Rants Galore

- It has been a while since I've ranted on this blog. I had to sacrifice that so I could tell my story on the many, many women that I've caroused before. And now that it is done ( plus a "reaction paper" of sorts to those who have reacted ) I feel like I want to set fire to a building.

- I want to say a lot, I just don't know where to start.

- Heck, there are some things I want to say that are pretty political. Well, here goes:

- I think people joining the marathon as a way to "save the environment" is a big baloney. For one, the money that you pay mostly goes to the drinks that they would give to the thirsty runners, those numbers that you place on your body, prize giveaways, the rent of the road, the security to avoid having runners being run over by motorists and the goodie bags ( I remember a conversation one time that there was this one guy that joined a marathon just to get the giveaways like the tote bag and lanyard and didn't finish it ). So only 20% of your money goes to the environment. Sure, you could think about the sponsors and the government shelling out cash just for promotion and a humanitarian effort, but I still think they'd get money from the registration fee. So for me, run just to meet new people and to melt some few pounds.

- Because of the popularity of social networks, I find it quite irritating that there people complaining of an "invasion of privacy". PLEASE. There are "apps" on Facebook, for example, that tells your friends of where you are at that exact moment. So the "invasion of privacy" skit? You're creating your own ways of invading your privacy.

- Every time I go to the grocery, I'm quite impressed by the huge number of foods available, ranging from fresh produce to processed foods. So it is pretty impossible that there are lots of hungry people out there. We people of the world are just greedy, that's all.

- I also notice that the ratio of trees to buildings in a cityscape is 2:15. That's why there is that "global warming" thing. A lot of architects, engineers and the CEOs of those buildings can sacrifice a little space just for those trees to grow more. Sure there are still some that growing out of a condominium, BUT IT'S NOT ENOUGH.

- No matter how smart you are in this world, it's quite sad that men judge women by their cup sizes.

- Because of the humor website 9gag, many people all over the 'net would say juvenile things like "BITCH PLEASE", "stupid lvl over 9000" , "thank you captain obvious", etc. etc. Man, where is the substance?

- Die-hard toy collectors still look "single-by-fate", balding, fat and nerdy. When will that stereotype end?

- oh yeah, i'm back...

- "the king"

The Torpe Road Aftermath

It has been less than 3 weeks since I’ve finished my “The Torpe Road” series and I was glad it was over. Looking at my track record of making something, I have the tendency na hindi tapusin yung nasimulan ko. With that said, I was really happy to tell my story to the world and all the reactions I have gotten. There were times na nagugulat ako sa sarili ko at kaya kong magsulat ng isang passionate na blog post. Here are some of the quotes that I received from those who have read it:

“Ayos tong story mo man. I actually read the whole thing”

“nice blog dude”

“nice one”

“detalyado masyado nakalagay”

“thanks for the memories (teary eyed) hahaha...”

“nabasa ko blog mo. Maganda…”

“im now a fan…”

“ayos yung blog mo na the Torpe Road a”

“ok naman nakakarelate ...dapat sayo mag DJ kanalang pare se

ryoso“

“naalala ko ata lahat yan lol”

“kinda maganda”

“damn it! where is the like button? *fist bump

And of course I would get this:

“masyadong mahaba”

Lazy cretins.

One of most thought-provoking reactions that I got is from a friend on the office. She said that I seemed pretty proud for telling my story sa mga niligawan ko, that I seemed to embrace my failures and that the “The Torpe Road Series” exposed my personality more. Hey, without knowing your failures and learning from it, you wouldn’t get far. Hats off to her.

Anyway, what surprised me is I received violent reactions from the people I have written about 9 months after I have posted my story. At sila pa yung di ko ine-expect na magre-react (in fact, I was just expecting one). Alam ko naman na me mag-rereact, di ko lang inasahan na ganito katagal. Just shows how today’s generation got lazy and would prefer to watch the movie adaptation instead of reading the actual novel. That, and also walang magbabasa ng blog mo kung di mo binanggit ang isang kakilala mo, na ikwekwento ng kakilala nya, and so on and so forth.And the reactions from these people that they’ve posted are something else. I read them and kita mo na me pinaghuhugutan, na she didn’t like me ever since. And the other one misinterpreted my story on her. Kids today. Sheesh.

I felt it is proper to make a post on my blog to have my say on what they’ve said to me, ‘coz some of them are sorta low-blow. So what I’ll do is show to you people what they’ve said, and then explain more clearly my opinion and what they should understood…

Read this post first here, then get back here...

