The Torpe Road Aftermath

It has been less than 3 weeks since I’ve finished my “The Torpe Road” series and I was glad it was over. Looking at my track record of making something, I have the tendency na hindi tapusin yung nasimulan ko. With that said, I was really happy to tell my story to the world and all the reactions I have gotten. There were times na nagugulat ako sa sarili ko at kaya kong magsulat ng isang passionate na blog post. Here are some of the quotes that I received from those who have read it:

“Ayos tong story mo man. I actually read the whole thing”

“nice blog dude”

“nice one”

“detalyado masyado nakalagay”

“thanks for the memories (teary eyed) hahaha...”

“nabasa ko blog mo. Maganda…”

“im now a fan…”

“ayos yung blog mo na the Torpe Road a”

“ok naman nakakarelate ...dapat sayo mag DJ kanalang pare se

ryoso“

“naalala ko ata lahat yan lol”

“kinda maganda”

“damn it! where is the like button? *fist bump

And of course I would get this:

“masyadong mahaba”

Lazy cretins.

One of most thought-provoking reactions that I got is from a friend on the office. She said that I seemed pretty proud for telling my story sa mga niligawan ko, that I seemed to embrace my failures and that the “The Torpe Road Series” exposed my personality more. Hey, without knowing your failures and learning from it, you wouldn’t get far. Hats off to her.

Anyway, what surprised me is I received violent reactions from the people I have written about 9 months after I have posted my story. At sila pa yung di ko ine-expect na magre-react (in fact, I was just expecting one). Alam ko naman na me mag-rereact, di ko lang inasahan na ganito katagal. Just shows how today’s generation got lazy and would prefer to watch the movie adaptation instead of reading the actual novel. That, and also walang magbabasa ng blog mo kung di mo binanggit ang isang kakilala mo, na ikwekwento ng kakilala nya, and so on and so forth.And the reactions from these people that they’ve posted are something else. I read them and kita mo na me pinaghuhugutan, na she didn’t like me ever since. And the other one misinterpreted my story on her. Kids today. Sheesh.

I felt it is proper to make a post on my blog to have my say on what they’ve said to me, ‘coz some of them are sorta low-blow. So what I’ll do is show to you people what they’ve said, and then explain more clearly my opinion and what they should understood…

Read this post first here, then get back here...

“For the record, kaya hindi ako nagpaligaw sayo kasi obvious ang desperation mong mgka-gf! My Gad! Sa sobrang desperate, pumasok ka sa callcenter kasi alam mo na dun madami chicks, madaming bading, konti lalaki. may 90% chance ka talaga mgka-gf dun! Yakang-yaka naman ang [my name]. Wag mag-feeling! (uunahan ko na, hindi ko nilalahat ang callcenter, karamihan lang!)“

See? Talagang me pinaghuhugutan. While she may be true that I was kinda desperate sa pagliligaw sa kanya, my reasons for working in a call center is because I want to get a high-paying job. To quote myself, “I know na medyo malayo sya sa pinag-aralan ko, pero one thing led to another. Besides, I don’t want to be that one guy na 8 buwan na naghahanap ng trabaho na related sa work nya at wala pa ring mahanap, or yung nakahanap nga ng ganung trabaho pero nasa isang environment na paulit-ulit ang tinutugtog na pambatang kanta at walang water dispenser sa pinagta-trabahuhan nila. Believe me, I know some people.” I never knew that the ratio of man to woman is 1:4 not until I was already there.

And by the way, hayop sa english skills ah! very..hmm..artistic? Sa uste mo natutunan?

Back then I was already well-versed in writing and speaking in English. I’ve already been writing blogs in Friendster. And hey, this is art in itself. Art is not limited to just painting strokes on a canvas. Art is, as defined by Merriam-Webster, “skill acquired by experience, study or observation”. A skater doing backflips, a speaker having his stand on pollution and writing a fictitious story is an art form in itself.

Read this post first here, and then get back here…

you do need a permission to use other peoples picture or they can sue you... (so think)

While this can be done, it just would look silly asking for permission to get a photo and that person asking you why, and then telling that person why. It would just complicate things. Di syapractical. It was a calculated risk. And besides, madaming mga Facebook fan page na kumukuha ng photos sa ibang tao, dapat ma-sara na sila kung ganun.

and people who think so low about teaching? what do you know? ...pati profession ko as a teacher tinira mo? ndi kana masaya sa mga pinagsusulat mo, matira mo lng ang isang tao dahil napaka bitter mo, yes we couldn't get that high salary they are paying in your field, but we meet and share life and grow together, I earn respect, love and happiness.

Now I never made fun of her profession as a teacher, what I’ve said was, “she pursued her passion for the arts by becoming an Art teacher at her High School. She had a handful with the students because she is teaching First Year to Fourth Year sections. Siguro kulang sa pera yung Alumni nya to get more teachers.” Clearly I am questioning her Alumni’s budget to get more teachers, and not making fun of Teachers. It just wouldn’t be right because I was also taught by teachers, that’s why I can do Trigonometry and speak in a large group of people.

So there. I had my say, if ever they wouldn’t invite me to any reunions, I’ll respect their decision. But honestly, I could care less, I want to write more and explore the world…

In closing, a colleague comforted me by saying that we are shock artistes, we live for reactions.

- "the king"

The Torpe Road Conclusion

And here we are again, to end all that needs to be ended. It was fun while it lasted, despite my unpredictability to keep the story moving because of my failure to keep the gears on my brain working. I mean, sure, I could have just write all of it in 2-3 months, but it just wouldn’t be the same. Mawawala ang wit, ang humor and most especially, the passion (naks!) to tell the most wonderful story ever done since The Notebook by Nicholas Parks. Or maybe Hachiko: A Dog’s Story (kahit di ko pa napanuod yung either versions sa DVD.) Again, before we begin, I would like to extend my gratitude to all those who read, natawa and nakarelate sa mga sinulat ko. You made this Torpe guy happy. Mas matutuwa pa ko kung na-recommend nyo pa ito sa mga kakilala nyo. At kung sinabi na “ayoko, ang haba naman” you have my permission to maul him/her.

Now that is out of the way what I find interesting is I promised myself na isusulat ko lang yung mga experiences ko sa mga niligawan ko, at hindi sa mga girlfriend ko. Pero I felt like it just wouldn’t be right if I didn’t tell my story on them. And besides, I only had 2 girlfriends (I’m a late bloomer, really), so this will be short. I decided not to tell all since some are pretty intimate.Sa amin-amin na lang yung ibang detalye.

