I just want to spend some time with her outside of the School premises. It’s like, “Bahala na ang susunod na mangyari…” We were supposed to meet at 10am or 11am. It’s been almost an hour and she still hasn’t showed up. I opted to call her at their landline to check if she already left. So I used a pay phone (during that time I was one of those people who don’t want to bring his Nokia 3310 outside because it might get stolen) at a nearby stall:

Me: Hello? Pwede ko bang kausapin si Valenzuela City?

A Kid: Ay natutulog pa po si Valenzuela City…

I was shocked at what I have heard. I had mixed reactions and I stormed out of the mall and went home. I checked my celfone for messages but there’s nothing. I was furious. She left me hanging there. In short, na-Indian ako. Na-Drawing. But that’s not the bad part. The bad part was a text from an unknown number that I received that night:

« Eto ang kaibigan ni Valenzuela City. Gusto kong malaman kung bakit mo sya hindi sinipot kanina. Naghihintay sya sa Ever ng mag-isa!!!“

I replied:

“Nandun ako sa Ever ng 10 o‘ clock pa. Matagal ko syang hinintay dun at tinawagan ko sa bahay at natutulog daw sya.”

Her “friend” never replied and I thought that maybe it was not her friend that texted me, but just her using a different number. She was pretty good with words so she can be deceptive if needed. I don’t want that kind of a relationship or friendship or whatever. I then started ignoring her and removed her number from my phone list. The ignoring part was easy since it was graduation and we have to worry about passing our grades so that we can walk the stage and stuff. Plus there’s also college and Anime Conventions to look at stuff.

Last I’ve seen or heard from her she’s cozy with a boyfriend and is a registered nurse at a University-associated hospital. Unlike New Zealand, she has a Facebook profile but I chose to not add her. I know it’s juvenile of me, that I need to move on and stuff, but I just don’t feel like it. I’m one of those people who don’t want to add/accept friends recklessly. Unless I’m really friends with you (or a hot chick) I’ll add /accept you. To each his own. Wag siraan ang trip. Sapakin kita eh…

I think the lesson here is pretty obvious. Be careful with women. Who knows what they are cooking. Always listen to what your instinct is telling you. And on a lighter note, I guess you need to be brave on expressing your feelings to someone. Take the leap, as they say. You never know until you tried. I’m thinking that things could have been a little different if I said my feelings early on. This would have been not included on the “Road”. But it’s too late for that, and I’m satisfied with my choice.

Not when I’ve took a dive into answering a request at an Anime magazine from a girl looking for some friends who also loves Anime. Another time, then…

The Torpe Road (Part 1)

2011-03-03T23:17:00.000-08:00

Writing about your past helps to ease the excess baggage that you may have. Whether it is about your embarrassing moments, trouble at home or school and past girlfriends it can release the tension that you may still have. And also make you realize your mistakes and just laugh about it.

That’s why I’ve decided to write an entry like this. It’s a lot more personal. Taking a cue from local author Jay Panti, I wanted to tell my experiences that I had with the women that I wanted to win their heart… but got rejected, I declined and all the stuff in between. I’ve decided not to include my ex-girlfriend (yeah, I only had one. I’m a late bloomer) and recent girlfriend as they are someone who did not reject me. And taking another cue from a column that I read from Men’s Health, I left their

real names out and replaced them with the name of the place that they currently live or where they really live. So here it is; as R&B singer Usher used to say, “these are my confessions…”

It was 2001. I was a fourth-year high school student, with a big hope for the world outside after I graduate. I was hooked back then in Japanese animation, or Anime, as it is often called. I was also a late bloomer on everything. I just got used to not bringing a packed lunch prepared by my mother and in a good company with a very large group of friends, or what we call 13 @+!v0+Z!!! or Bativotz, spelled in a jejemon-like text (texting and modern cell phones were still at their infancy and jejemon was still not coined . Thank God.) Why that funky name? It’s a really funny story, actually. When I asked one of our so-called “leader” what’s the meaning of the name besides a nod to that classic children’s show, he also said “ dito kasi sa [tinatambayan] natin madaming mag-syotang nag-babate” Back then I don’t know what “bate” means. Now I’m wiser and even now I still don’t know if it really is true. But leave it to the high libido and adrenaline of teenagers to do a naughty deed like that.

Moving on to our story, I have a lot of crushes at school not to mention fantasies that I would “binabate” at my room. But none of them I have made the moves on. I was a “torpe” with girls and don’t know what to say, how to say, how to act, what to act, etc. So it comes as no surprise that I really faltered and where I really learned “the rules” on my first “niligawan”, New Zealand. New Zealand was a very beautiful girl. She had long, somehow curly black hair and of average height. She had these mesmerizing eyes and a wonderful sense of humor. She was a “kalog”, very energetic. But that’s not what I was drawn to at first.

It was our annual retreat. Being in a catholic school it was a requirement (unless you can provide a very good excuse and have your parents write you a letter) to go to a far-away place (like Laguna) managed by nuns and priests and reflect as well pray about our shortcomings as a Christian male and be a better one in return. Of course, girls and boys have separate rooms. At evenings and after our daily dose of reflection we would go back to our rooms and either sleep or talk to fellow classmates until the wee hours of the night. It was at that time that New Zealand confesses something to my fellow female classmates.

Girl 1: New Zealand, sino sa mga kaklase nating lalake ang crush mo?

New Zealand: Wala.

Girl 1: Sino nga? Imposible na wala…

New Zealand: Wala nga sabi…

Girl 2: Ang arte mo…

(large group of laughter)

(after the initial silence…)

New Zealand: Si (insert my name here) siguro…

One of my female classmates told me this after the retreat. She was a known gossiper so it’s credible. My first reaction was “ Talaga???” In truth, I never saw myself as the type that ladies fall heads-over-heels for. I was getting used to applying gel to my hair; my school bag was a rather large business-oriented one that seemed out of place. I was bullied by my classmates. It seemed like a moment where you stop making yourself miserable and get your head out of the oven.

After I knew that juicy bit, I talked to her more than before. I thought to myself “bakit naman hindi? Maganda rin naman siya. At pag naging jowa ko ito, tataas na respeto ng mga kaklase ko sa akin.” My approach was the humorous type. I joked of how handsome I am, of how I looked like a local now-very-famous matinee idol and accompanying her to wait for her folks to pick her up along with her younger sister who is also studying at the same school. Her friends noticed me making my moves and they approve of us. They even made some effort of making her be alone with me whenever there are times that there are no teachers and we just goofed around. After the part where we have discovered that there is no one teaching at our class, we would form small circles around our classmates that we would talk to. What they would do is not talk to New Zealand and makes her left out of the group. Then it would just be us. She noticed what her friends are doing but that did not stop me from making her fall for me. I also got help from her best friend, sometimes a little too much. But more on that later. One of the sweetest things I did for her is I drew a picture of herself dangling from a swing. While my artist skills are still developing, it was the effort that counted. Many of my friends and classmates noticed my “moves” on her and they teased us a lot. They would say things like “Whoooo!!! Nagbibinata na si (my name) !!!”

Her folks also noticed that as well. I don’t know if they approved of it, but all I can say is I got off to a bad start. You see, there’s this one part where we waited for her parents to pick her up. After I sent her to their Ford Ranger’s car door, I distanced myself and said:

Me: Sige, New Zealand, ingat ka!!!

New Zealand’s Mother: INGAT KAYO!!!

Me: Ay, oo nga po, Ingat kayo!!!

I was surprised at what her mother said to me. She corrected me in front of New Zealand. Apparently I should have wished THEM a safe journey instead of just her. I was totally embarrassed. I told my friends that bit and they said “ Ano?? Eh ang tatanga-tanga mo!! Mali nga yung unang mong sinabi! Kasama nya yung magulang nya so dapat sinabihan mo na “ingat kayo” para me pogi points ka sa kanila!!!” It was really, really, embarrassing and I don’t know, for me, her mother shouldn’t have said that to me. I was starting out. Give me some slack. But they don’t know that, so who am I to judge?

It was also that school year that I saw her blossom into a woman. There were two instances: the Junior-Senior Prom and our class musical play. At school, we are required to do a class musical play for our grades in English class. Never really knew why we would do something like that, I guess it’s to broaden our knowledge on great musicals. I mean, thanks to those, I knew musicals like “Starlight Express”, “Aida” and “Rent”. Our gay classmate and leader chose the more recent movie-musical “ Moulin Rouge” for our section. New Zealand was shocked that he picked her to play the part of Satine, played in the movie by Nicole Kidman. She never saw herself acting in front of a large crowd of students and teachers. She almost did not accept the part but constant egging by my classmates made her say yes. She was perfect for the part. She has the structure of Satine: long hair, angelic look and some curves. I almost got the part of playing Christian, played by Ewan McGregor, the love interest, at one time. I’m glad I didn’t get the part. Because at the night of the play, we don’t know what to do. In short, “nagkalat din kami.”But we managed to deliver an “okay” performance. It was at that time that she, as my budding writer-friend wrote on a school paper or something like that “ …this is New Zealand’s time. This will be her biggest role to commit ever. Where she would mature from a girl to a woman.” I liked how my friend wrote it. In a way, I’ll bet it is her biggest role ever.