“For the record, kaya hindi ako nagpaligaw sayo kasi obvious ang desperation mong mgka-gf! My Gad! Sa sobrang desperate, pumasok ka sa callcenter kasi alam mo na dun madami chicks, madaming bading, konti lalaki. may 90% chance ka talaga mgka-gf dun! Yakang-yaka naman ang [my name]. Wag mag-feeling! (uunahan ko na, hindi ko nilalahat ang callcenter, karamihan lang!)“

See? Talagang me pinaghuhugutan. While she may be true that I was kinda desperate sa pagliligaw sa kanya, my reasons for working in a call center is because I want to get a high-paying job. To quote myself, “I know na medyo malayo sya sa pinag-aralan ko, pero one thing led to another. Besides, I don’t want to be that one guy na 8 buwan na naghahanap ng trabaho na related sa work nya at wala pa ring mahanap, or yung nakahanap nga ng ganung trabaho pero nasa isang environment na paulit-ulit ang tinutugtog na pambatang kanta at walang water dispenser sa pinagta-trabahuhan nila. Believe me, I know some people.” I never knew that the ratio of man to woman is 1:4 not until I was already there.

And by the way, hayop sa english skills ah! very..hmm..artistic? Sa uste mo natutunan?

Back then I was already well-versed in writing and speaking in English. I’ve already been writing blogs in Friendster. And hey, this is art in itself. Art is not limited to just painting strokes on a canvas. Art is, as defined by Merriam-Webster, “skill acquired by experience, study or observation”. A skater doing backflips, a speaker having his stand on pollution and writing a fictitious story is an art form in itself.

Read this post first here, and then get back here…

you do need a permission to use other peoples picture or they can sue you... (so think)

While this can be done, it just would look silly asking for permission to get a photo and that person asking you why, and then telling that person why. It would just complicate things. Di syapractical. It was a calculated risk. And besides, madaming mga Facebook fan page na kumukuha ng photos sa ibang tao, dapat ma-sara na sila kung ganun.

and people who think so low about teaching? what do you know? ...pati profession ko as a teacher tinira mo? ndi kana masaya sa mga pinagsusulat mo, matira mo lng ang isang tao dahil napaka bitter mo, yes we couldn't get that high salary they are paying in your field, but we meet and share life and grow together, I earn respect, love and happiness.

Now I never made fun of her profession as a teacher, what I’ve said was, “she pursued her passion for the arts by becoming an Art teacher at her High School. She had a handful with the students because she is teaching First Year to Fourth Year sections. Siguro kulang sa pera yung Alumni nya to get more teachers.” Clearly I am questioning her Alumni’s budget to get more teachers, and not making fun of Teachers. It just wouldn’t be right because I was also taught by teachers, that’s why I can do Trigonometry and speak in a large group of people.

So there. I had my say, if ever they wouldn’t invite me to any reunions, I’ll respect their decision. But honestly, I could care less, I want to write more and explore the world…

In closing, a colleague comforted me by saying that we are shock artistes, we live for reactions.

- "the king"

The Torpe Road Conclusion

And here we are again, to end all that needs to be ended. It was fun while it lasted, despite my unpredictability to keep the story moving because of my failure to keep the gears on my brain working. I mean, sure, I could have just write all of it in 2-3 months, but it just wouldn’t be the same. Mawawala ang wit, ang humor and most especially, the passion (naks!) to tell the most wonderful story ever done since The Notebook by Nicholas Parks. Or maybe Hachiko: A Dog’s Story (kahit di ko pa napanuod yung either versions sa DVD.) Again, before we begin, I would like to extend my gratitude to all those who read, natawa and nakarelate sa mga sinulat ko. You made this Torpe guy happy. Mas matutuwa pa ko kung na-recommend nyo pa ito sa mga kakilala nyo. At kung sinabi na “ayoko, ang haba naman” you have my permission to maul him/her.

Now that is out of the way what I find interesting is I promised myself na isusulat ko lang yung mga experiences ko sa mga niligawan ko, at hindi sa mga girlfriend ko. Pero I felt like it just wouldn’t be right if I didn’t tell my story on them. And besides, I only had 2 girlfriends (I’m a late bloomer, really), so this will be short. I decided not to tell all since some are pretty intimate.Sa amin-amin na lang yung ibang detalye.

It was 2008. So there I was, being dumped again for the 8^th time by Singapore at work. I was so frustrated at the world that I just want to piss at it. No girl is giving a damn on me so I felt like I just want to concentrate on work, be with my friends and laugh at everything and just let a potential girl come to me. Ayoko na maghirap pa. Kung me magparamdam man o wala, okey lang sa akin, I’m having fun without a girlfriend. It seemed the most logical thing to do during that time.