It was 2008. So there I was, being dumped again for the 8^th time by Singapore at work. I was so frustrated at the world that I just want to piss at it. No girl is giving a damn on me so I felt like I just want to concentrate on work, be with my friends and laugh at everything and just let a potential girl come to me. Ayoko na maghirap pa. Kung me magparamdam man o wala, okey lang sa akin, I’m having fun without a girlfriend. It seemed the most logical thing to do during that time.

Until I met this girl at our office. She will be named Cubao. Cubao is of average height, almost at 5’6, has long shiny black hair, a distinguishing mole at her upper lip and a morena. One attention-grabbing thing here is she works as a security guard in our office. Now before you all raise your eyebrows and say something demeaning like “pumatol ka sa guard?, Lola na ba yan???” or “bumaba na standards mo p’re” hear me out. For one, she is not your ordinary security guard. She was statuesque. In short, seksi nya. In fact, what attracted me

when I first saw her at the front of the glass door separating our production floor from the lobby is her hubog. She had curves on the right places.

She was new to the agency pero di ko sya napansin until mga few days ago. I remember when really I saw her I did a double take. Parang, “wow, guard ito???” What’s really amazing about me and men in particular is sasabihin mo na ayaw mo na umibig ulet, pero once na me nakita ka na natipuhan mo, gagaling agad ang puso mong nasaktan. Which is what happened to me. I would go in out of the doors more often and talk to her. I remember when she asked me what my name is I gave a fake one. I gave Armando, if I’m not mistaken.

Then one time after work it was still in the afternoon and I was already at home since malapit lang ako sa office I have decided out of the blue to get her number. I mustered enough courage and reviewed the tips given to me by my friends and when I stepped out of the elevator I saw her with a fellow male guard. She was playing with a rubber ball since mga ganung oras wala nang tao sa production floor at petix mode na lang. I asked for her number and she obliged. I texted her in the evening and dun na nagsimula lahat.

Sa mga sumusunod na araw me routine na ko: after work, tambay muna sa office para makipag-kwentuhan kay Cubao. Then after her shift nagte-text-an kami. I learned a lot about her dahil sa pag-tatambay ko. She finished College from Davao but one thing lead to another that’s why she took the job of a security guard, likes Hamonado and treats her hair with hot oil. What I also found out that surprised me is that we have a 7-year age gap. But honestly, it wasn’t a factor. Heck, di nga pansin sa itsura nya. We clicked and I felt na me tsansa ako sa kanya. I guess we have that feeling.

A month or two after that first meeting, I asked her the magic question during one time na hinatid ko sya pauwi. Kung tayo na ba. She said yes and I can’t remember what happened after but I feel like a million bucks. I was the happiest guy on the world during that time.

After 23 years of being single, I’m a boyfriend to someone.

News spread fast on the office. Some of my officemates gave me a “mental fist bump”, congratulating me on the effort that I did. She is a looker, after all. There is also the usual teasing, like “uuyyy, si [my name] binata na”, “makakapasok na si [my name] ng kahit ano sa loob ng production floor” and “pag-swipe ng scanner nya me kasama pang kiss”. But I didn’t mind. Kasama talaga yun pag me nalamang balita na me jowa ka.

Speaking of kiss, with Cubao it was the first time I had an “intimate” kiss. Torpe as I am, I was not a “dude with no kiss experience”. I had my first kiss with a gradeschool classmate. Then after that I had some run-ins with some “bars” but it wasn’t passionate. There was no emotion involved. With Cubao I got that. I remember during Highchool a classmate of mine said to me that kissing a girl is no different from kissing your own skin. He even demonstrated by kissing his hand. I guess he has his opinion (and besides, gwapo rin sya so I’m sure nakarami na yun ng babae) , but for me, iba pa rin eh.

We were able to go out and watch movies and shop around on malls, despite her tight schedule. I was even able to meet her older brother one time. What I like about her is regardless of the age gap, or the “November-December” affair, she can be easily amused. Natatawa sya agad sa mga jokes ko. And her maturity helps when we have arguments; we can never be mad with each other for more than a day. I guess you could say I found the girl I’ve been looking for, unconventional as it may seem.

But alas. Things started to get complicated for me to handle and kapal man ng mukha ko, I just don’t know what to do that time, I LET GO… As I’ve written on a blog post years ago “…accepted a terrible fate and moved on.” While I cannot expound much on what happened, let’s just say that I was placed in a situation where I had to make a choice and my decision made me break up with her. She got hurt and I was depressed during the next few days. I wasn’t able to move on properly so I still “became friends” with her in the strictest sense. Kinakamusta ko sya sa work, tine-text ko pa at kumain pa kame sa labas. I know it sounds pathetic, but I thought that I’d let her first find someone then stop pestering her.

This occurred for a couple of months but then something happened in a way where I saw how she can get angry that I decided not to talk or pansinin na sya. Maybe it’s just karma for what I did to her before or a method from the Heavens to stop me from dwelling on the past, but I had to toughen up and just throw my lovelife in disregard. I remember na pinatugtog ko yung kantang “The Last Time” by Eric Benet habang naghuhugas ako ng pinggan sa bahay. This time, I had enough. My only consolation is I was able to experience being a boyfriend and at least di ako mamatay na single since birth. Hey, some people are a lot Torpier than me.

And well, you know what happened after that if you’ve been following my “Road” series. Our team had a new agent, fresh from training. She will be named Fairview.

Fairview is of average height, almost at 5’4. She has long flowing black hair up to her upper arm, has a petite frame and a very distinguishing face. I only saw her when she was taking calls when I was just about to go my respective station. I thought that she’s an agent from another team who took up our space because there are no more available stations. I was introduced to her and several of my teammates by my Team Manager. When I saw her she looked cute and wanted to get to know her better. I was given that chance when my Team Manager made me sat next to her because she needed someone to help her with the concerns of the callers. What was really amusing about that time is I “broke the ice” with some corny jokes.

Me: May joke ako sa mayonnaise…

Fairview: Ano?

Me: Wag na, baka i-spread mo eh… Ito na lang, me joke ako sa dahon…

Fairview : Ano yun ?