Now, besides our annual retreat, we also have the prom which happened at the Holiday Inn near Roxas Boulevard where we dress up in formal clothes and reflect on the closing year; our graduating year. I was wearing a suit with no tie. I should have worn a tie. I almost bought one at the Holiday Inn store. Then while chatting with my friends of how we look “pogi” New Zealand suddenly appeared. Man, I swore when I saw her beautiful music was playing. The appropriate song would be “She” by Elvis Costello. She was in a black long dress with some sparkly bits on it and her hair was tied up in a bun. She was gorgeous. I managed to dance with her, almost to the point of pleading with my classmate to cut in. When we danced, I even don’t know how to hold her. One hand was on her waist while another was on her shoulder. Looking back, I should have placed both arms on her waist. Oh well.

It was at the end of the school year that I decided to pop the big question: New Zealand, will you be my girlfriend? I don’t know how it started, either I’ve been courting her for too long or I’ve been pressured by my fellow classmates. So there I was, on my usual “sinasamahan-siya-habang-hinihintay-ang-kanyang-mga-magulang” stint along with her younger sister at the front gate of the school. It ended up with me hanging out with her sister instead as her group of friends decided to do a photo-op at a nearby photo studio. I tried to strike a conversation with her sister to kill time because it took a while for her to come back. Then, when she came back, a few minutes later her folks are already at the front gate of the school. I was accompanying them when suddenly, I asked her:

Me: New Zealand…

New Zealand: Ano yun?

Me: Pwede na ba kitang maging…

New Zealand: Ano?

Me: …boyfriend?

(pause that seemed like eternity then she smiled in an awkward way)

New Zealand: Di pa, (my name) sobra pa akong bata, baka pag college na lang…

Me: Ay ganun ba? Oh sige...

Then I left them near the gate, I opted to not meet her folks as the pain was unbearable. I remember walking away in slow motion and sad music was playing in the background. It’s like in the movies. Shet, ganito pala feeling pag na-basted ka. I had a lot of things on my mind that day, like “ it’s okay, pare, ganyan talaga buhay.” Or “at least na-try mo…” I don’t remember how I got home that day, but all I can remember is that evening. I cried. I was on my knees on our living room, crying. I know that it is embarrassing when I looked back at that act, but it was my first love, pare!!! You never really forget that feeling.

At school news travelled fast. There are my classmates who laughed at my misfortune and some who gave a mental “fist bump” for mutual respect. I channeled my sadness on drawing cartoons, college and rapping. MYX channel was just starting and rock and OPM music was still dwindling and my age bracket enjoyed music from J. Lo,

Ja Rule, Ashanti, Eminem and Linkin Park. I knew the lyrics of the songs of Linkin Park at heart, so I always sung them and my classmates asked for them so they could also memorize it. Because of my knowledge of the songs I was privileged (if that is the right word for what I did) to sing and rap in front of the whole school. Some say “I rapped demonically”. In truth, I just mumbled words and I’ll bet half the school didn’t understand it. So, in a way, I was able to vent out my frustrations and sadness in a positive manner.

College came and I haven’t heard from her for a while. It took a while for me to move on properly. Probably took years. I befriended her on Friendster and nothing much has changed from her: she’s still the charismatic kalog I fell in love with. The last time I saw her in person was in 2004, when my classmates and I mounted an Art Exhibit. Seasons change and it seems she deleted her Friendster page for some unknown reason. She doesn’t have a Facebook page. Believe me, I’ve tried to search for her, even on Google. God knows if she’s still outside the country or if she’s engaged or what-have-you’s. I just hope she’s happy (naks!!) wherever she is. As of this writing, there’s a terrible earthquake that occurred in New Zealand (the country) and I hope she and her family are not affected greatly.

So what did I learn from all this? Actually, a lot. This experience made me stronger and braver. It became my template on how to approach and talk to girls ( I had to re-learn the techniques again later on…) Looking back again, I felt I courted her for the wrong reasons. I only approached her after I knew she has a thing for me. I don’t know, it just felt cruel. I guess you should court someone if you do really have a thing for her, not because of what you’ve heard from a fellow classmate. And, oh, I’ve also learned how to act in front of your pursued girl’s folks.

But don’t feel bad for what happened to me. Fate can be weird sometimes. Even though I didn’t snag New Zealand, I became cozy to her best friend. But that’s another story…

Fear, Collecting and Writing...

2011-02-08T01:17:00.000-08:00

Even if it doesn't look like I'm busy updating this blog, I always devote some time checking myFacebook page, my deviantart page (where I update my journal more often, even if it's short. you can check it even if you don't have an account with them , which is good.) and checking my favorite, non-porn website. And also porn.

Lately I've been on the edge. Ever since my girlfriend and I watched this certain horror movie (trust me when you don't want to know what the movie is) that borders more on grotesque operation (think the movie SAW) than cold-blooded murder. It's a heavily flawed movie, but it did get my imagination good. I've been a little scared when it's evening and the lights go down . I feel like they're at our comfort room, the darkest place in our studio room.Whenever I would close my eyes I open it again to see if someone is there. I remedied that by sleeping on the other side, but whenever I would take a leak I open the lights at the CR. I know, I know, it's really stupid, juvenile and there are no ghosts at our place. It's just that I have a hyperactive imagination and I can't stop thinking about stuff. Now I know how Calvin from comic strip Calvin and Hobbes feels. Now I enjoy company here, even my irritating sister when she comes home from work. Now it's waded a little bit, hopefully I'll get it out of my system . But it ranks up there with Sadako andParanormal Activity on the "Scared-Sh*tless -Out-Of-Sleep" category.

One of the things that's taking my mind off the scary stuff is my rekindled love for collecting toys. I have to thank my college friend for that, since he has a job that has more monetary benefits (feels good, right, friend?) and wanted to buy stuff for his collection. Now I have someone I can talk to more often than usual about collecting stuff, how to take care of them and the like. Heck, here are some of my newest additions to my collection:

My collections include die-cast cars (mostly hot wheels and the model '57 Chevy) and action figures from Marvel andDC Comics. I have went through their price increases (e.g. from 69.99php to 99.99php on Hot Wheels and 349.99php to 1,200php on DC Universe Classics) and the wonderful technology on them (e.g. a Transformers toy has more articulation now) I'm recently taking a liking toTransformers (preferably the kind that has a Voltes V-like setting, where a couple of robots form into one gigantic robot) Now, the biggest question could be: why collect? For me, I would prefer these things be my "furniture" or "conversation pieces" than some stupid vase or a window. When I was also a kid I have few friends, so I play epic stories by myself using my action figures and stuffed toys bought and won by my dad. I had a lot of fun there and this could be a way of remembering that. Hey, to each his own.

Recently also my officemates have been on reading frenzy ever since they have accidentally discovered a book at the office written by this Jay Panti guy. He writes about his experiences with school, women and life. He writes well and feels like he is amalgamation of your numerous past friends. For me, what my officemates like about him is his dozen escapades with his women. He feels like a modern Casanova. Honestly, I don't believe much in his stories but I like the section where he features some old tried-tested jokes. Some of them I haven't heard before. Because of him, I feel like writing my own memoir of the girls I've caroused and who"basted" me. Maybe next time...

-"the king"

Stuck...

2010-12-08T00:21:00.000-08:00

It's easy to lay off, to just slack around and doing whatever your heart wants to. But life is never easy, and you need to make up for the time you wasted. And making up those time is never easy. I learned that the hard way when I wasn't able to finish my project for Home Economics or whatever it is called back in grade school. It was a weaved basket and I wasn't really good at it so I wasn't able to start immediately and in the end, I got a failed score and a scolding from my parents. Since then I opted to do things in advance because rushing things isn't always easy.

With that said, sometimes it's hard to just "do it". Not the sex part, but doing things you like. Procrastination gets the better of you. I wanted to do some art crap but lately I'm not in the mood. No matter how hard I tried, my sketches are sloppy. There are also distractions, like internet, Facebook, dvds and catching up on lost sleep. Whenever I'm doing something mundane I think of what I need to do after. But when I sit on the table BANG I get zilch. I totally get stuck and the end product is terrible. It's like forgetting to buy a carton of milk when you're taking a leisure walk. (hhmmmm... that could be a movie. Or it already is...)

For some reason, I'm glad that I still have my assignments from my father's newspaper. There are deadlines that I need to finish, so I need to think fast and do the article/editorial cartoon in a short period of time. That at least gets my gears running. But make no mistake, I pour a lot on those assignments and I always make sure they look/read good. It's just that I wanted to do something I really want to do, like my indie comic book.

I'm just hoping that I'll get out of this "stuck" situation soon... Posting it on my blog gets some results. (don't believe me? I wrote here that I wish my girlfriend and I would be able to visit Boracay. Last March we were able to. ) Until then, I'll probably level up more on Facebook app CarTown...

-"the king"

KIDS...

2010-10-12T01:20:00.000-07:00

With my birthday already long and gone, I'm gettin' older and wiser (maybe) and losing a bit of hair as well. I know, I know it is a rather sad sight to see, but I'm still counting my blessings.

Now with age comes some pretty big decisions, naturally, we think of the future and what it holds. Career tracks, money burdens and kids. Most especially kids. I'm really thinking of that one more these days. Why? Well, to tell you the truth, I'm not a kids person. I'm not that guy who talks gibberish at a baby (i.e. aawww ajuju baba nananaa???? like the baby understands that. really now?) I sometimes hate when kids ask a lot of questions up to the point that they want you get irritated and they just laugh at you. And the part where you can spend a lot of money on diapers, education and hospital bills on them. This affects me because I'm a known cheapskate. ( heck, I'll probably be like actor Terry Crews' character on the comedy series Everybody Hates Chris as a dad.), And don't even get me started on their personal hygiene. I know this is rather mean, but I'm just telling the hard truth...