Until I met this girl at our office. She will be named Cubao. Cubao is of average height, almost at 5’6, has long shiny black hair, a distinguishing mole at her upper lip and a morena. One attention-grabbing thing here is she works as a security guard in our office. Now before you all raise your eyebrows and say something demeaning like “pumatol ka sa guard?, Lola na ba yan???” or “bumaba na standards mo p’re” hear me out. For one, she is not your ordinary security guard. She was statuesque. In short, seksi nya. In fact, what attracted me

when I first saw her at the front of the glass door separating our production floor from the lobby is her hubog. She had curves on the right places.

She was new to the agency pero di ko sya napansin until mga few days ago. I remember when really I saw her I did a double take. Parang, “wow, guard ito???” What’s really amazing about me and men in particular is sasabihin mo na ayaw mo na umibig ulet, pero once na me nakita ka na natipuhan mo, gagaling agad ang puso mong nasaktan. Which is what happened to me. I would go in out of the doors more often and talk to her. I remember when she asked me what my name is I gave a fake one. I gave Armando, if I’m not mistaken.

Then one time after work it was still in the afternoon and I was already at home since malapit lang ako sa office I have decided out of the blue to get her number. I mustered enough courage and reviewed the tips given to me by my friends and when I stepped out of the elevator I saw her with a fellow male guard. She was playing with a rubber ball since mga ganung oras wala nang tao sa production floor at petix mode na lang. I asked for her number and she obliged. I texted her in the evening and dun na nagsimula lahat.

Sa mga sumusunod na araw me routine na ko: after work, tambay muna sa office para makipag-kwentuhan kay Cubao. Then after her shift nagte-text-an kami. I learned a lot about her dahil sa pag-tatambay ko. She finished College from Davao but one thing lead to another that’s why she took the job of a security guard, likes Hamonado and treats her hair with hot oil. What I also found out that surprised me is that we have a 7-year age gap. But honestly, it wasn’t a factor. Heck, di nga pansin sa itsura nya. We clicked and I felt na me tsansa ako sa kanya. I guess we have that feeling.

A month or two after that first meeting, I asked her the magic question during one time na hinatid ko sya pauwi. Kung tayo na ba. She said yes and I can’t remember what happened after but I feel like a million bucks. I was the happiest guy on the world during that time.

After 23 years of being single, I’m a boyfriend to someone.

News spread fast on the office. Some of my officemates gave me a “mental fist bump”, congratulating me on the effort that I did. She is a looker, after all. There is also the usual teasing, like “uuyyy, si [my name] binata na”, “makakapasok na si [my name] ng kahit ano sa loob ng production floor” and “pag-swipe ng scanner nya me kasama pang kiss”. But I didn’t mind. Kasama talaga yun pag me nalamang balita na me jowa ka.

Speaking of kiss, with Cubao it was the first time I had an “intimate” kiss. Torpe as I am, I was not a “dude with no kiss experience”. I had my first kiss with a gradeschool classmate. Then after that I had some run-ins with some “bars” but it wasn’t passionate. There was no emotion involved. With Cubao I got that. I remember during Highchool a classmate of mine said to me that kissing a girl is no different from kissing your own skin. He even demonstrated by kissing his hand. I guess he has his opinion (and besides, gwapo rin sya so I’m sure nakarami na yun ng babae) , but for me, iba pa rin eh.

We were able to go out and watch movies and shop around on malls, despite her tight schedule. I was even able to meet her older brother one time. What I like about her is regardless of the age gap, or the “November-December” affair, she can be easily amused. Natatawa sya agad sa mga jokes ko. And her maturity helps when we have arguments; we can never be mad with each other for more than a day. I guess you could say I found the girl I’ve been looking for, unconventional as it may seem.

But alas. Things started to get complicated for me to handle and kapal man ng mukha ko, I just don’t know what to do that time, I LET GO… As I’ve written on a blog post years ago “…accepted a terrible fate and moved on.” While I cannot expound much on what happened, let’s just say that I was placed in a situation where I had to make a choice and my decision made me break up with her. She got hurt and I was depressed during the next few days. I wasn’t able to move on properly so I still “became friends” with her in the strictest sense. Kinakamusta ko sya sa work, tine-text ko pa at kumain pa kame sa labas. I know it sounds pathetic, but I thought that I’d let her first find someone then stop pestering her.