Me: Wag na, green eh…

Really clichéd as it is, it helped me introduce myself to her despite the forced laugh from her. I learned from our talks between taking calls that this is her second job, likes 90’s Tagalog romance movies (Jolina-Marvin, Rico Yan-Claudine, John Lloyd-Bea etc.) and rates Sinigang na Baboy as her favorite food. Nagustuhan ko na sya nun since she’s very down-to-earth and very girly, something I look for in a girlfriend. The only problem is she has a boyfriend that is still working on her previous company. Pero sinabi nya na medyo nagkakalabuan na sila because of the “things men do”. I just thought that I should just be there for her when she really needs it, most especially those times. What’s really outstanding about my time with Fairview is that di ako humingi masyado ng payo sa mga kaibigan ko. Every joke, comfort and any manly thing I did to her, sariling kayod ko lang. You could say that my “teachers” (Bone Guy, Air Man 2 and Smooth Guy, see Part 7) taught me well.

I just waited patiently for the time when they would break up so I would seize the opportunity. That time did come and I presented myself in a different manner to her. We ate at some nearby restaurants after shift and I would accompany her to her ride home. It was that moment where my brain asked a question that has been bothering me ever since I found out that she’s single: “Pare, di ka ba mukhang rebound lang nyan?”

That’s when I asked some advice to my “teachers” and a few officemates and all of them gave me the same conclusion: “Wag mo na isipin yun masyado”, “Sa tingin mo papatulan nya lang yung unang nanligaw sa kanya after sya nakipag-break dun sa jowa nya???” “Di importante yun, pake nila???” I heeded their advice and I even asked her out to watch a movie and she said yes. It was that time at the mall that I got to know her better. I even presented to her my passion for collectibles in a toy store. She even learned my time with Cubao. What was really touching and showed that she also had interest in me is she bought me a toy that I’ve been looking at for some time during our date at the mall. I’ve been meaning to buy it but it’s a little expensive. That was very memorable and sweet.

A few days have gone by and eventually I became a little demanding and on the last few minutes of the shift I said to Fairview that our time together would be useless pag hindi pa naging tayo. She checked the clock on her telephone where she is taking calls and marked it as our official time as a couple. I was very, very proud of myself.

I saw in Fairview a very sweet woman, who makes little gestures that makes you feel loved. She also loves my jokes and my constant commentary sa lahat ng bagay na nakikita ko. While we do have our differences on music and movie choices, it was never an issue. And while we do have our ups and downs, they are not enough to bring our relationship to an end. We’ve been to places, celebrated birthdays, gone on countless dates, ate at a dozen restaurants, saw a lot of different kinds of movies, laughed together, met the potential in-laws, met each other’s friends, shared stories and so on and so forth.

I’d like to think that the UPs are what makes it worth it in a relationship, while the DOWNs are the ones that make us think if it really is worth it. So is she worth the journey that I’ve been through? Is she the diamond in the rough na matagal ko nang hinahanap? Is Fairview my “End of the Torpe Road?”

Ay pare, p*t*ng*na, oo…

In the strictest sense ,for now,

THE END.

The Torpe Road Part 8

At times we have a motto that best reflects what happened in a part (or “slice”) of our life. It can either be something that changed how you handle situations or your train of thought. It can also be something that many people follow, like those found in many self-help books. Each and every one of us has mottoes, but I know this particular one you people have experienced. It goes:

“Those who don’t know history are doomed to repeat it.”

That simple but deep saying is what this post is all about. Sure, I could cite some examples supporting this saying, like the succeeding People Power movements that occurred in the Philippines, or the U.S. invasion of Vietnam and Iraq, and that question in an exam that you heard or saw before, pero di mo binigyan ng pansin na feeling mo di mo na siya makikita muli. But in a nutshell it’s all about me not learning from my past experiences with women. It seems I never really learn.

It was the second half of 2006, and I am working in a call center. I have met a lot of friends in my batch ranging from unusually-looking transvestites, working students and people who work for a couple of months and then “jump” to another call center company (we call those “call center hoppers”). We were already in the stage of taking calls and seeing if we are ready to be transferred to a team or if we still need training. Luckily, all of us pass and one really lucky thing here is a small part of our batch would be made into a whole new team, led by a newly promoted Team Manager. Nasama ako dun sa team so di na ako mahihirapan sa pagkikilala sa kanila. The others were placed on other existing teams and I believe that our closeness with each other made them feel alienated so they resigned a few months after. It was sad, but it didn’t matter to me. I was all set to be a “yuppie” or “young professional”. My team consists of my close buddies on training (as I have talked about on my previous post), as well as this unique girl, which we will Singapore.

Singapore is petite, but not small. She has long black hair up to her forearms and has a faint moustache (like with Qatar, see Part 3). She has this cute smile and uncanny innocence that would make you want to talk to her (more on that later). Besides that she is from the same training class I’m in, me pumorma na rin sa kanya sa class namin before pero di sya sineryoso. She is the best friend ng niligawan ko before, si Bacolod (see previous post). She is also from Bacolod and also took the course of being a teacher.

Okay, okay, okay. Alam ko na kung anong sasabihin nyo sa akin. “Di ka pa ba natuto sa nangyari sa iyo dati nung Highschool?” or “Best friend nanaman ng niligawan mo before ang popormahan mo?” But hear me out. Let me tell you the rest of my story before you roll your eyes and stop reading this. Sipain ko kayo eh, malayo na nabasa nyo. Sayang naman yun.

Anyway, even before I was making my moves on Bacolod I already met Singapore then. She’s not really outspoken and talks softly. I guess probinsyanas are really shy (well, some of them anyway). She’s with us whenever I was able to walk Bacolod to their boarding house or when I gave her gifts. When I noticed that Bacolod doesn’t give a damn about me, my senses quickly set on Singapore. She’s the girly type, which I prefer. And she does have this purity that would make you sit up and notice. But I hesitated, because I’ve been on this situation before back in Highschool. I don’t want to be that guy na magmumukhang chickboy. I thought to myself, “Easy lang p’re, wag kang magmadali. Makipag-kaibigan ka muna sa kanya bago mo isipin na ligawan sya.” That time I really wanted to make sure that she will be the one that will say “YES” when I would ask her the question. So I got close to her first, which was pretty easy.

It was not difficult because even before we were promoted to a team we were already paired up when taking calls. I remember our trainer did that because I talked fast, while she talked slow. Our improvement on taking calls depended on one of our talking styles rubbing off on each other. We talked, but it was nothing special, because our conversation goes like this:

Me: Singapore, okay ka pa ba dyan?