Still, even with all the bad stuff about them (HAH! now I'm treating them like stuff.) I want to have kids. I want to spread my gene pool and talk to them about life, death and finding the right friends. Y'know, that kind of stuff. After all, I can be a preacher at times. So you could say I like kids, just my kids.

Rants: Linkin Park's new album takes a lot of time gettin' used to, but it's very rewarding. They're best listened when you listen to all of the tracks. Listening to just one track does injustice to the mood that they're setting for. I hope that these local cable channels bring back G4 TV's Attack of the Show. I love their varied topics and most especially Olivia Munn. I've just recently taking a liking to Discovery Channel's Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe. I like how he can almost speak to anyone...

-"the king"

Lessons...

2010-09-10T18:05:00.000-07:00

Drawing my indie comic, playing Car Town on Facebook (want to own the 57 Chevy Bel-Air, even if it's a virtual ride) and pretty much downloading new songs on my large laptop (but with a huge QWERTY keyboard) comprises of my leisure time. Work still has it's hazards, but at least I'm earnin' money to buy some good stuff... like load for my broadband connection...

Out of this leisure time sometimes life gives you something that throws you off guard. I've learned that when I committed my 246th (I'm just counting randomly...) mistake. They do say that you have to prepare for every possible scenario. But no matter how much you prepare, something really throws you off guard... You gotta admire the unpredictability

of life...

That's why I give this advice to my (2) readers... prepare for the worst, hope for the best. You know what they say, "Experience is the hardest teacher... she gives the test before the lesson." I know it's weird for me to get preachy, but I have a problem that's been bugging me for months now. And it's close to home, so it's really hard to run from it. Not that I can't handle anyway, "Life will not give you a problem that you can't solve" as they say... but I hope it will be over. Posting it at my blog sometimes takes the heat off of things. And, oftentimes, solves it all of a sudden... Unpredictability....

Rants: Love the new all-girl band General Luna, they know how to play instruments (insert green "instrument" Hah!!!) and can ROCK!!! Man on man, I just recently discovered actress Bangs Garcia's dance moves on youtube and they're damn hot!!! Some of the best websites that I visit are this (a good comic book-related website with some gosh-darn opinions on new stories and events, plus there's also some japanese manga thrown in there as well, so it's the best of both worlds...) here ( a true-blue Alex Ross fansite. I don't know how this guy gets all of his cash for these type of goodies...) and this (this fellow indie artist talks anything, ranging from his works to patriotic stuff as well...)

Lastly, I stumbled into this comic that is so darn cute and a homage to Bill Watterson's seminal Calvin and Hobbes comic strip. Lex looks so cute here...

-"the king"

FUNNY...

2010-08-07T02:27:00.000-07:00

Not really busy with anything, it's just that it's rather hard to make a very concise blog. What I'm busy at is slacking off at my Facebook and deviantart accounts. They can be very addicting.

Besides losing weight, going to America to attend either San Diego Comic Con or E3 and doin' Bangs Garcia, one of my greatest wishes is to make people laugh. Even though I have the knack to do that in front of my colleagues, sometimes it's a hit-and-miss. My jokes can be corny. What I'm really opting for is a performance like Chris Hardwick, the host from G4's Web Soup. The show is about a collection of the weirdest, funniest and downright disturbing videos found on the internet. I love how he has a witty remark on all of them. (coincidentally, he provided the voice for Otis, the smart-talking cow from the spin-off series Back at the Barnyard, which I also love)

I hope in the years that follow I would be able to do that. Heck, I have ideas for a late-night TV talk show, like what Jay Leno, Jimmy Kimmel, Conan O'Brien and Jojo Alejar are doing. I mean, I have a funny remark from every current event that is happening. It's the delivery that I'm worried about...

Rants: I was reminded of the Disney Channel animated series American Dragon and I'm appalled at the stereotyping of the characters. There is an African-American woman who talks like a rap star and the protagonist talking like a skater-poser. Lame. Someone needs to cut Justin Bieber's ridiculous hairdo. Paging Edward Scissorhands... And I want to play Beer Pong.

-"the king"

GoodByes...

2010-06-01T03:24:00.000-07:00

No, no, I'm not sayin' goodbye to this blog. Although I have to admit I have a few fanbase, this is still very close to my heart and one of my few personalized webpages that I still update. After all, the world still offers lot of crap and stuff that irritating I vent out on this blog...

Let me first tell you a short story totally related to what I'm talking about on this post: I was browsing the 'net and checking on some porn and some old websites that I check back in college that is not related to porn and I remember a website about my favorite artist named Jeremy "Norm" Scott who does a videogame-related comic on my favorite magazine, Electronic Gaming Monthly. Found a new link to his works (which can be found here) , and I was totally shocked that Electronic Gaming Monthly, or EGM for short, canceled their paper run and instead opted to go the way of digital media (or e-'zine) OMG!!! My favorite magazine which has some very funny and brutally honest editorial content is DEAD!!! Well, not really dead, but paper magazines are still my preferred reading material.

So, in relevance to this, I present to you my list of other R.I.P. thingies (sorry, can't characterize it)

Friendster. Man oh man. That was the day that I looked at some sexy pictures of female strangers and where I started blogging. It had a good run. Now Facebook is the thing. I'm guessing by 2015 there will be another social-network site that will topple Facebook...
PS1, PS2, PSP. This is very sad. I'm a gamer. Because of work, I don't have time to play racing, fighting or adventure games anymore. I fondly remember playing the latest version of Tekken, Need for Speed: Underground, the Crash Bandicoot games before it was sold to a crappy developer and Ridge Racer. Now I settle for cellphone games and daily visits on Timezone arcade since they only took a little of my time. And speaking of cellphones...

Nokia 3200. Call it a piece of crap design on the keypad (looking like a small fingernail) but I loved it. This was the time that I had lots of cellphone load and I don't have anyone to text with so I just downloaded some games. I especially liked the Dragon Knight game. It was so deep for a cellphone game. Not sure who the developer was...

So there. I bid a sad, tear-wrenching farewell to these thingies. I'm sure I have a lot more on my head, but these are the ones that popped in my head... Until then, I also bid,

Goodbye...

- "the king"

Glee, Masters of the Universe and Chicks...

2010-04-29T05:49:00.000-07:00

Call it a miracle, but I decided to post a blog entry since I've always been online lately. (thanks to the unlimited surfin' by my network provider) While there are a lot of things I can talk about, I've decided to rant about the things that are recently just popped up in my head...

First off: the hit tv series GLEE. Pfft. Everybody seems to like the show. I mean, I do applaud the song choices and the way they sing it, but it's too effin' over-hyped. TV channel JACK TV are holding choir contests, dozens of tv commercials and the like. For me, it's like the movie TWILIGHT: everybody wants to know what the fuss is about, and every media head wants to cover it. GLEE is too (for me) gay. Not that I'm against gays, mind you , but the show is too girly for me. I prefer How I Met Your Mother (or himym for fans of the show) Besides, they compare it as a "High School Musical for Adults". Shouldn't you be waned that you are being compared to a kid's movie?

Also, I don't know about you, but I don't see why many people love waxing nostalgia on 80's cartoon He-Man and the Masters of the Universe. They've re-released the old toys and gived them the super-articulation of today, and a lot of collectors are snatching at it!!! It's like Conan the Barbarian for kids. Maybe it's the crazy-ass characters and their crazy-ass names (i.e. Mekaneck, Stratos) but I still don't see the appeal. Granted, I'm an 80's kid, and I like certain cartoons during that time period as well, but I prefer the 90's cartoons, like stick-figure cartoon Stickin' Around and Bucky O' Hare. Until fate would give it to me during my muses, I'll still be a confused idiot...
Finally, well, even if I already have a girlfriend, I'll still look at chicks. Hahaha.... I call it "man nature" I thank the heavens above for FHM, Facebook and that random chick that passed by during my dates with my girlfriend. Haha. As they say, "dont' hate the player, hate the game..."

-"the king"

My Past Addictions...

2010-04-26T01:37:00.000-07:00

I’ve been meaning to write this down for a long time, but work, sloth and updating my deviantart page vicktuh85.deviantart.com takes up most of my time. Besides, updating deviantart just takes a few minutes of my time. No need really to make my gears on my brain work that much. Then, after that I can settle for internet porn. Haha.

Anyway, what I’m discussing here are the hobbies or things I’ve been wasting my time and money on during my childhood up to now. I felt the urge to enumerate them…( I’m really a sucker for nostalgia) So I’ll list them down using the the level of education as a guide…

Kinder/Grade school- I love watching cartoons. Back then we had no cable, so I had to settle on some great to crappy shows. Some of the best are at TV 5. I watch tv all time that I have trouble with my studies. Especially Math. I also loved reading books about the solar system and dinosaurs. I also played with my toys bought by my dad and the plush toys that my dad won at the then-famous Whimsy’s Place at Shangrila-Plaza. Even back then I’m not a social person, so I always play with myself and my sister. It was pretty hard sometimes because I always get verbally abused by my classmates. So those things are like my escape from the harsh world (cue violin music)

High school- Even though I already started playing videogames via the Sega Genesis (instead of the usual Famicom) the original Playstation took most of my younger years. Why? Games were a lot cheaper. Genesis cartridges are 700p each. For only 100php you get 3 Playstation games. I also burned most of my money on buying videogame magazines. My favorite is Electronic Gaming Monthly, or EGM for short. I was also one of the people that got hooked on the anime craze, thanks to the crazy ads from GMA 7. That is also the first time I experienced going to a convention. The people there are crazy, I tell you. Then I became a fan of Linkin Park, and thanks to them I got more engrossed with music than ever. Heck, I rapped "Papercut" at our stage in High school.