This occurred for a couple of months but then something happened in a way where I saw how she can get angry that I decided not to talk or pansinin na sya. Maybe it’s just karma for what I did to her before or a method from the Heavens to stop me from dwelling on the past, but I had to toughen up and just throw my lovelife in disregard. I remember na pinatugtog ko yung kantang “The Last Time” by Eric Benet habang naghuhugas ako ng pinggan sa bahay. This time, I had enough. My only consolation is I was able to experience being a boyfriend and at least di ako mamatay na single since birth. Hey, some people are a lot Torpier than me.

And well, you know what happened after that if you’ve been following my “Road” series. Our team had a new agent, fresh from training. She will be named Fairview.

Fairview is of average height, almost at 5’4. She has long flowing black hair up to her upper arm, has a petite frame and a very distinguishing face. I only saw her when she was taking calls when I was just about to go my respective station. I thought that she’s an agent from another team who took up our space because there are no more available stations. I was introduced to her and several of my teammates by my Team Manager. When I saw her she looked cute and wanted to get to know her better. I was given that chance when my Team Manager made me sat next to her because she needed someone to help her with the concerns of the callers. What was really amusing about that time is I “broke the ice” with some corny jokes.

Me: May joke ako sa mayonnaise…

Fairview: Ano?

Me: Wag na, baka i-spread mo eh… Ito na lang, me joke ako sa dahon…

Fairview : Ano yun ?

Me: Wag na, green eh…

Really clichéd as it is, it helped me introduce myself to her despite the forced laugh from her. I learned from our talks between taking calls that this is her second job, likes 90’s Tagalog romance movies (Jolina-Marvin, Rico Yan-Claudine, John Lloyd-Bea etc.) and rates Sinigang na Baboy as her favorite food. Nagustuhan ko na sya nun since she’s very down-to-earth and very girly, something I look for in a girlfriend. The only problem is she has a boyfriend that is still working on her previous company. Pero sinabi nya na medyo nagkakalabuan na sila because of the “things men do”. I just thought that I should just be there for her when she really needs it, most especially those times. What’s really outstanding about my time with Fairview is that di ako humingi masyado ng payo sa mga kaibigan ko. Every joke, comfort and any manly thing I did to her, sariling kayod ko lang. You could say that my “teachers” (Bone Guy, Air Man 2 and Smooth Guy, see Part 7) taught me well.

I just waited patiently for the time when they would break up so I would seize the opportunity. That time did come and I presented myself in a different manner to her. We ate at some nearby restaurants after shift and I would accompany her to her ride home. It was that moment where my brain asked a question that has been bothering me ever since I found out that she’s single: “Pare, di ka ba mukhang rebound lang nyan?”

That’s when I asked some advice to my “teachers” and a few officemates and all of them gave me the same conclusion: “Wag mo na isipin yun masyado”, “Sa tingin mo papatulan nya lang yung unang nanligaw sa kanya after sya nakipag-break dun sa jowa nya???” “Di importante yun, pake nila???” I heeded their advice and I even asked her out to watch a movie and she said yes. It was that time at the mall that I got to know her better. I even presented to her my passion for collectibles in a toy store. She even learned my time with Cubao. What was really touching and showed that she also had interest in me is she bought me a toy that I’ve been looking at for some time during our date at the mall. I’ve been meaning to buy it but it’s a little expensive. That was very memorable and sweet.

A few days have gone by and eventually I became a little demanding and on the last few minutes of the shift I said to Fairview that our time together would be useless pag hindi pa naging tayo. She checked the clock on her telephone where she is taking calls and marked it as our official time as a couple. I was very, very proud of myself.

I saw in Fairview a very sweet woman, who makes little gestures that makes you feel loved. She also loves my jokes and my constant commentary sa lahat ng bagay na nakikita ko. While we do have our differences on music and movie choices, it was never an issue. And while we do have our ups and downs, they are not enough to bring our relationship to an end. We’ve been to places, celebrated birthdays, gone on countless dates, ate at a dozen restaurants, saw a lot of different kinds of movies, laughed together, met the potential in-laws, met each other’s friends, shared stories and so on and so forth.

I’d like to think that the UPs are what makes it worth it in a relationship, while the DOWNs are the ones that make us think if it really is worth it. So is she worth the journey that I’ve been through? Is she the diamond in the rough na matagal ko nang hinahanap? Is Fairview my “End of the Torpe Road?”

Ay pare, p*t*ng*na, oo…

In the strictest sense ,for now,

THE END.