Singapore: Okay lang.

Me: Baka pagod ka na ha.

Singapore: Hinde.

Me: Sure ka ha?

Singapore: Oo.

Me: Sabihin mo lang ha, ako na bahala sa yo.

Singapore: Sige.

Yeah, I know, right? Sure, she’s not the most talkative person in the world, but it wouldn’t hurt to at least say something more than 2-3 syllables. I guess she’s the really, really, really shy type. Or I just have to get to know her more so she would open up. Feeling ko nasa loob yung kulo nya.

Luckily, I have my close friends (Air Man 2, Bone Guy and Smooth Guy. Again, read previous post) to teach me how. Besides the fact that they’re a little older than me (read: more experiences) and are certified Casanovas in their own right, they are willing to lend their advices on how to woo Singapore. One of their advices on me was that I need to cut down sa paglalandi sa mga babae sa office floor para di ako magmukhang manyak sa kanya. Before in Highschool and College I was a little uneducatedsa babae. Pero ngayon nung nagta-trabaho na ko, I quickly got exposed to all kinds of women. Before it was just FHM magazines, now well, it’s not constant visits to nightclubs or Beerhouses (although I did experience that) but it seems it was easier to talk to women now. I don’t know, maybe it’s because the women I’ve encountered there are outgoing and mature. I became used to talking to women that the ones that I became close with hinaharot ko, like niyayakap ko sila or kinukurot ko sa gilid. Some of them nagustuhan ko, at marami rin sila, mga 7. Tinuloy-tuloy ko lang yung paglalandi sa kanila at baka ma-develop. May isa na feeling ko may gusto rin sa akin pero di ako intersado masyado sa kanya. She’s too boyish and she’s not my type. There’s also this other girl na yung tipong “sana hinintay na nya ko, imbes na natyatyaga ka dyan sa boyfriend mo (cue the Parokya Ni Edgar song “Halaga”).” She was a little chubby and we really connected well. At times we would text and nagbibiruan kami. Pero hanggang dun lang yun. But if ever she would break up with her boyfriend, popormahan ko yun. Pero hindi eh. Oh well.

Then there was this one time that a working female College student from a different team became close to our male group that during times that she is all alone on a shift, where none of her teammates are there, she would sit near us or beside me. Man, she’s got really big knockers at pwede mong silipan sya. She doesn’t mind the stares because she’s like “one-of-the-boys”. She also often wears short skirt that one time I was talking to her and as a way of comforting her, I touched her thigh. After that incident I was so proud of myself I told them what I did. They just shrugged it and said “para yun lang eh…” but for me it was something. I felt like that was one of those times that I became a Casanova. Okay, maybe a Casanova-in-Training.

But, upon my friend’s request, I had to quit the maharot type. Para magka-brownie points ako kay Singapore. Para kay Singapore, babait ako.

And being the easily-influenced guy that I am, while we were having another memorable drinking session, Bone Guy suggested to me that I write Singapore a letter. Writing a letter, he says, can help you say the things that you can’t say when you are in front of the person. And being the probinsyana type of girl, it can also help you look more passionate and serious in courting the girl. I calculated the risk and why not, it’s worth a shot.

I wrote first on a yellow pad to draft the “love letter” and also to avoid erasures. I can’t remember everything that I wrote, but it’s mostly me remembering the times that we were seatmates during the times we were taking calls; me smiling when her conservative persona is shattered when she gets angry with the caller and when she greets the caller with an accent. Of course I included the part when Ii asked her if we can be a couple. Talagang tinuon ko ng oras din yung pagsusulat. I gave her the letter during our shift and waited for a response from her. I waited the whole night but I got nothing. At the end of our shift I approached her on the locker area and said:

Me: Singapore, nabasa mo ba yung sulat ko?

Singapore: Oo.

Me: Uhm, well, anong masasabi mo dun? Totoo yung sinabi ko dun sa letter.

Singapore: Di pwede (my name), may boyfriend na ko…

Me: Ah, ganun, ok.

BAM!!! Rejection again. It would hurt a lot if I wasn’t expecting it. I mean, she didn’t react much to the letter (or that she doesn’t have the ability to, given her short responses to everything. I’m kidding.) And just the “gut feeling” of it. You know how it feels. I remember after our shift ended in the morning and I was already about to sleep, her answer kept on replaying on my head. It almost made me cry and parang nasasaktan ako na parang me tumutusok sa tagiliran ko. It took me a while to sleep that day. I guess it really hurt a lot because I invested on so much time on her, and the fact na di pa ko nagkaka-girlfriend. I admit, I was a little pressured on making her my girl, but I guess it’s not yet my time.

My friends quickly heard the news, and as usual they made fun of me but advised that I still talk to her so the fact that we being friends would never fade away. Plus, I didn’t believe that she has a boyfriend. I thought that Singapore didn’t know me well so she said no that day. In a way my mantra that time was “When a girl says “NO” it means “NO” or “try harder, stupid.”

Days go by and I learned on our team-meeting in Batangas that she DOES have a boyfriend; I saw her going to a corner alone and talking to someone over her celfone a couple of times. My teammates told me that her boyfriend was a seaman. And you know that saying na “Seaman-seaMANLOLOKO” or “Ang seaman me syota sa iba’t-ibang port”? That happened to her. Well, it’s either that or they broke up because of the hardship of a long-distance relationship. So my quest to get Singapore continues.

I remember on her birthday that I gave her a bouquet of flowers. Before nung shift pumunta ako sa isang flower shop kiosk on a nearby mall and bought one. I had it made to order for her taste. I can’t remember what type of flower it is, but its theme is pink, since she’s the girly type. I hid it under my seat when I was taking calls and I gave it to her at the end of her shift. At first ayaw nyang tanggapin, nahihiya lang siguro, but my teammates and my Team Manager persisted on her accepting my gift. Eventually she did and I walked her home that day. She thanked me and I was proud of myself that day.

But that joy quickly faded, since she was not really opening up to me and didn’t show interest after all those months. I was like, “Ano bang problema mo at ayaw mo pa sa akin??” I became so annoyed on her that I kept on saying to myself (and after a few weeks, to others) that she has the charm of a mailbox; di mo sya mapapansin. Heck, I even said that a mailbox has more charm than her. I know it was wrong for me to do that, but I guess every man has his limit; I’ve reached mine. I gave up on Singapore and just saw her as a teammate and nothing else. My biggest mistake was I wasn’t courteous to her anymore. On our company year-end party she asked me if I could watch over her handbag since she wants to take a picture of a band. I said yes but I was rolling my eyes. She noticed it and decided to carry it instead. Just plain wrong, I know.