College- Playing PS2, reading and buying magazines and playing with friends at the computer shop (or called Internet Shop/Café ) took most of time in college, besides studying , of course. This was also the time I opened my eyes to the female anatomy and male hormones, thanks to FHM. I would buy them at first because of the curvaceous beauties, but got engrossed with the content as well. Heck, I even bought them to class as well. Yeah, I’m a perv. I also dabbled in collecting newer releases of toys, or I call “collectibles”.

Work/Real Life- Call me a late bloomer, but this was the time that I really got into drinking beer with my colleagues after work. I also got more into collecting different kinds of “collectibles”, ranging from superheroes to small-scale cars. I also updated my wardrobe by buying lots of statement shirts thanks to the money I earn from work.

So there, whew. Took a while, but I did it. So, what’s your addiction?

-"the king"

Artsy Pantsy

2010-03-05T02:58:00.000-08:00

I'm easily irritated. One of the things that I don't like is when writers would "sell out" to fans and write some jack-sh*t about products, events that they were paid to make. Look at Jessica Zafra.

I know people will hate me for this, but on a related note, I've submitted some of the old and new works at the artwork-related social page deviant art. I know, i know, I'm a hypocrite. But at least it's my own self I'm selling out to.

Check some of my works...

check it at vicktuh85.deviantart.com

COMICS!!!!!!

2010-01-30T01:19:00.000-08:00

Let's just pretend that I'm active in this blog. It seems that there are a lot of things I've been wanting to say since I got "creative" again. So, moving on...

I've been making comics again since last year (Silent Sanctum Manga. Available at comic conventions and at Sputnik Comics at Cubao PLUG!!!) Not an easy task, what with juggling work, catching some Zzzz' s and spending some quality time with my girlfriend (the best ever, ZING!!!!!) It's the greatest feeling, really, when you're on a state of coming up with visual ideas and your brain is overflowing with ideas. I admit that I'm not the greatest comic artist ever, but I feel like the best writer ever. Guess I got it from my father. To me, making the story interesting and keeping the reader wanting more is the key to a great comic book story. I've been collecting comics, either local or foreign (as I've noted in a previous log) for quite some time now. Foreign comics can be bought everywhere these days, and that's where I want to say something distressing...

Local comics are really, really few now. People would prefer to watch tv (I've even joked in my Facebook page that "television killed the komiks star) or do something "productive" instead. Distribution is also the problem. Often people would have to go through the ends of the earth to find a copy. Also, since these people (myself included) have "day jobs" and are either doing these for the sake of any hullabaloo, many comics take a long time to be finished. Often they make 2-3 issues per year. It's quite sad, really. I've also noticed that usually readers of these local comics are also comic artists/writers as well. It's hard to get an audience who is just a fan, who knows squat about drawing.

The only thing that stands the test of time are comic strips at newspapers. They have a broad audience, and can appeal to many. What I'm dreaming now is for a publishing companyto start a Heavy Metal-type of comic magazine (must be in large print) that features all kinds of comic stories either in continuity or not. Anyone can submit in less than 2 pages or more in color or the infamous B&W...

Here's hoping...

-"the king"

Absence and MilkShakes...

2009-10-06T02:18:00.000-07:00

I know, I know.. it's been a freakin' long time. How long? Well, a lot of things have happened... there's Facebook's popularity, 2009 Metro Comic-Con, personal crisis, my sister away for a couple of months, Bohol trip, my indie comic debut, trips involving my girlfriend and such... I know it's rather inexcusable (at least to 5 of my "fans") but I've just lost it. I've lost that free-spirit to post. I mean, I can still rant or say just about anything ( i.e. higher authorities suck, The Dawn's slow version of "Love Will Set Us Free" is very unimpressive, Strawberry Milkshakes are good with big, juicy burgers, New MYX VJs= New Lame things to look at the picture tube etc. etc. etc.) but it just does not feel right. I don't know. Maybe because I'm in love (cue sitcom audience reply:AAAAWWWW....)

Maybe come back to me when we broke up (cue sitcom audience reply: HHHUHHHHH????) Nah, I kid. For now, I guess, you can just look at my old posts. It may be a while before I would post again. Or not. You can just check my blog often. Until then, stay sharp, b*tches....

-"the king"

The Future, Lucky Kids and Spiderman...

2009-05-18T00:52:00.000-07:00

Call it an uncanny kind of irony, but the last time I've posted an opinion on this blog (sponsors open) it completely did the opposite. When I've mentioned how hot it is the rainy season came. Maybe I should mention what I want. Let's start: Uhm, I hope we can go to Boracay with my girlfriend, get more sleep, lose weight, I hope I can introduce my gf to my college friends, kiss Ehra Madrigal's boobs and salary increase at work. Here's hoping...

The kids today are so freakin' lucky. Not just because they can get information easily, or how easy it is to get discovered these days( if they're opting to be a bonafide celebrity) , but they can "wank off" easily just by browsing the tv. Local channels even. Back in my day (now I sound old...) we had to settle for Donita Rose's from her Ober Da Bakod days or Regine Tolentino's from her Palibhasa Lalake days creamy legs. Now kids can easily gawk all they want from Ehra Madrigal, Angel Locsin, Katrina Halili and Marian Rivera's various "assets" on their respective telenovelas or fantaseryes. Lucky kids...

Speaking of kids, it seems hard to look at the future without it looking a little grim. I mean, videogame magazine EGM did present a lot of games that took place in the future as apocalyptic. There's always talks of climate change everywhere. I remember a lesser-known comic strip character that oddly looks like carbonated drink Sprite's mascot, Fido Dido saying " doesn't my generation get to screw anything up?" amid t-shirt statements of "Save the Earth", "Save the Whales", etc. Hopefully Earth will still be inhabitable 30 years from now.

I'm glad PSICOM Publishing is printing recent story arcs from Marvel and DC Comics for less than 100php. It's pretty fulfilling reading these stories if you're just following a story and not collecting variant covers for money. On a related note, Spiderman's stories these days is for new people who don't know much of his old stories. It's fun to read, yet the part where his webbing is not organic and has to always conserve it gets tiring. I mean, it doesn't have to be part of the story all the time. But this is just geek talk for me.

-"the king"

Incredible Heat, Killing Boredom and Andy Capp...

2009-04-20T00:55:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I've posted on this blog. I know, I should be more responsible. But the truth is, I was only able to surf the internet outside our home. Sucks, but that's how it goes. I think better when inside the walls of our home. But, I have the public to entertain (somehow) so I gotta rant even if I'm in a foreign land. That kind of stuff...

Is it me, or have you guys noticed how motherf*cking hot it is these days??? Either blame it on climate change or it's really the worst heat of summer. Why, if I have a peso for every person saying "Ang init!!!!" (usually followed by an expletive) I would have a hundred peso. Then I would buy a scale model of a '57 Chevy. By now you people would be able to know how to "beat the summer heat" so I wouldn't tackle that too much. Let's just stay cool while the sun kills us...

While staying cool there are numerous ways to kill boredom. But since I work, I have a mantra that sometimes it's better to do nothing than doing something (something strenuous, I might add...) Heck, I could go out, read a book, surf the internet, watch porn, complete my '57 Chevy collection (which I'm almost to my goal of 20) learn two chords of a guitar, learn to hold the guitar, draw, paint some abstract crap, watch tv. The list goes on and on...

Recently I was able to score a discounted compilation of everybody's favorite bloke, Andy Capp. For those not in the know, Andy Capp is a famous European comic strip character that is almost as old as Charlie Brown (that Blockhead) He is a lazy husband of Flo, the ever persistent wife of Capp. She works, Capp dozes, goes to the Pub, plays snooker, swears at referees at football games he plays in, etc. Basically he's a sophiscated wife-beater of a sort. His comics are pretty straightforward and almost trite. They just make variations to the theme of Capp being lazy. It gets boring after a few jokes. And his laziness can be rather ridiculous.

Rants: Been listening to Kings of Leon "Use Somebody" (great love song) and James Morrisson's "Broken Strings" (also a great song). Those young columnist at the Ystyle section of the Philippine Star (appearing every friday) feels like a higher authority just gave them a spot. I'm just saying...

-"the king"

Company Brands, Money and Garfield...

2009-03-12T02:59:00.000-07:00

It's really hard to come up with new material to rant or criticize about. Sometimes I have to "keep" it in my memory banks until I could find my notebook to write it so I could forget it and think of something else (like porn or select clips from How I Met Your Mother...) Hey, everybody who values their brain has something that they write on... Sometimes I blame myself when I forget something noteworthy by procrastinating. I also suffer from the age-old disease of forgetting something when you are ready to write a material. It happens sometimes...

As I'm typing this I'm eagerly waiting for our salary. Seems the past few days I've been spending a lot on stuff I need to stuff I want, like groceries and a scale model of 57 Chevy, respectively. Especially with the crap that USA is experiencing, it must be really hard to save when you need some disposable income. You just have to prioritize. I just hope that things will be alright around the world 16 months from now. We really don't need another period of The Great Depression that happened in 1929. See? I read my history. Wish I knew more, though...