Well, based on what I’ve seen on her Facebook profile, she resigned and is happily working in that country and is in a relationship with a fellow officemate. The officemate is a little too sure of himself (read: mahangin), so it was a surprise for me on how he got Singapore. I guess some men know how to pursue a woman.

What did I learn? A lot, actually. I learned how to be patient and being respectful with a woman. I learned how to be patient on courting, that a great deal of time can be spent. But mostly the cruel reality that there is someone out there that is not for you even if you really tried your hardest. There will come that time, and you just have to accept it.

What I find that is really funny is that my time with Singapore was a combination of all the girls I’ve tried to court. Her faint moustache (Qatar), best friends with the girl I’ve courted before (Valuenzuela) and yung paghahatid sa kanya (Bulacan). Looking at the rather-ominous signs, could it mean that Singapore is the last of the girls that rejected me and the next would say yes? Hmmm… maybe.

(TO BE CONCLUDED)

The Torpe Road Recap

It’s almost the end of the “Road” for me and I admit I enjoyed the fame, however small it may be. I am a little disappointed that I wasn’t able to finish this on time. I was planning on finishing the whole memoirs by the end of the year (2011) but y’know, I gots lazy. Plus it can be difficult to write a 4-page story loaded with wit, humor and past events with my brain 110% focused and it being easily distracted (damn you internet!!!).

I would like to thank the people who have read all of blog posts (you know who you are) and apologize for the 3-4 months of waiting for the next post.

While I am still waiting for a call from any local or foreign publisher to collect all my “The Torpe Road” entries into one book (bakit hindi? Itsh mah dream, you know? Besides seeing the Eiffel Tower and banging Bangs Garcia, of course)

I thought that before giving out one of my last “Road” post it would be fitting to give a recap on all the past accounts that I had. It’s like a “catch-up” before giving out the finale. Tsaka baka me mga nagbabasa na di pa nabasa yung ibang post ko, o kaya tinatamad na hanapin yung previous entries (I know some people) so here they are, conveniently in one post plus quote(s) from the said post to make you be interested in reading it plus a link, of course.

P.S. Up to now I really thought the idea of replacing the girl’s name with the name of the place that they currently live are pretty clever. Thanks, Men’s Health magazine contributor.

New Zealand

“…we [had a] prom [on our] graduating year. While chatting with my friends New Zealand suddenly appeared. Man, I swore when I saw her beautiful music was playing. The appropriate song would be “She” by Elvis Costello.”

Valuenzuela

“[She] gave me a small letter folded and stapled...I opened the letter and it read… I have fallen in love with you”

Qatar

“I want to meet [her]…and she agreed. When I walked there a woman stood up and smiled. It’s a good thing she recognized [me] since she looked a little different while wearing her Nurse uniform. She looks beautiful. I mean, I’m a sucker for women in uniform…”

Las Pinas

“[I was talking to her over the] phone that night [and asked] bakit di na lang maging tayo… bakit di natin subukan?”

Bulacan

“I always sense that she perceives me as a very smart and mature guy, and hope that in the process of being with her when we are traveling together would make her forget that [other] guy and be with me instead”

Paranaque

“I also noticed that while I was talking to her [on our date] she kept on checking her celfone and texting someone.”

Bacolod

“I gave [the gifts] to her the next day and she thanked for the gesture but parang naramdaman ko na di sya interesado sa ginawa ko.”

So there they are. See, you’re not alone in this, Mr. Emo-guy-na-wala-pang-girlfriend-since-birth. I’ve been there. And, looking at my previous entries, some of them have grammatical errors and typos. Again, I apologize. I’ll fix them soon, but at least nandun pa rin yung idea.

The Torpe Road Part 7

Pride is a good and a bad thing. For example, your school winning in a varsity game reaps self-respect and makes your parents proud of the thousands of pesos/dollars/baht that they have spent, giving you quality education and athletic students, plus the simple joy of still being with your long-time B.I. friends during highschool or even elementary. On the other hand if your school loses we would sometimes get into a riot and destroy public property and you'd humiliate the image of your school. That’s pride for you. It’s almost as potent as love. Go figure.

Like it or not, men have REALLY huge egos. That’s why we validate our existence with that Ferrari, iPad 2 and that Wolverine Statue purchase. We may regret it in the future, but at least we have something to make payabang sa mga barkada natin. The same also goes with bagging that chick of a girl-next-door, probisyana or a tattooed type. We have a lot to be proud of getting that girl based on pa-porma alone, but there is also the possibility for it to be broken in a million pieces if the said chick ay binasted ka sa mga dahilan na nakakasakit sa inyong pagkakalalake.This is what this girl did to me, which we will call Bacolod.

It was the year 2006. I’ve just graduated from College and want to look for work. Looking for job with a 5-digit salary, I’ve tried to apply at a Call Center. I know na medyo malayo sya sa pinag-aralan ko, pero one thing led to another. Besides, I don’t want to be that one guy na 8 buwan na naghahanap ng trabaho na related sa work nya at wala pa ring mahanap, or yung nakahanap nga ng ganung trabaho pero nasa isang environment na paulit-ulit ang tinutugtog na pambatang kanta at walang water dispenser sa pinagta-trabahuhan nila. Believe me, I know some people. Anyway, I’ve applied in 3 Call Centers but all of them gave me the boot. Either I gave bad answers on the interviews or I failed on the typing or written tests. I just persisted and in Call Center No. 4 I was able to get the job. It was a very rewarding experience.

So there I was, a call center agent. There are a lot of benefits and disadvantages of being one, as I later learned. For example, if you are a fresh graduate, being in a call center makes you marketable while trying to bag that “dream job” because some companies wanted employees with some work experience, and working in a call center does accomplish that. There’s also a lot of money that can be earned, the main reason that a lot of people work here. Just by talking to people over the phone, you can earn almost 40% more than regular bank employees. And sometimes companies give out incentives like gift certificates, additional money, gadgets and movie tickets to urge people to work harder. And because of that, often the work can be really stressful. Mapipilitan kang maki-usap sa Americans who are slow, abuse you verbally, make threats and, on rare occasions, make sexual remarks. There’s also the graveyard shift, where you work in the wee hours in the evening. Picture this: it’s 2am, half of the populace are sleeping and dreaming while you are in an office talking to an American instructing him/her how to open the computer/ explain how interest works/ dispute a suspicious transaction on the bill. And then after work you are forced to sleep na may araw na sumisinag sa bintana ng kwarto mo.Minsan mabi-bwiset ka pa dahil may nag-iingay sa kabilang bahay or me inaayos na kalsada. And of course there’s the theme of monotony. After 2-3 months masasanay ka agad, so it gets boring immediately. But, all work is like that. It’s just that a call center job has a quick learning curve.