Speaking of finances, my girlfriend (yes, i have a girlfriend. want to make something out of it?) remarked last time that we went out. She said that she doesn't like those big-name brands that cost so much. It's like you're buying the brand and not the actual product. Y'know, she's right. Most big-name brands are like that. One time I saw a shirt that so thin it's almost transparent and you could see your bellybutton if worn. And it's worth almost 2000p!!! F*ck. You don't need that. For me, being a cheap bastard and all, I buy t-shirts for what is written on it. I like the feeling of someone reading what's printed and laughing at it. Sweet...

I'm currently hooked on Garfield comic strips lately. I enjoy the simplicity of the strip and removing Garfield from the strip and marvelling at his owner's extereme boredom ( to know what I'm talking about, go to http://www.garfieldminusgarfield.net/) although I've seen two instances where a joke was recycled. But I guess being in the business does have it's disadvantages. But still, I'm glad that Garfield is still active, churning out new jokes and misadventures and making kids read.

Rants: Watchmen looks to be good, although it mostly caters to comic book geeks. Ah well, there are like 200 bajillion lonely dorks around the world. With recession hitting the US, maybe Calvin and Hobbes creator Bill Watterson might need some more cash and return to drawing. Maybe...

-"the king"

Discovery Channel Shows, Collection and Havaianas...

2009-02-08T04:44:00.000-08:00

Almost everybody who knows me knows I'm a cheap bastard... I sometimes eat at my trusty pares cart near our place (and get a worse feeling a few hours later... sometimes.) buy t-shirts at affordable prices (buy at People are People? Hah, Please...) and get the biggest discounts at my ehrm, collectibles. Like a few hours earlier I was able to score a figure from Hasbro's Marvel Legends' less than stellar Fin Fang Foom Wave. I managed to get a better figure from a limited selection at almost 1/3 the price. Nice. Now it got me thinking: should I buy the complete 15-inch Fin Fang Foom figure that I saw last time at a nice discount, or just keep the money for the future (like, say, invest in hybrid car?) Ah, I'll let my brain decide... hopefully if I do decide to buy it, It'll still be there...

Now color me stupid or stubborn, but I think that many fashion accesories and beverages are too darn expensive... A flip-flop worth 1000ph??!! Those closed-toe flip-flops (or called Crocs) worth 2000ph?? Coffee worth 120++ph?? It's like boxer Bernard Hopkins (I think) said, why buy a thousand-dollar watch when you can buy a cheap one that can tell you the same time? Yeah, my collectibles are also not excused for this, heck, you could call them "dust-collectors" yet I would still say, " Oh, go take a flying leap..." or "Make your own Blog and rant about it, mother****er..."

Lately I've been watching this show on Discovery Channel called Time Warp. It's like they've expanded the concept of those moments on tv where they do a slow-motion replay of a certain action. It's really cool to watch (especially the part of a karate master breaking many layers of concrete bricks.) but some of the parts they "time warp" or super-high-definiton-slow-motion are not really science-y. Mostly they border on the "amusing" level or "entertaining" level. I'll also say that the show Mythbusters started the trend of "Extreme Science Shows for Hip Young Teens" like Time Warp. Thanks, Adam Savage and Jamie Hyneman. And also have you seen their other member Kari Byron? Hachi Machi!!!

Rants: Those MYX VJs are really killing me... They just need to be shot at for their useless rambling. I like Akon's new single. The one that goes "Na Na Na Na..." and the Late Isaac Hayes' "Theme from Shaft" mostly becuse I've watched the 2000 remake on HBO recently (starring a young Christian Bale...) and Jamie Foxx's "Just Like Me". Very catchy.

-"the king"

Twilight Sh*t, Anger 2 and My MP3...

2009-01-22T18:42:00.000-08:00

Believe it or not, I've gone through two rewrites of this post. I almost didn't finish if not for my persistence and some fresh things to insult and rant. Blame it on one person which I wouldn't want to mention as he's not worth my breath. It's my fault entirely, but I still would like to say "ulol bakla!!!" to him, if ever I see him again. We're all like that sometimes...

Anyway, these days I just can't help but be angry sometimes. Feels like I just want to ram an 8-inch steak knife at some people I hate, hated or about to hate. Or hating right now. I guess it comes with the job. Hey, Bruce Banner experienced that. But still, some times I've "Hulked" out I'm embarassed about, and I always try to incorporate calming methods, like breathing. Or fishing (maybe).

Lately, these past few days while travelling or going to malls to look at stuff made me want to "Hulk" out at some dorks, dweebs or effin' male-b*tches. Ever since that ultimate chick-flick-a-rama Twilight came out, I've seen many people of the male demographic reading the novel. Honestly, someone (no, really, I don't give a rat's ass about the story.) told me that the plot is paper-thin. Like Sweet-Valley-High thin. I guess some of these douchebags read the series as a conversation starter to hook up with chicks. (sample dialogue: "You've read New Moon? I've read New Moon!!! I think Edward's character (or whatever) is trailing at some points of the story, but that's just to build the Female character more, don't you think??...) Really, stories involving Vampires is so cliched... I prefer Blade, or at least a story involving Ninjas.

Also, I'm so hooked to my Mp3 (which I call SoundGarden... Chris Cornell tribute.) and I would love to buy an MP3 player with a bigger memory so I can place more songs there. My current music I'm listening is "King Without a Crown" by Matiyashu, " The Metal" by Tenacious D, "All Around me" by FlyLeaf and "Panahon" by Rivermaya. Music is a part of my life. Really.

Rants: The movie "YES Man" starring an old Jim Carrey and her leading lady who looks like Katy Perry is a good, if not somewhat-inspiring movie. The movie won't make you say YES to everything, but you're tempted to try... Watch it!!!! I can't wait for X-Men Origins:Wolverine to show. Feels like it would rejuvenate the franchise. I love the music video and beat of singer Lady Ga-Ga's "Poker Face"

-''the king"

Enthusiastic ' 09, Classic Games and MoyMoy Palaboy...

2009-01-01T17:57:00.000-08:00

We celebrated New Year at the Office... again. It's kinda sad, but at least a lot of people in our offices bought some food. I'm stuffed to my eardrums that night. Still, I'm happy that I still have a job that makes me buy some things I need ( grocery) to things I don't need. ( novelty items ) I'm looking forward to this year, as I do always. As Brandon Boyd of Incubus once said, "whatever tomorrow brings/ i'll be there/ with open arm/ and open eyes/ Yeah...."

I've also recently purchased a cd full of compilation of classic games from their respective publishers (i.e. Midway, Sega, etc.) and downloaded them into my psp. ( I'm also thinking of downloading some scanned comic books as well) They're very entertaining. You see, I have a knack for playing classic games from Pitfall! on the Atari 2600 to Sonic the Hedgehog on the Sega Genesis. Makes you think how kids during that time consider a pixel as a Hero to how "revolutionary" those graphics are when compared to today's HD-quality graphics. Back then, there are no "real" endings, other than the usual glittering "CONGRATULATIONS" page. And the one thing that keeps them coming back to the game is beating someone's (or theirs) high score.

But the sad thing about these games sometimes is almost all of them are the same. They are just the usual platformer and shooter archetypes. The only variety are the characters and the storyline (well, kinda...) and man, these things can be hard. I've been playing this game made by Sega back in 1995 called Comix Zone, where a questionably-built comic book artist was sucked into his own comic book page and must escape into the pages. The action transpire in comic book panels. It's very interesting, if it wasn't for the damn difficulty. I keep dying in the second level. And there no continues on the original game. Once you die it's all over. You start all over again. Yikes. Well, I was a Sega Genesis baby, I started playing on the Genesis and not the usual Famicom. The game I play is Sonic the Hedgehog 3. We (my sister) always play with no save points. I'm glad that today's games have save points so you don't have to start all over again. Makes the industry merciful.

Rants: MoyMoy Palaboy really got into a lucky break, landing a gig at GMA7's Bubble Gang. They even have an endorsement shown on the LRT-1 . MoyMoy Palaboy are two dudes who lip-sync music with humorous results. They got famous in Youtube (no need to introduce this sh*t.) Almost all of the posts on that website has some idiots lip-syncing some tomfoolery music. It's just that these idiots got lucky. And I've watched their video. It's amusing (funny for a few minutes) enough, but it gets tired. But you know what, even if I have my gripes, I would still have my picture taken with those thumbleweeds. I guess that's how we're wired. We may hate someone, but we could still kiss them...

-"the king"

Pinoy Man Show, Death of VJs and Charice Pempengco...

2008-12-18T01:51:00.000-08:00

It's been a while since my last post, what with a bad cinema experience for the Pacquiao- De La Hoya fight at Trinoma, our company Christmas party, my Hooters experience ( Mini review: the food is great, albeit a bit expensive. Beer costs almost 70php. The place is very atmospheric, looks just like the branches at America. The Hooters girls, the main attraction at the place, are a hit and miss. Most of them are, shall we say, hipon. And they're wearing stockings. I've been cheated at my ogling!!! Overall, a good bar to eye chicks and for people who have a lot to spend on.) and catching up on lost sleep time. But it's good to be back, ranting and dissing again...

While I'm buying my favorite magazine (FHM) and looking at others as well, I've stumbled into something that needs to be done. People, heed my words: we need a PINOY THE MAN SHOW. For those who don't know The Man Show, it's a show where they make fun on homosexuality, sports and ladies' underwear. Plus they popularized the term Girls Jumping on Trampoline. I don't care what network will take it, as long as it is there. And I don't care what timeslot it's in, as long as it is there too. You ask why? Think about it: everywhere you look, sexuality is rampant in the Philippines. Men of the 20-30 denominator demand a different kind of homeland entertainment. I believe the time is now. Heck, I don't care if it will last 13 episodes, as long as people felt it. And felt it good... Now, the hosts should be very comedic and manly. For now, I choose geekoid RJ Ledesma as the first host, while the second one is still pending. It's really hard to find good hosts these days...

Speaking of hosting, it appears I'm not the only one who hates these new VJs at music channel MYX and MTV. I read at a Philippine Star column last Friday (or Saturday, sorry, dude.) expounding about the death of VJs. Most of these are indeed just nuisance to your music video pleasure. The kind where you just say "bilisan mo nga, paksh*t!!!" or you switch channels until they show the videos. The only good host I like is the PEEP Show's Dylan. Unless these greedy executives would actually consider good pronunciation skills over good looks, the VJ is dead...

Rants: Our homegrown singer Charice Pempengco, while making waves internationally, looks just like a potential date for Frodo Baggins. And have you heard her actually sing? All she does is do a rhythmic screaming, or puro birit. It's just too much. I want a Build-A-Figure Marvel legends Sentinel!!!! Also, Tom the cat doesn't actually look old in the latest cartoons, only in the episode I watched where Tom joined a beauty pageant for cats. See? Make-up can make you look old. Go figure.

-"the king"

Audiences, Mr. Bill Watterson and Tom and Jerry...

2008-11-25T16:44:00.000-08:00

The internet is a very vast sea of knowledge, information and free stuff (i.e. music, smuggled novels and good ol' porn). Back then, you have to wait a few weeks before someone would rant your latest work (if you were a cartoonist or a writer). Now, it just takes minutes to see insults or praises on the internet the moment your work comes out of the newstands and bookstores, or anything it comes out of. In particular, there is this thing on the internet called "message boards" that can have a healthy dose of replies ranging from the obscene to the richest in information of a certain subject matter, sometimes not relating to the original post.

Which actually brings me to my usual musings while thinking of a new post. No matter how obscure or boring your contributions to the internet are, someone will read it, either your classmate from highschool, a dork from Cleveland, Ohio or a stranger with a lot of time on his hands at a local internet shop. Maybe that person will find something inspiring at your contribution or feel better at his/herself by seeing at how stupid your contributions are. What I'm saying is, because of the internet, you, too, can have an audience.

Having also bought a the first collected book of Mr. Bill Watterson's famous work Calvin And Hobbes, you have to admire the man who made reading at the funny pages less humiliating. For those who don't know this seminal comic strip (gasp! how could you?) It's about a 6 year-old kid who finds companionship on his stuffed tiger. (for some cool info, check out http://ignatz.brinkster.net/) He "thinks" that his plush toy is alive, and they go on crazy mischiefs, much to the dismay of his parents. It had a good run, lasting 10 years at newspapers. Since then, no comic strip has ever been this influential. My only gripe about the creator is that he really, really refused to have his work translated to animated form and merchandising. He says that if someone would "butcher his babies" it would be best if it came from him. While I do agree with him at a certain point ( I mean, wouldn't you find it ridiculous to see Calvin and Hobbes-branded calculators?) it wouldn't hurt to see some merchandise without resorting to buying bootlegs at Recto. Plus, I've seen a picture of the creator, and well, he looks like a dork. But an intelligent dork, nonetheless...

In closing, I've made an observation while watching the new cartoon series "Tom and Jerry Tales" at Cartoon Network. I don't know about you, but is Tom (the cat) look kinda... old? His face looks wrinkled at the new cartoons. I guess being in a cat and mouse chase since 1940 would take it's toll on the poor cat. But that's just me...

Rants: Pupils' new video "Disconnection Notice" is proof that Ely Buendia has finally come out of his Eraserheads shadow. Bring "The Cure" here!!!! Valerie "Bangs" Garcia is my new fantasy woman... Hotchi Motchi!!!

-"the king"

Lame TV Shows, Music Faves and Milking Eraserheads...

2008-11-11T02:26:00.000-08:00

It is raining as I type this, and I would've preferred if there some blues music playing in the background, but I think better if there are no music playing...sometimes. It would set my mood for some bittersweet atmosphere. You could say the cold nights are almost here...

Ever since the historical Eraserheads reunion concert back in August, there have been many attempts to capitalize on the phenomenon that happened (*cough MYX cough*). There are feature articles, interviews from the people who mentored the band, documentaries on their rise and fall and their albums displayed prominently at record bars. While I do love their songs (my favorites are the unreleased track "Sa Tollgate", "Julie Tearjerky", "Ligaya" and "Minsan") and paved the way for other "garage" bands, this is a perfect example of "capitalizing" the craze. (just like P.Diddy did to the late Notorious B.I.G.) . But hey, if people wanted more of 'Heads factoids, fine by me... just don't overdo it.

There is a tv show I've watched a few years back on MTV. It's about a group of 5 people trying to break some world records travelling around the U.S.A. on their customized RV. It's called "Call to Greatness". I say it's more like "Call to LAMEness". I man, I don't know about you, but these records they're trying to break just border on the stupid and uselessness. Farthest throw using a Tuba player? Most number of Juggles using a Silicon? Farthest travel on a bed mounted with wheels for 20 minutes? Oh, C'mon!!! What happened to those simple records, like most number of burgers in one sitting? Well, at least they have a cool logo.

My current music faves playing at MTV or myx are the Various female artists "Just Stand Up" (Miley Cyrus' contribution there is really, really out of place.) The TingTing's "Shut Up and Let me Go" (nice video, too.) "If I were A Boy" by Beyonce (is it me, or do most of my faves are from divas? Gak!!!)

-"the king"

U.S. Economy, Friends and Drawing...

2008-10-31T23:08:00.000-07:00

There are a lot of things that happened, or a lot of things I have given thought to (which would give you an idea of how smart I am. I'm like that all the time...) besides the usual surfing through our obscure-but-still-useful laptop (name pending) read and amazed at the 100th issue of FHM (Hachi Machi!!! Rowr!) and played more games at Venus.

There is this one post at my usual website where I get my toy, erm, collectible stuff news that really brought my attention, or at least gave me a glimpse of how hard life is at America. Here's a quote (or visit it at http://www.superarticulated.com/) " the U.S. economy is in a downward spiral, and because of rising oil costs and general inflation toy collecting has become very expensive of late... Also, I’ve just been really busy lately with… life. As such, I’ve hit a sort of crossroads. I feel like right now I need to be saving what money I have instead of spending it on action figures. I know that’s a bummer, but it is what it is...I’m not going anywhere. I just can’t really afford new toys these days!"

Coming from a guy (which I don't know much about him, but hey, common ground) who collects toys and something like that came out of his mouth (figuratively), you could say that the economy is really in DEEP FRIED SH*T. I guess that we really need to focus on the important stuff. I've also given thought on the things I buy. Could probably do with bootlegged items.

Also, even though I feel like I'm always working, I'm glad that I'm still able to see my college friends and do some crazy stuff. Although their idea of a good time is somewhat...timid, they're a good theraphy for the stressed. I've got to admit there are some things that I wish I could have done while I'm at college ( I believe that I also posted this comment a few months ago...) But hey, that's why there is a word such as progress...

I miss the times when I was able to speak to them on the phone and just talk about anything and the constant advice, but LIFE HAPPENED. Ah well, I wish that we would still be in contact with each other...

Speaking of friends, my friend really made his dream come true, by releasing his independent comic book (the xeroed kind) to the public. I was finally able to see the actual, tangible work from my friend. I know he wants to do this for some time now, and I'm happy for him. (Plug: check out their works at http://www.deviantart.com/ with the keyword silent sanctum. My friend, I'll be expecting my free comic anytime soon...)

I want to draw, y'know. Like release some of my "portfolio" to deviantart but the thing is,

1. I need a scanner
2. Learn that damn Photoshop and,
3. Time, motherf*ckin' Time.

Well, at least I'm writing, still able to grind my creative gears. And I doodle. I also keep some good story ideas to myself for future bucks. Maybe I'm posting this because I believe in the future, and that someday...

I will.

(now how's that for dramatic?)

-"the king"

The "Try It" List...

2008-10-25T05:33:00.000-07:00

Whoa, it's been that long, huh? Haven't had much time these past few weeks to post, what with some new downloaded games for Venus (my psp), went (almost) drunk at a friend's one-year-old child birthday and well, really, just got lazy.

But I've mustered enough strength and went to our home PC and decided to post some motherf*ckin' blog!!! I've also thought of a new subject matter for today's post. I call it the "try it" list. Basically some things I've tried and liked it. Whether it's a videogame, music or tv show I've recently devulged in, I say to all you people who are bored out of their mind, "TRY IT" :

... painter extraordinaire Alex Ross was currently commissioned to work on the cover of the kollector's edition of theNorth American version of Mortal Kombat v.s. DC Universe for the PS3 and Xbox360. The image is very innovative. Check it here : http://www.alexrossart.com/rossreport.asp?id=462I hope the gameplay is good. I mean, who wouldn't want to play as Batman crackin' skulls with Scorpion? TRY IT...

....Watch the Jason Segel-lead (the tall guy from another hit sitcom How I Met Your Mother) movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall on whatever format that you could find (i.e. pirated) It's the funniest movie I've ever seen. It's about a songwriter who just got dumped by his hot celebrity girlfriend. The guy is so devastated by the breakup that he went to hawaii to froget about her when she is also on the island along with her new boyfriend. The movie is so witty and features one nude scene. I'm not gonna say who, just TRY IT...