I was already training to achieve an American accent or at least sound like a professional American English talker and learning the system that we would use on our computers to assist them when I met Bacolod.

Bacolod is of average height, morenang-morena and has long hair almost reaching to her lower part of her back. She has these mesmerizing eyes that I think that’s how I fell in love with her. Originally we were divided into 2 groups to be trained and she was in the other group. It was in the product knowledge classes, where we would become familiar with the workarounds of the caller’s problems, that I met her as well as a group of 3 friends that are downright maangas at matitinik sa tsiks, something that I lacked and benefited from their advice (which I will tell more later). We were like a dance crew: no one guy is recognized without the whole. There is Smooth Guy: he acts like the leader of our crew and he’s so smooth, kaya nyang pasagutin si Mother Teresa. Next is Bone Guy: he comes from Baguio and has a fetish for fashioning snake bones into accessories. He’s also a chickboy but he’s not that smooth. Me ka-sablayan din. Lastly, there’s Air Man 2: man, I don’t know why I always befriend the mayabang type. Medyo mayabang sya pero nasa lugar naman. He always wanted to include himself on conversations so we also call him Bidaman (laging bumibida) , a nod to that Anime series and toyline. We really bonded, thanks to alcohol and our common topic, which are girls. Heck, any guy group’s topic is girls.

I really had fond memories of the group. There was one time when we were in the morning shift and after work we’ve decided to drink in Bone Guy’s apartment. We talked a lot of things, but things got censored when the girlfriend/wife of Air Man 2 and Smooth Guy, respectively, went to the place to maybe bantayan kami at baka gumawa kami ng kababalaghan, if you know what I mean. It was still a fun time and in the end we stayed up all night and slept for only 1-2 hours then went to work again. Luckily there was training that day so we were able to doze off. Those were the days…

Anyway, when I saw Bacolod for the first time I immediately fell in love with her. She had that impeccable charm na meron ang mga probinsyana. Sabi nga sa Bamboo song na “Probinsyana”

“Mahirap amuhin/ ang Probinsyana/pag napa-ibig/ wala kang duda...“

I was able to man up because I’m tired of being the torpe guy. I approached and talked to her during breaks and when we were seatmates. My friends easily saw that I had plans to court her and they were both a help and a pain in the ass. It’s like Highschool again as we were teased by my fellow trainees. It became hard because nailang sya but I still received support from my other trainees, especially my friends. I was able to show off my artistic side and explain to her in a way how artists think. Sadly, I wasn’t able to learn much about her other than that she is with her best friend here in Manila, nag-aral maging teacher, lives in Bacolod and naghanap ng trabaho na malaki ang kita so nag-apply sa call center, and as I have learned later on, meron ding pumo-porma sa kanya sa klase namin. I’ll tell you more about it later.

I remember my close friends during training said to me na bumili ako ng cake at single-stemmed rose at ibigay ko sa kanya para pan-dagdag pogi points. Yeah, baduy kung baduy,pero kumagat ako at naisipan ko din naman na okey na idea yun. Besides, I am easily influenced by people who are close to me. They’d suggest something or bring an idea, and I’d do it or weigh the options. That’s one of my weaknesses, but there are limitations. Like infomercials.Di talaga ako maniniwala sa mga iyon. Anyway, I had to go to Glorietta and bought a Red Ribbon Cake and an expensive rose that also comes along with a mini-water container to avoid the flower from wilting. I gave it to her the next day and she thanked for the gesture but parang naramdaman ko na di sya interesado sa ginawa ko . I did get a beso so to my Torpe mind okay na rin. I was really open to any ideas that Smooth Guy and Air Man 2 proposed to stage a fight near her seat para makita nya ang mangyayari and si Air Man 2 ang mag-aawat and then Smooth Guy would apologize to me para magmukha akong maangas sa kanya. We were supposed to execute the plan any time after we (or they) have suggested it, so long as we are near her and our kwentuhan would be perfect for an argument na hindi mukhang peke. We were able to do it but me katangahan akong ginawa; hinamon ko sya na magsuntukan sa loob ng Training room. Smooth Guy almost laughed but we were able to convince the people inside the room that we got into a heated spat. Was all the things I did worth it? Well, despite the teasing and the kind of a juvenile attempt to woo her, yes. But did she give a damn about it? Based on my observation, no. Her full attention was on another co-trainee na pumo-porma sa kanya. Hey, I’m all for a friendly competition. Heck, this is my first time where I had one. It was rather unfortunate that I wasn’t really prepared for something like this. Why?

The person who is wooing her is also a her.

Mega Ouch. Huli ko nang napansin na pinopormahan si Bacolod. The lesbian is a little chubby, has boy-cut hair, almost the same height as me and wears glasses. The funniest and bitter thing here is Bacolod seems to really like her. I don’t know, I guess that me pinag-samahan na sila sa unang training class at magaling sya sa panliligaw, probably because she knows what a girl thinks and wants. Nonetheless, I took the challenge and tried my best to make her choose me instead of her.

But alas. I was no match. I finally gave up when I tried to talk to her and she doesn’t seem to be interested in what I’m saying and one time when I walked her home she kept on asking her best friend about the lesbian and naramdaman ko na parang wala lang ako dun. It made a huge crack to my ego. My friends kept on teasing me, saying stuff like “Mas gusto nya kasi na umuwi sa kanila na di buntis” or “Ampota natalo ka ng babae p’re!!!”. It can really bring you down, but you have to move on.