.... If you love tongue-in-cheek parody of famous video game characters crammed in one game, then try the psp or ps2 version of Asterix and Obelix XXL 2 (either versions are identical) For those not in the know, Asterix is a famous European comic book character in a time when Rome is invading all parts of the world. He is almost as old as Spiderman. But if you know your European comic culture, they prefer non-superhero stories, focusing more on real adventures of people. And even though the game is short (you could finish it in a weekend) it's still fun to play. Anyway, the game has full of videogame character references, here's a short list: Sam Fisher , Ryu, Sonic the Hedgehog, Crash Bandicoot, Donkey Kong, Mario, Ratchet and Clank, Space Invaders, Lara Croft and Rayman. Whew! That's a long list. TRY IT...

... Lastly, try listening to Natasha Bedingfield's new single " Pocket full of Sunshine" It's very upbeat and colorful. TRY IT...

Well that's all the things I want to lay some dirt on you people... stay sharp, and I can't wait for the complete season 4 of How I Met your Mother. Awesome!!!!!

- "the king"

Big Surprises, Turning 23 and Ellen Degeneres...

2008-10-04T18:38:00.000-07:00

My Birthday just passed by, albeit many people seemed to forget that my birthday was last September 29 and not 30. A well, I appreciate the effort anyway. It's also hard to invite old friends over since they're busy (even on a Sunday? Even on a Sunday, friend.) I guess it won't be long before only a few would still be communicated. Also, turning 23 doesn't really change much. Quoting Garfield, " I'm learning something new every day!... And forgetting two things."

It's pretty surprising how things came out. Take, for example, channel 5, now called TV5. Last time there were numerous revamps that really fizzled. But this time it really blown out of that little channel that nobody cared about. I love watching the new movies, Ogags (i.e. Pinoy Jackass) Seems they were challenged by the past article written by that obviously-gay Butch Francisco titled (somewhat) "Why Channel 5 will never be Famous"

Another example worth noting is that gigantic building near the Monumento (which would give you the idea of where I live. Kinda.) For years that is just a worthless "white elephant" No one is using it. But now it was reincarnated as the Victory Central Mall. Many people go there for some cheap clothes, quality food and business oppurtunities. There are like 6 floors there that the top floors still haven't been used. If ever you readers would pass by Monumento, give it a try.

I'm always duped into buying an item I regularly wouldn't buy just because of two words pasted into the said product: "Limited Edition". I'm a sucker for those. (Sample Scenario: "Cool, a limited-Edition eyeliner? I've gotta buy one!!!)

Rants: Glad that Hale has shifted their subject matter to happier and melodic songs. After all, leave it to those f*ck Emo Bands. Speaking of Emo, it won't be long that those silly haircuts will be gone... replaced by sillier hairdo!!! Crap!!! Ellen Degeneres' show is very heartwarming, but I really hate how she talks. She stutters so much (just like me, fine.) Rico Blanco's new single "Yugto" does compare well to Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody"

-"the king"

Bringing Back My Gamer Side...

2008-09-24T19:28:00.000-07:00

I've been pretty busy lately, having purchased a PSP with the cash given by my folks as a Christmas and Birthday rolled into one (how do you like them apples?) I've also christened her "Venus", based on the Roman God of... something. I forgot my mythology, you can just look it up at Wikipedia. At first my choices are "Ehra" (for my current fantasy female) or "Morena" (my preferred color of a woman) but opted for a more universal and "cleaner' name. Weird, but I like to name my game systems, like my old Playstation2 "Bubbles".

The PSP is a very multimedia machine, and to me, stomps the f*ckin' Nintendo DS and eats it for dinner. Honestly, the games for the DS, while somewhat creative (with the use of the dual-screens and a stylus) are too gimmicky and childish.

And yeah, I'm glad I got my GAMER side back. It's been like two years since I've played in a home console. I've only settled in those Timezone arcades with the usual shooting, basketball and pinball these past few months. While great, I clamor for a cinematic and long gameplay experience. In other words, I'm glad I'm back, baby!!!

And oh, yeah, that custom toy? It's good, but not great. Some of paint is chipping off, and one of clay that is placed on the figure fell off. But nonetheless, the dude is faithful (somewhat) to my designs... I'll post a pic soon as my computer doesn't recognize any USB... F*ck.

Rants... I really hate people who post too much of their pictures in Friendster. I hate those "Japanese" ( your pointing and middle finger raised like a peace sign fashioned sideways near the eye.) Heck, I know one particular female who does that, and it f*ckin' pisses me off. You know who you are. Haha. The Jonas Brothers need to die... Or get out of the fanbase of giggly 11-17 year old girls.

- "the king"

Toy Chest, Nostalgia and Relaxation...

2008-09-10T23:58:00.000-07:00

It's particularly a slow week today, or the fact I'm not in my ranting mood (which is a lucky break for all stupid stuff, horrible songs and anything Hale/Spongecola) So rejoice if you'll find this post pretty short. I, for one, would prefer some blog posts to be concise...

A few posts ago I said that I want to purchase the complete set of Legendary Comic Book Heroes Series 2 or the "Monkeyman Series"(http://indie.superarticulated.com/2007/12/03/legendary-comic-book-heroes-series-2/#more-93) since I saw a complete set at a department store, but I found it to be expensive. Well, guess what, I managed to buy them all at a discounted price!!! Seems the local distributor of the toy line and the like decided to cut 1/3% of the price since it is a year old. I managed to "score" all six of the figures and connected the 11-inch tall, 7-inch wide Monkeyman!!! Sweet!!! He's big, has lots of articulation and a darn f*ckin' monkey.

Y'know, call me a nerd, but I find it amusing to have these figures. Well, to each his own. After all, I see a guy fiddling with his car (or "ride") and you don't see me call him a "mechanic jerk" or "grease monkey" Plus, I've also taken interest in designing new looks for established characters and have a toy customizer build it using some scrap action figures. I've already given him an assignment. Will it be gnarly? Find out soon...

I've uncovered some stuff while fixing my room and man, nostalgia really creeps you when you look at a photograph or some random stuff from the past. Here's a post from my Music.Love... blog about it: " I've been on a nostlagic trip lately, looking at old photographs and visiting friends. I miss those days, and not all the power of the world can bring them back, unless you have a Delorean from the movie trilogy Back to the Future. See? That's an old movie, and that's proof of me being nostalgic. And do you guys remember local anime magazine Questor? Or Nickelodeon cartoon Action League Now? It's good to remember... "

Lastly, it is important to get some time for yourself. It adds years to your life and you look young than your birth-age. Here's some suggestions to relax, or as some people call it now, "chillax" :

- Shop for some crap
- Go online and laugh at some guy's post at a message board
- Read some blog and laugh at some guy's post
- Find interesting what-have-you's online
- Look at some chick's pics (e.g. http://www.ehramadrigal.com)

In closing, don't you find it REALLY irritating that some idiot would play their favorite music at a closed space or a public transportation? O r even hum/sing it? Makes you want to whack him/her/it a canteen tray on his/her/it head .

-"the king"

Pinball, Ehra Madrigal's "Twins" and Rule of Three...

2008-09-03T05:53:00.000-07:00

Well, as I'm posting this I'm pretty exhausted from work and the humid (have you all noticed how hot it is in the afternoon more than ever?) But I'm glad for my rest day today as I've a lot to catch up on lost sleep.

Y'know, even though work is stressful, I've always managed to enjoy my free time. Ever since I've tried to incorporate exercise in my visits to local arcade Timezone at Waltermart Makati (you can easily identify me there wearing pambahay clothes) I'm grown addicted to pinball. Yes, motherf*ckin' PINBALL. I admit, At first it seems daunting to play, what with all of the compex structures of the game and the rather expensive play. But I gave it a try (it was a Lord of the Rings-themed table.) and I never stopped. I don't care if it's 18php per play. I like racking up massive points and catching the attention of curious onlookers, probably thinkin' Man this kid can play. I even tried the The Simpsons and Pirates of the Caribbean-themed tables at other Timezone branches. I'll bet that there are local serious devotees of this ancient game, and I hope there are tournaments that I could join. They say that pinball is bad becuse it's a game of chance, not skill. Not true. But what I can say is it is like a slot machine. It's damn addicting...

Seeing Ehra Madrigal's picture at the Bench Underwear show really gets my blood pumping. I mean, damn she's hot. What I fear is that her body, upon closer inspection (*wink wink*) is the type that is very pudgy if not given the proper attention. In short, matabain. May I suggest that I take care of her figure? Heheheh... Let me also quote a classic line from my friendster blog: "THOSE.ARE.THE.BIGGEST.PERFECT.BREASTS.WE.HAVE.EVER.SEEN.EVER...I feel like Jim Carrey's character's reaction in the movie Liar Liar where he's in the elevator with a new tenant and this buxom chick wanted to know why many fellow tenants are nice to her. "

I've been meaning to write about the significance of the number three (3). I believe it is time to disclose to all of you my fantastic theory. Y'see, back at first year college, a proxy prof taught us how to draw human faces and anatomy. He gave us a "rule of three"; basically a technique to equally divide parts of the face and body to achive dimension and realism. Then a few years later I've deduced that all things are balanced in threes. There's Jokes. (you notice that all "wala ka sa lolo ko..." jokes have three persons telling stories before building up to the punchline?) Composition ( an artist balances an artwork using an imaginary triangle.) Even pinball gives you three tries to get a high score. Some of you may disagree with me, but I dare say it is real...

Rants: The Eraserheads Reunion concert did rejuvenate OPM music. I've heard people who sells cigarettes sing tunes of "Kailan" on the street. I say, there should be a Part Two, or else.

-"the king"

Groening, Monster Trucks and Dealing with College Students...

2008-08-24T04:01:00.000-07:00

I gotta admit, I always wanted to dedicate a little bit of time collecting subjects to discuss (or rant) in this blog of mine. It's very fulfilling to express your thoughts in the world wide web, where almost everybody can get famous. As much as possible, I also don't want to post personal-diary stuff on my blog. Why? Well, 1. It can get dramatic 2. People don't really want to know what you did during the day (unless it is of scandalous nature, or you're a damn celebrity) and 3. well, I just had to inlude the number 3. It is a universal number. You'll find out soon...

Anyway, I've bought a July 2008 issue of Playboy Philippines simply because of an interview with The Simpsons creator Matt Groening. His answers are very informative and funny. Here's an excerpt (buy the issue...)

On the Movie: " We're playing around with the pacing. No, we're not padding it with a lot of songs. We tried."

The Simpsons Hair: "...what was memorable in cartoons was characters you could identify in silohoutte. That's why [they] have distinctive hairlines"

On the thousands of merchandise: "We have turned a few things down, believe it or not. We turned down Simpsons slot machines..."

On memory: " I can't remember... having done 400 episodes... I have only a certain amount of space in my brain for Simpsons knowledge."

Having also watched an episode of Monster Jam (http://www.monsterjamonline.com) showing on Maxxx, I have come to a conclusion that this is the kind of television that you will be entertained and watch for a few minutes. It stacks up there with wrestling and Olympics.

It would be entertaining and grand if I would become a professor at a college. For one, I would make my students research their assignments and projects the old-fashioned way: library. I wouldn't allow them to research it online. It would be too easy. I experienced that this generation is a point-click-copy-paste generation. They would rather dedicate their time playing DOTA (which I'm a fan of) than hit the books. So I would make sure that their research is not, shall I say, a Wikipedia-ripped one. Haha...

Do check out this site: http://www.flamingmayo.com/firstchurchofpacman It is an extremely well-written and insult-laden site for fans of that yellow, gluttonous 8-bit videogame icon. It may lack menus (all of the information is placed on one page.) but it is very informative. Check it even if you're not a videogame freak (Gasp! How dare you??!!) I love listening also to Urbandub's new single "Fight Is Over" and Weezer's "Pork And Beans"

- "the king"

Random Rants , Quasi-Sex Scenes and Common Assholes...

2008-08-10T05:52:00.001-07:00

Y'know, I've been doing some heavy thinking (a rare feat) and wondered what makes this blog different from my Friendster http://vicktuhworld.blogs.friendster.com/musiclovegorespoofscrapmo/ blog?

Well, my Friendster blog has more history and a cult following. This, however, I've tried to be more interactive, adding links and font colors to add attention to the reader (which I'm hoping is developing) and I guess all my thoughts are a little personal now, telling my stories. All my posts will be placed on this and not my Music.Love.Gore... blog. Although I don't want to ignore my original fans... (notice my celebrity twang...)

It's also really hard not to post some very mean stuff on people you hate. I would love to, but I fear that I might regret it in the future. And besides, it's pretty juvenile and will add more to my receding hairline. (OK, I admit it, but I'll expound on it at another time.) So, I'll just quote my early post " There are many cruel, ugly, stupid and snobbish people on this earth...F*CK YOU, YOU CRUEL, UGLY, STUPID AND SNOBBISH PEOPLE THAT I KNOW"

A few days ago I was able to watch on DVD the movie "Good Luck Chuck" starring Dane Cook and the very statuesque Jessica Alba. The movie is very sexist (it has a 3% rating at rottentomatoes.com http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/good_luck_chuck/) but despite that, I enjoyed it. Heck, all testosterone-driven men will like the movie (I love actor Dan Fogler's horny-as-hell character). It has, in my opinion, the best quasi-sex scene of a movie. The part where Cook and Alba are kissing each other and Cook prefers his women to be bra-less. Alba, infatuated by Cook, takes out her bra from her blouse. Wow. And the part where Alba is seducing Cook by undressing him and herself plus whsipering "this is gonna be your best night ever..." And also the part where Cook, trying to avoid physically seeing Alba as fear of his "charm" might affect her, she tries to convince him to come to her house, even doing phone sex and sending a racy picture. And when he did, hallwathey really wrecked Alba's living room and the hallway leading to her bedroom. Man, it's good!!! Just watch the damn movie...

Random rants: Jason Statham and Jet Li faced off in an action movie, so why not Vin Diesel and Dwayne "The Rock"Johnson? The two actors are well-built and have appeared in action and comedy films. Remember Dino-Riders? They're so cool (check out this website http://www.dinoriders.com/. Too bad my toys are either broken or incomplete. Lastly, check out this website, http://garfieldminusgarfield.net/ where they explored " existential angst of a certain young Mr. Jon Arbuckle. It is a journey deep into the mind of an isolated young everyman as he fights a losing battle against loneliness and depression in a quiet American suburb." In layman's terms, making Mr. Arbuckle more pathetic than ever. It's very "alternative" and disturbing at the same time...

-"the king"

Libido And Floodwater Rising...

2008-07-31T19:45:00.002-07:00

Yesterday was something else. I have one of the most terrible and near-death experience (you read that right...) that happened to me.

It was August 31, the night before that me and my officemates watched a musical and acrobatic show held in PAGCOR Paranaque called Wanders. I'm sure that you people saw it on tv and some print media. We got FREE front-row tickets courtesy of my generous officemate (thanks, ailene!!!) The show was great, there are lots of breathtaking stunts performed by these Chinese and Russian acrobats. But the one thing that stood out is an act where there are lots of flamboyant women gyrating in skimpy outfits. Wow. There's even a chick being lowered from the ceiling sitting in a swing. That's like one of my fantasies. That act is like what the inside of my head is like. Hahahaha...

After some minor gambling and drinking, I got home to Makati late next morning and slept for a while. I was about to go home to Malabon when rain poured outside. It rained hard. After it drizzled a little, I decided to go home. To my surprise, there's floodwater everywhere!!! From the route I'm supposed to take (Gil Puyat going to LRT Station) I waded in hip-deep of flood. There are lots of stranded passengers and cars stuck in flood. There are instances when a bus would pass by and there's a wave hitting us. It was crazy.

Then when I passed the landmark, functioning Railroad near a famous Condo, I almost went straight ahead at what I thought was a puddle. Good thing some guy stopped me and informed that that was a canal. It was very deep and if nobody stopped me, I would have fallen there and maybe taken by a current and got washed up to Manila Bay. Seriously, I'm glad somebody stopped me. I admit I forgot that canal and was a little ignorant. I thank the heavens above that I am still here, blogging.

Random Rants: Pedicab's new single "Ang Pusa Mo" is raunchy, violent and has an infectous beat. Plus it has chicks!!! Two of them I recognize: Dylan from JACK TV's The PEEP Show and cosplay chick Alodia Gosiengfiao (check her out http://blackmage9.deviantart.com/) I have read news that Marvel Toys will not produce any "Legendary ComicBook Heroes" line anymore (see pics at http://www.actionfigureinsider.com/gallery2/album/AFI-Panel-Marvel-Toys-ToyBiz/index.php?page=1), so I have interests of buying their second wave and building the figure MonkeyMan http://indie.superarticulated.com/2007/12/03/legendary-comic-book-heroes-series-2/#more-93. A retail store near Monumento carries all of the figures, so I plan to purchase them all, despite the combined 3000php price tag. Let's just see what happens... I need to check my salary first.

- "the king"

Starting Out with A Bang...

2008-07-24T03:02:00.000-07:00

This is, for the most part, the hardest part. Thinking of a subject to write about is always tricky. It's like when you're at the Videoke Bar and that giant Songbook was handed to you and then forgetting what you want to sing (you know that happens to you) or when you're downloading songs for your MP3 Player (or iPod, whatever, ) and forgetting what you wanted at the first place. I could go on and on and on...

Well, what can I talk about?

How about the fact I'm not new at this, y'see, my little chickadees, if you have a Friendster (the ultimate stalker material!) account, http://vicktuhworld.blogs.friendster.com/musiclovegorespoofscrapmo/, I've been "blogging" for almost three years now. I must admit, I have a few "fans" and "critics" but nontheless I've poured my insulting side on that blog. From band Typecast's fugly hair to Winnie the Pooh's weird voice, I've insulted it all. And I'm not stopping 'coz you people care... Maybe.

And, I love my blog title. Music.Love.Gore.Spoofs.Crap.More? Why that title? Well, let me qoute my blog entry three years ago, "as you can see, my blog name is inspired by album titles of gwen stefani (love.angel.music.baby) and stereophonics (or is their name dakota? both words are good band names.)
they're summarized and embodies most on my mind. i don't know, it sounds catchy and such. "

And I do random rants there so here goes: SpiderMan 3 action figures are a good bargain. Discounted at 200php, they're very detailed and has lots of articulation. Buy them now at your nearest Toystore. '57 Chevy Bel-Air rocks. The EraserHeads Reunion Concert will rejuvenate good ol' OPM... Maybe.

-"the king"