Y’know, even back in Highschool I am intrigued and hated lesbians. Like, how they were able to hook up with a beautiful girl, how they look inappropriate with their trying-hard-to-speak-in-a-husky-voice, boy-cut hair and wearing-loose-clothing-to-conceal-their-breasts. During college the thought of “ Bakit sila ang pinili kaysa sa aming lalake?” kept popping on my head so you can see why I despise them. And the way na manlambing sila, ugh. Get a room. It’s bad enough that boyfriends and girlfriends cuddle na magpalit na ng mukha, eh sa kaparehas pa ng kasarian? But my perception with them changed over time when I befriended some lesbians at the office, so I was able to ask questions and understood their story. Nalaman ko na mga tao rin naman sila, may mga sariling pag-iisip at kagustuhan. When you think about it, our society is not that open to same-sex relationships so mas mahirap din sa kanila yung makahanap ng pag-ibig. As a result I dropped the hate, wala rin naming mangyayari sa akin kung puro lang galit ang nasa loob ko. And I made a vow not to hate lesbians…so long as they don’t pick yung nililigawan ko rin. Fate seemed to be okay with my deal.

Bacolod seems to be doing fine now, based from what I’ve seen on her Facebook page. She “broke up” with the lesbian, went back to her home province and is working as a call center agent in another company. You could say that what she went through was just a “phase” like what girls go through with their stay at dorms during college . Like that Katy Perry song:

“ I kissed a girl/ and I like it”

And the lesbian? Well, from what I know, she traveled to the U.S. maybe to look for work, but bumalik na dito at nakita ko pa sya one time when I am already out from work. For one brief moment gusto ko syang sapakin, maybe to just vent out. But it was just an idea. Malay mo, ako pa yung mapahiya sa ginawa ko.

But don’t feel bad with me (well, I hope you are) as all my efforts are not lost with Bacolod. It seems that I repeated history in a way that I saw her best friend…and I took another leap of faith.

The Torpe Road Part 6

It’s like an end of your favorite TV show or your favorite rock band disbanding (or usually the vocalist getting greedy and wanting to do a solo career). It’s bittersweet and you need to move forward and try out new stuff. Like juggling, for instance.

It’s almost the end of the “Road” for me. As much as it is therapeutic and me becoming a celebrity in the strictest sense with my close friends and (maybe) people from Iceland, South Africa and China, it can be rather traumatic to think back on what I did. Sure, there’s the philosophy of trial and error but remembering what you did before can be painful. Heck, Present Me would smack my Past Me’s head so hard and shout “ TANGINA!!! BAKIT YAN ANG GINAWA MO???!!!”. But I guess even playboys have his bad day.

Which is what this post is all about. This is one of my greatest follies. My greatest sablay. I’m not particularly proud of what I did, but it just happened. I think I’

m selling it too much and I’m afraid I might not deliver. But enough of the hype, let’s get this going…

It’ll only be a few more years before I would graduate from College. We were already thinking of what our Thesis subject will be but also able to enjoy the benefits of being a College

student, like going to concerts and being in charge of your time. Because there are times that you’d have a 2-3 hour interval from your next class and you could use that time to either go to the mall or bisitahin yung pinopormahan mo sa dorm nya. And it was at that free time that I met this classmate of mine in a different way. She will be named Paranaque.

Paranaque is a bit tall, almost at 5’6. She had long, black hair and almost looks Chinese because of her singkit eyes. Another distinguishing attribute of Paranaque is her buck front teeth. She’s barkada with Las Pinas ( see Part 3) and is the usual Art student. You know the type: the one who prefers Tori Amos over Taylor Swift kind. I’ve been classmates with Paranaque ever since I enrolled in our University pero I only saw her as a friend and fellow classmate. It never dawned on me that she can be a potential girlfriend, not until Rivermaya came to our campus one pre-Christmas day.

It was our Annual University Christmas Celebration , and another way of ending the School year.We were treated to one free choice of food in famous fast food restaurants and eateries, seeing the whole campus grounds lit up in Christmas lights and a free concert. During that time Rivermaya was the one that will play for us, where Rico Blanco was still the vocalist. They played well, and even joked around about piracy; “… wag kayong bibili ng piratang CD namin, hiramin nyo na lang yung orig sa kaibigan mo at ipa-burn nyo na lang…” We’ve learned later on that whileRivermaya is waiting for their “set” they stayed in our College building since malapit lang yun sa stage. Paranaque and her friends was in our building that time and nakapagpa-kuha sila ng picture sa mga miyembro ng banda. She uploaded it on then-famous social network Friendster and I commented on it and even made a joke in reference to their hit song during that time “Liwanag sa Dilim” and changed it to “Liwanag sa Panty”. It was corny but we were able to make a connection. You could pretty much guess that at that exact moment I was able to make my “moves” on her…

After that I was already talking and made my trademark corny jokes to her. I was even able to get her landline number and we talked for hours. We talked about Anime and some of my barkada’s ka-sablay-an sa panliligaw. I was never the one to talk about that, but I guess it came involuntarily because puro dead air na sa telepono at wala na rin akong masyadong makuwento. Even then, my previous telephone conversations sa mga dati kong niligawan only helped so little with Paranaque. Nonetheless, I was able to learn a lot about her. She is a tomboy type and has also watched hentai, much to my amusement. She also is best friends with my ka-barkada na lalake but there was no competition. She also broke up with her long-time boyfriend because of him cheating on her. You know how it goes; you’d feel sorry for her but a little happy because it gives you a big window of an opportunity for her to become your girlfriend. It looks easy but it requires the utmost care. Because any minute she might get back with him. It’s like becoming a singer where you have to take care of your voice or else you won’t be able to go abroad ( well, let’s be realistic here anyway… )

Speaking of those kinds of singers, I’d like to go off-topic and talk about my experience with my past neighbors. Overlooking my room is the other house’s staircase and a room which is in my humblest judgment mga dalawang babae na nag-a-apply na Cultural Artist, or “japayuki”. Why such a claim? Because everyday in the afternoon for what seems to be almost 2 months they’d practice their vocal abilities with a guidance of a gay vocal coach. They can be pretty loud, so siesta is out of the question. I remember in my ka-bad trip-an I’d remark about their inability to sing. One song that stands out in their practice sets is the Jennifer Lopez’s song "Waiting for Tonight”. There’s a line in the song where they’d sing it like this:

“ …I want to stay in this forever/ I think of the days when the sun used to set/ On my empty heart, all alone in my bed/ TOW-SING and turning/ Emotions were strong/ I knew I had to hold on/ [CHORUS] Waiting for Tonight/ OOOOHHHHH .…”

Wait, wait, wait, wha-aaatttt????

“ TOW-SING [tossing] and turning…”

At first I thought that it was a mistake, but they’d sing that part like that every time. I was laughing my ass off and even shouted to them “ HUY MALI-MALI YAN!!!”. I never knew if the girls there were sexy or pwedeng pag-nasahan because I never saw them. There was one time where the room overlooking mine was their “changing room” and I chanced that one of them finished taking a bath and was about to dress up. Tamang-tama at nakapatay yung ilaw sa kwarto ko so sinulit ko na yung pagkakataon. I was on my knees, trying my best peeping tom style when she noticed someone looking at her. No cases were filed but the next day,

there was a curtain placed in the room. Nuts. The worst luck ever was that my room is also overlooking their bathroom… but you can’t see it since it is parallel to my window. Believe me, you can’t see anything. I tried. Thrice.

Moving forward, I was really trying my best to be a potential boyfriend to her. As usual, we were being teased by my classmates and one Professor about us being an item. One time, during our outdoor sketches, one of my classmates has a SLR camera with him and my professor egged us on having a photo of us. We obliged much to my professor’s amusement. My friend gave me a print of it and I showed it to my parents. My dad had the most bizarre reaction when he saw the photo. He was sitting on the edge of the bed and when he saw it binitawan nya yung litrato at nalaglag sa sahig. I don’t know if he’s joking or not but it seemed cruel. Well, a lot of my friends too objected to the idea sa pagliligaw ko sa kanya because she’s not the pretty type. That may be true in some sense but I was kinda desperate. And, who knows, Paranaque could be worth the risk. Heck, I skipped a class just so that I could watch my favorite show, The Drew Carey Show that evening. Was it worth the risk? Not really, but I enjoyed the guilty pleasure…

It was a few weeks after that Friendster occurrence when I asked her out to a movie date to Robinsons Ermita. She hesitated at first but she said yes. I was so happy but a few days after she approached me and:

Paranaque: (my name), bakit mo ko niyayang manuod ng sine?

Me: Wala lang, gusto ko lang.

Paranaque: Kasi, parang feeling ko nililigawan mo ko...

( at that point I was speechless; I don’t know how to respond to that. )

Paranaque: (my name), kakagaling ko lang sa break-up, ayoko pa na tumanggap ng ligaw at gusto ko pa muna mag-focus sa pag-aaral…

Me: Ah ganun ba? Okey lang. Pero mag-date pa rin tayo . At least let me keep my word to you…

Paranaque: Sige…

Sonofabitch. Dalawang beses na akong binagsakan ng ganung linya. ( the first one was from New Zealand, see Part 1 ). Di ka rin talaga masasanay dun. I was shattered but I did continue our movie date. As an advice to my friends, we made a “dry run” to know where to take her to eat and how to commute to the Mall. Yan ang pagkakaibigan. Kahit di nila boto, tutulungan ka pa rin nila. We were supposed to meet in front of our College building at Saturday. When I went to our meeting place she was already there waiting for me. Late ako. Well, we took the FX and even I packed a note on my celfone some of the things I want to say to her to explain my side on bakit ko sya niligawan blah blah blah. Di ko sya nagamit at iniisip ko yung mga galaw ko. We ate at Sbarro, since I liked their food back then. After eating we talked a little about sa mga dapat gawin sa panliligaw. Pinagdiin nya na dapat wag akong ma-late. Ok lang na late ang babae, wag lang ang lalaki. I also noticed that while I was talking to her she kept on checking her celfone and texting someone. I never knew who it was but I guess it could be her best friend checking up on her or such. Nailang talaga ako dun, I kept thinking about the article I read from FHM before that on a first-time date when a girl is engrossed more on exchanging text messages than exchanging stories with you means that she’s texting her friends: “Dis date sux. I wana go home” or “Grabe ang boring kausap nito”. But still she was supportive and also recommended me to be firm sa panliligaw. Lakasan mo loob mo. We watched the movie Constantine.

It was a bad choice for a first-time movie date because it was a little creepy but the other choices were Tagalog movies. We did enjoy the movie and I escorted her to the FX terminal that would take her home. That evening I cried a little because I felt like the date was a big sablay, and that there would be no more chances of her being with me. But Thesis came so I was able to block out all of my emotions there.

A few weeks after that fiasco I later learned that her best friend na ka-barkada ko eh naging sila na. I was surprised about the news and at first I did not take it well. Bitter-bitter-an ako nun. I kept thinking “ tama ka nga pre, ampangit naman nya eh…” and “ loko pala sya eh, ayaw pa raw nya magka-BF tapos anong nangyari???” . I was not proud of that feeling but I had to move on. I had to accept that maybe she’s not that into me. We had some little friction pa before especially with our strong personalities. One of the good things about her relationship with my ka-barkada was she started to wear skirts and became more of a girl. We graduated and I found out that a few months after graduation, they broke up. We never knew why but I was able to find out when I was able to talk to her again over the telephone. That time I was looser and I don’t have to project an image to her. Turns out they broke up because of the usual thing men do to women. Alam nyo na yun. She also got back with her ex and they are still together after all these years. It was not something that I would approve of, I mean that’s what exes are, but what the hell. It’s her choice.

The biggest sablay that I was talking about before was when most of us have work and she texted me. Nakipag-kwentuhan sya sa akin and made a comment on my call center work. “Bakit di ka na lang mag-hanap ng trabaho na related sa pinag-aralan mo? Sayang din naman yun.”. I replied “ Ito muna yung nakuha ko eh. Darating naman tayo dyan…”. I was a little irritated about her text so I texted my best friend. Kinuwento ko yung sinabi nya sa akin at sinabi ko na epal sya. I sent it to my best friend and I was surprised that Paranaque forwarded the message to me.

I accidentally sent the message to her.

When I found out about my error I fell down on the floor and was cursing a lot. I just replied : "Well, you were not supposed to read that. ” and she never replied back. Her friends, mostly Las Pinas was texting me on how bad I am to tell her that. My barkada supported me in a manner of teaching me what to reply to her texts. Paranaque and I had a crack in our relationship and we never talked to each other.

It was only a few years that I was able to talk to her again when her mother passed away. She invited me to her wake but I had work that night so I wasn’t able to come. I was able to fix my mistake and all the bad blood was gone. She is still with her previous boyfriend, and is working at a graphic design company. We were able to meet again at a reunion and she looks happy with the choices that she made. I learned that you just have to be strong and remove all the bad energy that you may have sa panliligaw. That, and it’s best to use “codenames” sa pagte-text and to double-check who you are sending the message to.

art by Jerald Dorado, text by me